Favorite Worst Nightmare
by Cusswords
Summary: Casey Novak leads an average life, save for raising her much younger sister and her seemingly unrequited crush on a certain male detective. But when the past rears its ugly head, and old demons emerge, is forgiveness a possibility? Casey/Elliot
1. Inauguration

**A/N: **I probably shouldn't be starting a new story, but whatever—I needed a break. This is just me providing some 'tainment for myself. I hope you all get some out of the deal too.

You all know I pull fan wanks and you also know that I give warnings: **I aged the twins.** They were born in 1993. I think in canon time they were born in 1994 since they were in kindergarten in 1999 when the show began.

Also, the title is borrowed from Arctic Monkey's 2007 album. I love them.

* * *

**Chapter One: Inauguration**

_Mid-August 2007_

Casey Novak was going about her usual morning rituals. Namely indulging in a nuclear powered latté, picking at a bowl of Silk covered granola, shifting through mountains of paperwork and pretending to be fit for human contact.

Technically she wasn't supposed to be within one hundred yards of anything work related, as it was her only day off. However during her time as Manhattan Special Victim Unit's Assistant District Attorney, Casey had come to understand that once the mind had become submerged in the job's precarious routine, it was nearly impossible to sever the bond.

However the bond between thought and reality was shattered by the savage, unrestrained, bluesy caterwauls of Janis Joplin.

Lulu was up.

Casey loved her baby sister with her somber clothing, wayward hair, and her lifetime addiction to psychedelic rock. She was a sweet kid, raising just enough hell to be considered an average warm-blooded teenager, but quiet enough to sometimes be virtually invisible. Lulu played her Jefferson Airplane and her Jimi Hendrix and her Cream for the neighbors, regardless if they wanted to hear it or not. She left books strewn all over the house, she sprayed Tilex after each shower, did her homework when she remembered school came with it and never complained about relinquishing the remote to Casey when _Monk_ came on.

Yes, Lulu was a great kid and pretty awesome as far as much younger sisters went, though it hurt Casey each time she remembered that was the only bond they would ever share.

Janis abruptly stopped moaning about the piece of her heart and Lulu emerged from her bedroom, swimming in her sister's NYU hoodie and a pair of star infested pajama bottoms. Gliding like a perturbed ghost, she mumbled something Casey interpreted as good morning, plopped down on the couch, and began digging for her ancestor's in Casey's half eaten bowl of cereal.

"You're not dressed," Casey gave her a once over. "You're supposed to be dressed."

"And you're not supposed to be working," she nodded at the hoard of files and papers dripping from the leather briefcase thrown sloppily onto the coffee table.

"Since when do Novak women do what we're suppose to?" Casey flashed a smile and tossed a manila folder back into the sea on the couch. She stood up and stretched, glancing down at the valley of overwhelm that had become her living room. She clapped her hands together as if the sound marked the official start of the day. "Finish eating and get dressed, Madam. Elizabeth's party starts in an hour."

When Elliot Stabler got wind of Casey's little sister being new to life in the Big Apple, he graciously invited the two Novak's to his youngest daughter's birthday party. As it turned out the girls were the same age and would be freshman at the same high school, so it was only natural that the two move beyond the professional connection of the adults in their lives.

Too bad said adults couldn't seem to abandon themselves in the method to their own madness.

"I'm not sure I wanna go," Lulu had already dived head first into the digital cable. "Strangers with cake don't seem to ring my social bell."

"I paid hard earned, nonrefundable money for her present," Casey snatched the remote and hauled the girl to her feet. "So get dressed, pretend you have a modicum amount of social skills, and do it quickly because we were supposed to be there thirty minutes ago."

"All right, you win," she bounced off the couch and aimed her spirit like saunter at the fracture in the wall they called a bathroom. "Honestly though, who buys a teenage girl a personalized free trade cotton tote?"

"Somebody that's clumsy with girls of the prepubescent persuasion, obviously."

Lulu let out a soft snicker at that. Soon after her lopsided grin faded and was replaced by a shadow of hurt. She leaned against the threshold of the bathroom door, eyes lost, as if she were searching the orange walls of their apartment for words.

"Hey," Casey moved to her side and laid a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder. "What's the matter?"

"Mom didn't call."

Of course she didn't call. Evelyn didn't believe in frivolous things like phone calls and goodbyes. They'd only heard from their mother once in the two months Lulu had been there. It was just a twenty second message telling them she'd gotten married for the sixth time and that she and her man of the millisecond would be gallivanting across Europe. Don't call because naturally she would call them later.

The problem with Evelyn—insert new married name here—was that later rarely, if ever, came.

"No Lu, sorry, she didn't."

"Figures."

She shrugged and vanished into the bathroom, splashing Casey with all the symptoms of what-if syndrome.

* * *

"Sorry we're late," Casey smiled and nodded at Elliot Stabler when he yanked open his front door. "Punctuality is a foreign concept amongst our kind."

"No worries, just glad you could make it on such short notice," he wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulder and ushered her inside. He turned his blue gaze on Lulu, who was trying desperately to become the world's first human chameleon. "And you must be Lulu." He held out his hand. "I'm Elliot Stabler. Your sister and I work together."

Lulu briefly shook Elliot's hand. "Nice to meet you. Casey's told me so much about you."

"Good I hope," he smiled between the two Novaks and Casey felt a frightening rush of—there were no words—at the sight.

"You have no idea."

Casey was so busy conjuring up a way to kill her sister without leaving a shred of physical and traceable evidence—deleting her iTunes library, forgetting to pay the cable bill, burning a few Pink Floyd posters—that she didn't notice Elliot leading Lulu in the direction of the festivities.

The three of them tumbled into the heart of the matter. The Stabler backyard was alive with celebration—the hickory smell of the grill, the chorus of conversation, people squeezing in wherever they could.

"Who's this?" a blonde woman greeted them at the bottom of the wooden stairs. She waved a pair of tongs and smiled a smile that was trying to reach her eyes, but was failing miserably.

"Kathy, this is Casey Novak, our ADA, and her little sister Lulu. I told you about them, remember? Guys this is Kathy, my wife."

"Ah, of course," she laughed it off and turned her investigative gaze on Lulu. "Excited about your freshman year?"

Lulu just nodded and shrugged, dragging the toe of her converses through the healthy green grass. Without further ado she excused herself and made a beeline for the punch, afraid she was going to be trampled by the elephant in the yard.

Kathy soon followed suit, but only because her only son announced that the chicken was burning.

Novak and Stabler were alone. Novak and Stabler allowed themselves to marinate in silence. It seemed awkward, this newfound civility. Neither of them seemed comfortable in the neutral climate of Elliot's home life. However, Casey found herself, at the risk of sounding like a romance novel, honored that he would allow her near something he usually kept close to the chest.

"Thanks again for inviting us."

"No problem," he nodded, lowering his chin a bit. "So, how are things going…with you and Lulu, I mean?"

"We're both adjusting. We've had our...special…moments, but all and all she's been great. Still not used to praying for hot water and buying food every thirty seconds though. I swear that kid eats like food's gonna become obsolete."

He laughed a little and looked away at the football game his son and a few neighborhood boys had going a few feet away. "And your mom?"

"Signed over full custody and avoids me like she owes me child support. Oh wait, she does," Casey laughed uncomfortably and rubbed her arms. She glanced at her sister, who'd already submerged herself in a book. "I think that's the hardest part for Lulu. My mother was much more involved with her than she was with my brother and I. And even though she wasn't Joan Cleaver by a _long_ shot, she was still her mother, and then to just click her heals and…" she stopped talking and allowed herself a long, deep breath. A sheepish, lazy smile lifted the corners of her lips. "…and now you know why I spent most of my college years on the proverbial couch. On that informative, but extremely embarrassing note, I'm taking what little pride I have left and going to blackmail Lulu out of the shadows."

Elliot reached for her arm to stop her, but the sound of the birthday girl's voice brought it back to his side.

"Hey Dad," Elizabeth Stabler gave her father's shoulder a squeeze. She bounced a shy smile and a short wave in Casey's direction. "You're Ms. Novak right? We met at the basketball court that day."

"Yeah," Casey returned the smile. "Happy Birthday. At the risk of sounding old, how's it feel to be the big one-four?"

Lizzie shrugged. "Meh, feels like any other day I guess. It's not like I'm eligible to do anything like rack up the car insurance or vote for the next old guy to ruin the country. I already experienced the joy of being able to enter those contests on soda bottles last year so…I guess cake and hot dogs will have to suffice."

"Well, when you're my age you'll look back and you'll never want to do this again, so, make as many memories as possible to prove your future self wrong."

"I'll try. So, your sister…Lulu right? Dad said you were bringing her…"

Lizzie followed Casey's pale finger over to the girl making it her mission to go unnoticed. All big brown eyes and baggy jeans, Lulu had the book pressed to her face, just below her eyes, like a fan.

"She's a little shy," Casey felt the need to offer an explanation. "Maybe you can get her to branch out."

Lizzie nodded and shrugged, already starting in Lulu's direction.

The sun made her blue eyes look like two small oceans in the middle of her pale, freckled face. Her brown curls were tucked away from her face by a small clip. She was dressed like a stereotypical grassroots activist, in a grubby t-shirt and flared jeans that were entirely too long. The peace sign on her shirt had faded as if the idea had been put on the back burner.

"Lulu, right?" Blue Eyes said cheerfully. Her kindness seemed genuine and that instantly brought a level of comfort to the conversation.

"Yeah," Lulu lowered the book and brought her hand up to her eyebrow, shielding her eyes from the sun. "You're Elizabeth?"

"Only on paper. Those who value their limbs call me Lizzie."

"Nice to meet you," Lulu smiled politely and tucked her book into the pocket of her bulky hoodie. "So, uh, I guess a happy birthday's in order."

"Thanks."

Out of the corner of her eye, Lulu noticed her sister and Mr. Stabler examining them as though they were amebas in a pretri dish. Sighing, she pressed her back against the bark of the tree she'd made her fortress.

"They sent you over here to excavate me from my shell?"

"That about sums it up," Lizzie slumped next to her. "I figured I'd butter you up so you would slide out easier."

Lulu grimaced. "That was graphic."

"I read a lot of V.C Andrews in my formative years," Lizzie shrugged. "You're not mad are you?"

She shrugged. "Nah, Casey means well. She's just being a good sister."

Lizzie arched her brow at the detachment in her words. "You don't sound too happy about that."

Lulu pushed her bangs out of her face and waved her hand, though Lizzie couldn't tell if she was dismissing the idea or the conversation.

"Casey said you and Dickie are twins."

"We were born together and if wishes were horses there would be a stampede and he would die first."

Lulu laughed even though she felt a twinge of jealousy. She would've loved to have somebody her age around her entire life. Somebody who knew and understood what it was like to have the mother she did.

When she was little, Evelyn would sit her out like fine china, painting the illusion of a contemporary family. When she was older, Evelyn would manipulate and goad until her daughter would cave in—ultimately driving home that Lulu was just a pawn in her mother's twisted and ardent affair with power.

She didn't tell Lizzie any of that of course. She just turned her eyes onto the wooden picnic table with it's mantle of pastel wrapped presents and birthday cards wishing a daughter and niece and a sister and a cousin happy birthday.

Lizzie seemed to notice Lulu's invisible probe. "We're having separate birthday parties. Richard's is tomorrow. He's into the big birthday bashes and I like the tranquility of being surrounded by the radiating light of the sun and the love of the ones I hold dear. "

"No friends?"

"None," Lizzie conceded with a smirk and then nudged Lulu. "Until today, that is."

_The wall of your memory will echo your sorrow_

_The pictures of sadness are not what they seem_

_So hold out your smile take my hand and be happy_

_These pictures of sadness are not all they seem_

* * *

So, how was it? And it's my birthday so you have to be nice to me. It would be almost blasphemous if you weren't. Ha, if only life worked that way. :)

The lyrics above are by Jefferson Airplane and the song is _Ice Cream Phoenix_. I don't know if I'll make a playlist for this story, but if you'd like one, let me know.

Thanks for reading folks.


	2. Antithesis

**A/N: **Wow! Who knew this story would be so well received. Thank you ladies and gents. I sent you all review replies so please check your inboxes. Also, many thanks to the people who stuck this sucker (and me as a result of it) on their favorite and alert lists.

And, this chapter is dedicated to my pal **Vie **because she put me on a deadline. I didn't meet it, but without her (multiple) nudges, this chapter would have never been finished in a timely way. :)

* * *

**Chapter Two: Antithesis**

_Green-eyed lady, ocean lady_

_Child of nature, friend of man_

They had been having a late lunch, Olivia's idea, when Casey got the call. Elliot and Olivia watched her let out a succession of "uh-huhs" and "yeses" in response, dabbing neatly at the corners of her mouth with a napkin. It was funny the way people's true colors emerged during peak focus.

Elliot stared at the ADA, almost as if it were the first time, thinking how people never wallowed in the familiar or fully committed themselves to knowing and understanding what they saw day in and day out: especially colleagues. He shrugged and took a swig of his coke, he had been contemplating relationships a lot during the last few weeks. The tide rose and plummeted with his relationships at home and even with his partner. It was almost comforting to appreciate one of the few connections he had that wasn't overly complicated.

Casey was pretty, but in a tangible way, more intriguing than classically beautiful—like a Picasso. Where did he get that? He didn't know, nor did he want to, but it just fit. She just fit. That scared him sometimes and other times it was a welcomed distraction. Then his life and his responsibilities came billowing toward him and he always took a comfortable step back.

"How long?" Casey paused for the reply. "On my way." She flipped her cell phone shut and stood to her feet, smiling. "The jury's back in. Looks like we might have ourselves a conviction."

"Drinks later?" Olivia offered, already dropping a few bills on the glass table.

"I would, but the evening is promised to a certain thirteen year old reincarnation of Grace Slick. There's a documentary about the Summer of Love on PBS and Lulu practically begged me to watch it."

Elliot looked almost disappointed, information that Olivia filed away.

* * *

"How are things with Kathy?" Olivia asked over drinks that evening.

He gripped the green neck of his beer bottle and shrugged, though not out of indifference. There was a lack of understanding in his marriage. He sought solace in being dutiful, in being there. Either Kathy didn't appreciate that or it just wasn't enough. He was doing is best even though it left him feeling drained.

He didn't tell his partner any of this, but they both knew words often went unused and were equally unnecessary. As the compassion bubbled in her brown eyes, he found himself resenting her. He didn't want to be coddled. He wanted answers.

"I'm no priest Elliot," she took a swig of her beer and leaned back in the hard redwood chair with a light sigh. "I wish I knew what to tell you, to make everything better. That is, if you want it to get better."

"What?" he drew back a little bit and narrowed his eyes. She was getting at something. She was always doing that.

"Sometimes good things, they end. Why navigate a storm when you know you're going to drown? You're not happy and the way you talk about it, neither is she. Maybe it's time for you to bow out and move on."

"Well, Jimny Cricket, get off my shoulder and dance a little jig, why don't ya?" he rolled his eyes and plopped a hand full of peanuts in his mouth.

"Well since you started it: when your heart is your dream, nothing is too extreme."

He held up his beer in a mock toast. "Gives a new meaning to 'act your age and not your shoe size'."

They shared a laugh. It always comforts him to know that their laughter is in perfect harmony. Kathy's was always out of tune, echoing in the background. There are days that he wished he had taken the hint.

"Casey was at Lizzie's birthday party, right? Sorry I missed that one by the way. A friend from college flew in. Hadn't seen her since stone washed jeans were in style."

"She came and her kid sister tagged along. Nice kid, on the shy side though. Lizzie seemed to bring her out of her shell."

"That's always a plus, when the kids get along."

He nodded absently. He remembered Lizzie and Lulu lounging under the tree, giggling like the schoolgirls they were, shushing each other when outside eyes focused on them. There movements were almost fluid; each of the other, like they'd rehearsed them.

Casey seemed grateful. She hugged him afterwards, then stuttered out an apology—much to her sister's amusement—and whisked Lulu out the door. He wanted to tell her it was all right, that he really didn't mind. Kathy was watching though, her blue eyes like a doctor's looking for symptoms.

Olivia, with her all knowing intuition, smiled almost sadly. "I saw the way you looked at her today."

"Who?"

She gave him her best "bitch please, I know you like the back of my hand" stare and cleared her throat. "Novak."

"Uh…I thought you weaned yourself off romance novels."

"Like you've weaned yourself off happiness? You're so busy being responsible that you've forgotten your own needs. You know, you wear a mask so long you forget the face underneath. You should try to remember that."

* * *

Casey had a penchant for bright colored, interesting clothing. Lime greens, light blues, sometimes purple, and sometimes navy when people's retinas were lucky. Casey liked to live by her own rules, even when they got her in trouble. The only laws she obeyed were the ones that screamed at her from textbooks and the ones that several old men drafted some three hundred odd years ago. The laws of New York fashion seemed pointless to her sometimes.

Lulu knew all of this because when her sister drove, it was best to focus on anything but the road. Driving was like a moving version of pinball for that woman. She had to bump a few things and ring a few bells before she won anything. Speeding tickets were nothing to her and there were days when Lulu blamed her sister for the destruction of many a forest.

As the world sped by and the big buildings and loud noses were replaced with the grassy smells of suburban New York, Lulu wondered if she was a bump in her sister's life. Like something she had to knock out of the way before she moved on to bigger and better things. Maybe this was just a test run and when she got her real family, Lulu would just be another point of the board.

No, that would make Casey like Evelyn. And that was impossible.

"Have you ever attempted to drive the speed limit?" Lulu asked, feeling her breakfast doing the electric slide in her stomach. "Just to feel the grass on the other side?"

Casey peered at her behind her aviators and smiled. "Where's your sense of adventure, kid?"

"I puked it up when you drove up to Niagara Falls."

"Look, check in was in thirty minutes and we had almost fifty to go. A little speed never hurt anyone."

Silence.

"Do I detect a 'fuck you' look?" Casey wiggled her manicured brows.

"Why, of course not. I respect you entirely too much."

"Being raised by a lawyer, you would think you'd be able to lie better."

"Just because you get paid to be like our mother, doesn't mean_ I _have to activate her genes."

"Ouch," Casey grimaced. "Low blow with the Evelyn comparison. Do I compare you to Lolita?"

"No because that would be blasphemous, considering what you do to get your check signed. I mean, what would your boss think?" Lulu placed her hand over her sister's, which was shaking the gearshift like an arcade joystick. "I'm sorry. You're nothing like Evelyn. Far from it. You're the only person in this world that loves me and I don't want that to go away."

Casey sniffled, taken aback. "What makes you think that it would?"

"Nothing," Lulu removed her hand and returned her brown eyes to the collage of the highway outside her window.

Casey let to go and they arrived at Woodbury Common Premium Outlets in one piece.

* * *

"You know, color never hurt anybody."

Lulu scoffed and ran her fingers over the black cashmere sweater. "Says the woman who acts like sun is against her religious beliefs. I mean, you're so pale that astronomers wonder whether Venus rose early as you walk by."

"Nice, Tallulah. Really nice," Casey gave Lulu a light shove as she grimaced at the mention of her full name. She glanced at the price tag on the sweater her sister was already throwing into their basket. "Two hundred dollars?"

"It's Armani and it's on sale."

"I don't give a damn if Armani stitched it together for the sole purpose of making you look more like a permanent fixture at a funeral, it'll be a cold day in hell before I spend that much cash on something that's just gonna end up in your floor."

"If it was lime green you'd be making a schedule so we could share it."

"If it was tie-dyed, it would still stay on the rack."

"Fine," she hung it back up with an indifferent shrug and went on in search of another black piece of something almost fashionable, black as an ace of spades, to bring on the euphoria of going unseen.

"You're not mad are you?"

Lulu shook her head. "No."

"You get to have feelings you know. I won't go away if you do."

Lulu jerked her head up. "I know."

"My love isn't something you have to perform for. You can be who you are and I won't run away."

That earned her a smile.

"So, what's up with you and Mr. Stabler?"

"Besides our common phobia of paperwork and strong personalities, nothing."

"Too much explanation and you have on your jury voice, like you're trying to sell me. I know what I know about love would fit in a pill capsule, but I saw how he looks at you."

"Really?" Casey avoided her gaze and began making friends with a lime green trench coat. "And how was that?"

"Like you're a two hundred dollar sweater and he's in debt."

Lulu shrugged at her sister's silence and continued on her mission while Casey wondered if the adolescent's analysis was on the money.

Probably not. Lulu still believed Simon and Garfunkel would get over themselves and go on tour again.

_Green-eyed lady, passions' lady_

_Dressed in love_

_She lives for life to be_

_Green-eyed lady feels life I never see_

_Setting suns and lonely lovers free_

* * *

**A/N:** So, how am I doing?

And since **TVCrazed **so kindly asked: I created a tune list for this story as well. You can find the link in my profile.

The song of the moment is _Green Eyed Lady_ performed by Sugarloaf. It's on the list.


	3. Metamorphosis

**A/N: **Thank you for the kind, supportive feedback everyone. XD

* * *

**Chapter Three: Metamorphosis **

_There's something happening here_

_What it is ain't exactly clear_

Lulu loved her sister's hands most of all. They weren't small and dainty like Evelyn's, afraid to branch out because of judgment. They were soft and strong, with tiny veins running through them like streams. Casey's hands were so eloquent and she always used them to steer her words. They reminded Lulu of birds, gliding and waving through the air, constrained and erratic at the same time.

During her first week with Casey, Lulu couldn't sleep. She would stay up late and watch the shadows of the trees waltz with the shine of the streetlights across her ceiling. Casey took notice of her sister's anxiety driven insomnia and though it took some time, Lulu began to talk to her. Those talks turned into questions and those questions turned into stories and before either of them knew it, Casey was sitting on the edge of her sister's bed every night, reliving some sort of memory.

This time they were laughing.

"You fell in?" Lulu was still digging through her lungs, still searching for air.

"Right in front of Gage Anderson."

Lulu scrunched up her nose and groaned in disgust. "Gage Anderson? Oh come on, don't tell me _you_ dove head first into the cliché and fell in love with your high school's resident Fabio?"

Casey folded her arms in front of her chest and poked out her bottom lip. "I won't."

"Lemme guess, he pulled you out of the lake with his big, orange tanned arms and whisked you to safety, breathing life and his love through your lips on the sandy banks."

"What the hell do think this is? Harlequin? The guy damn near had an asthma attack laughing his ass off. Fortunately one of his friends saw me flailing like a decapitated chicken and came to my rescue. That was an interesting summer. Luckily for me, Fabio loved vodka more than ruining the lives of his adoring fans and the incident faded into a drunken stupor."

"And his friend?" Lulu reached out and started fiddling with the red beads on her sister's wrist. "What about him?"

Casey looked at the clock, realizing that time never stopped for stories. She found herself happy about that tonight. "Times up, Lu."

"Oh come on, it's only eleven," Lulu whined, releasing her grip on her sister's wrist and tucked her arms under her vintage RoboCop comforter. "Just a little more."

"A study says kids your age need at least eight hours of sleep in order for your bodies to function properly."

"Wow, when Evelyn hired you on as her replacement, you really took the job description seriously."

Casey recoiled a bit, though the lightness in her voice remained. "Is that what you think this is? A job?"

"I don't know. I mean, yeah, I think there's a part of you that wants me around. But you can't kid a kidder, Sis. You've been running from this family's baggage forever. You can't honestly sit there and say you don't resent Evelyn for dragging it back to your doorstep."

Casey's eyes softened and she reached over, swiping Lulu's surprisingly tamed bangs out of her face. She kissed the girl's head and pulled away, leaving a supportive hand on her shoulder. "You aren't baggage Lulu. You're my sister and I like having you around. This sure the hell isn't easy, but it is what it is and we're making the best of it."

"But you shouldn't have to put your life on hold to raise somebody else's mistake."

"You weren't a mistake."

"Oh come on, I'm thee definition of 'oops baby'. Look how much older you and Tripp are than me. You look up 'maternal mistake' and there's an eight by ten glossy of me with a scarlet M on my bib."

"I should've brought the streamers and the Fiona Apple to this pity fiesta."

Lulu allowed a microscopic smile to slip through the cracks and since Casey was always great with taking hints, she wrapped her long arms around her baby sister and ran the hands Lulu loved so much over the brown army of tangles."

"You're not responsible for our mother's choices any more than Tripp and I are. You're here, you're family, and I love you. My beef with Evelyn is with Evelyn and I don't plan on taking it out on you."

"From what I've learned, life is never planned."

"Where do you get that? Bravo? If you're this cynical about the world now, I don't know what'll happen when you start to date."

"Goodnight," Lulu disengaged herself from their embrace and the conversation, easing onto her mountain of pillows.

Casey stood up and moved for the door, flicking off the light on her way out.

Lulu shot up like a cork, bubbling and spilling out a litany of reasons as to why the light needed to remain on.

The bottle blonde leaned against the doorframe, arms folded and brows hovering slightly below her hairline. "Uh, the last time I checked, I didn't have stock in the electric company. I turned the light off in the middle of the night last night—after it had been on for hours. Not again. The light stays off."

"Can't you turn it off on the way to the bathroom or something?"

There was something in her voice. Nothing on her face because Lulu was good at that. She was her mother's daughter after all. That voice, like the rise and fall of an emergency siren, spoke volumes and still managed to say nothing. Casey didn't like that.

"All right," she didn't push. She just flipped the switch and closed the door.

* * *

_I think it's time we stop, children, what's that sound_

_Everybody look what's going down _

"Thanks again for the ride Mrs. Stabler," Lulu flung her backpack onto the empty seat next to her and closed the blue minivan's door. "I know it was out of your way."

"Please," Kathy waved off the thought and smiled at her through the rearview mirror. "It's not a problem."

"Did they mail you your schedule?" Lizzie asked, already thrusting hers in her new friend's direction.

Lulu accepted the thin paper and shook her head. "No, I have to pick mine up. I have to meet with a counselor, you know, because I'm new to the district."

"Try to get Ms. Morgan," Kathleen advised kindly from the back seat. "She was my freshman counselor and she's super supportive. She has tons of information and has an in with a lot of local college professors so she's definitely an asset for recommendations."

"Thanks," Lulu shifted around and shyly met the blonde's brown eyes.

"Don't mention it."

"So, where ya from? Lizzie said you didn't say much about that at the party," Dickie asked, though his kindness seemed almost rehearsed.

She shrugged. "Uh, not from anywhere really. Evel…my mom and I moved around a lot so home base was a lot of different places. I never got to know anywhere long enough to identify with it."

"What about school? They had those in whatever corner of the globe you were stationed on, right?"

"Yes and I went to a few. We were never there long enough for my face to register though. I had tutors most of the way."

"And where were you before you moved in with your sister?" this was from Kathy, who seemed more like a green beret on a reconnaissance mission than a curious family friend.

"Munich. We were in Munich."

"And you people complain about Dad's random interrogation sweeps?" Kathleen rolled her eyes and brushed a wisp of blonde hair from her oval face. "Give the kid air."

"Dickie's true calling is to be an investigative reporter or head of the reincarnated Gestapo, whichever is he equal opportunity employer," Lizzie whispered and shrugged her shoulders toward her brother, who had since remembered that pixel soldiers were far more entertaining than the little nomad next to him. "Apparently nosiness is passed through the maternal line."

Maternal lines seemed to cloud a lot of things. Lulu smiled an understanding smile in an oblivious Dickie's direction.

* * *

_Young people speaking their minds_

_Getting so much resistance from behind_

"It says here you like to be called Lulu Novak."

The esteemed Anne Morgan wasn't available. Apparently others shared Kathleen Stabler's assessment. Typical, Lulu thought as she avoided the dubious gaze of Alvin Tucker, everybody had beaten her to the support.

"That's right."

"Your name is Tallulah Abbot."

"Right again," she crossed her legs and uncrossed them, narrowed her eyes and widened them. "I prefer Lulu. While having my wit and sarcasm compared to the amazing Tallulah Bankhead is a great honor, sharing her given name is not."

"That's fascinating…Lulu," he looked up from the stack of forms and peered at her over the rim of his glasses. The lenses in them turned his brown eyes into two oily prunes. An exit needed to be made and quickly. "However, your legal last name is Abbot and it appears on all of your official documents. Legally, we aren't permitted to change that on our attendance records."

"I've never been one to waste my time with formalities. If you could just simply refer to me as Lulu Novak, I would appreciate it."

Mr. Tucker said nothing. "Fine. You're school ID and everything else will still list you as…"

"Thank you," she barreled ahead of him. It seemed like he enjoyed the sound of her name and that didn't sit too well. Or maybe that feeling belonged entirely to something else. It was always the plethora of "something elses" swimming in her brain that required her to dig down. Life was annoying. "May I go to class now?"

"Of course," he nodded and slid over her schedule. "The secretary will have your ID ready by lunchtime. Please pick it up. You'll need it to use the library and other school services."

She smiled politely and moved for the door.

"Welcome to Stuyvesant High School, Lulu. I'm confidant you'll go a long way," she heard him say before she slammed the door to his office.

* * *

_Paranoia strikes deep_

_Into your life it will creep_

_It starts when you're always afraid_

_You step out of line, the man come and take you away_

Elliot had offered to walk Casey to her car after she was attacked during Janis Donovan's morbid courtroom rendition of _Me, Myself & Irene_. They talked a little, laughed some. She touched his shoulder a few times, promising things would work out.

That was the problem with his life: it was constantly working out and it still sagged with fat, unhealthy chances. He would pull away, almost find a healthy routine and then—bam!—like the cruel inconsistency change was, something would pull his leash and he would be dragged back to square one. He was almost ashamed of himself for losing his will to kick and scream.

They stopped in front of the black sedan. A Jetta: practical, yet sleek and confident. It amused him they way people were in themselves in every single tidbit of their lives. He loved classic cars, the ones that were made before the drastic change in production, when cars were metal instead of plastic. Too bad they were gas-guzzlers.

She leaned against the passenger door, jiggling her car keys in one hand and gripped her overstuffed briefcase in the other. Her eyes had gone serious, her smile more like an embrace than anything else.

"How's Kathy? After…"

"I do everything in my power not to bring my work through that door. Somehow it always manages to burn down the walls and somebody I love always ends up in the ashes."

"I know you blame yourself, and I don't think you should, but I'm not going to stand here and make your emotions wrong. Emotions are never logical. Life doesn't stand on ceremony for anybody and our worst fears are even less civilized. We protect and protect and protect, but sometimes people just get hurt. And the blame and the anger and the sadness just eat at us until we don't see the point anymore."

They were silent for a time. Both weighing their worlds and the choices they had made in them. Their minds flicked to various results and even more maybes. They remembered a time when life was easy. They both were so skeptical that they didn't bother to wonder if easy would ever come back.

"I watched my wife and my unborn child's life fluctuate. The ball was in my court and then it wasn't. I wanted so badly to be in control and for a split second, I realized that I never had it. I've never truly presided over my life. It's all an illusion and this time I was lucky, I had a firm grip on the pendulum."

Casey said nothing and nodded. "The kids?"

"A little of everything. Maureen's been glued to Kathy's side. Kathleen doesn't want to know, which is understandable. Dickie's stoic to a fault and Lizzie's sarcasm doesn't always hide everything."

"I'll ask Lulu to be more of a shoulder. She's good at that."

Elliot nodded. "Thanks."

She smiled and walked around to the driver's side, unlocking the door and sliding in. "Goodnight."

* * *

"You're gonna rot in front of that TV," Casey declared when she walked into her apartment to find Lulu swearing at the screen and complaining about the arrogant, blind, pack of retards most people referred to as referees. "Bad call?"

"Damn skippy," she flung her Pepsi can at the tube, little caramel speckle's assaulting Casey's one of a kind and favorite beige couch. "It was pass interference all day long. Either that man's on more drugs than Tommy Chong or he's a cheating piece of crap. Whatever he is, he just robbed the Packers of a touchdown."

Casey shook her head and plopped down on the couch. "How long have you been home?"

"Three hours or so, I guess," she shrugged and took a swig of soda. She let out a satisfied "ahh" and slouched further against the fluffy cushions. "Kathleen gave me a ride. After everything that happened with that chick and her chorus of voices within, I figured I was kinda a third wheel."

Casey nodded and dug into Lulu's bowl of tortilla chips. "Homework done?"

"Yup."

"And school is…"

"…preparation for the banality of adult life?"

"Try again, only this time something positive."

"I'll take the 'next thing congress should ban' for five hundred, Alex."

Casey rolled her eyes.

"What? Life without the oppressive nature of the institution of education sounds like a positive thing to me."

"_Lulu…_"

"It has its ups and downs. Happy?" she yawned a little and stretched her arms. They weren't as long as her sister's, but Evelyn told her Casey matured late too. "Hey, uh, before I hit the sheets, I need to ask you something."

"Shoot," she flicked off the television and smiled.

"Busy on Friday, say around three?"

"I never know until the day tells me, you know that. Why?"

"Because I wanna start the first steps towards changing my last name and since you're my legal guardian, you're kind of required."

"Slow down there, Florescent Adolescent. You want to change what…why would you want to change your last name?"

"Uh…I have no connections to the Abbots except this very British surname? Check. My father is dead and I haven't met either of my half siblings in my entire life? Check."

"I understand that, but that Abbot name is going to provide you with a sizable college and trust fund when the time comes."

"It's not about the money. Talon Abbot, III is somebody else's memory and from what Evelyn let on, I'm just an intrusion. Why would I wanna hang onto that? And besides…" she took her sister's hand in her own, flopping it around like pizza dough. "…you're the only person in this world that has ever bothered to care about me. This is just my little way of sealing that connection."

"Why do I feel like you're reciting wedding vows?"

Lulu rolled her eyes and brought her hand back to her own lap. "I could've sworn I was the kid here."

"Lulu, listen, I'll think about it. It's late and it wouldn't be fair if I made this decision now, not after the screwed up day I've had. So get ready for bed and I'll be in there in a sec."

"All right," she shrugged and stood up.

"I really am going to think about it, Lulu."

She didn't turn around, just nodded, and headed for her room.

_We better stop, hey, what's that sound_

_Everybody look what's going down_

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks for reading ladies and gents.

The song of the chapter is _For What It's Worth_ sung by Buffalo Springfield. It's on the playlist.

And speaking of lyrics: there is yet another poll in my profile. Please take it and give me your honest answer. :)

'Til next time folks! XD


	4. Albatross

**A/N:** A lot of people have been asking me to update this, so, here it is. Thanks for the wonderful feedback everyone. You know it's always loved and appreciated. :)

* * *

**Chapter Four: Albatross**

_October 2007_

The air around Stuyvesant High School was hot and dry. Lulu's hair—a purée of curls and hair clips—was flat as a flounder, and she was burning up in her black hoodie. The black Jetta jerked to a stop next to her, upsetting a pile of fall leaves and city dust. The passenger side window eased down.

"Hey you."

Lulu grinned. She threw her backpack in the truck an opened the passenger door. Frigid air reeking of Burger King snaked into her nose. A sultry voice crooned somber, poetic love from the radio, and Lulu peered into the back where boxes of files and Casey's briefcase were sloppily strewn about.

"I got you chicken fries and an Icee," Casey tossed the greasy bag in her sister's lap and dashed away from the curb.

"Suhweet! Thanks," she dug into the bag with glee, producing a crispy piece of trans fat joy, which she immediately devoured of course. After taking a dramatic sip of red dye number forty, she turned her brown eyes toward the driver's seat. "How was work?"

Casey reached over and adjusting the volume on the radio, she poked her bottom lip out, contemplating rather not she should deflower Lulu's virgin little ears with the dastard details of her day. She locked up a boy, not much older than her little sister, for raping his teacher. His teacher. Lulu had those. High school had teenage boys. She understood Elliot Stabler a little better then. It was a wonder his girls weren't sporting trendy chastity belts.

The world was a violent, sinister place, a place that Lulu had been brought into. Lying to her about the state of it would do her no good. Fabricating life, weaving syrupy sweet fairy tales was a perilous road to travel. Lies never end well, even the ones of the white variety.

It was funny how raising a teenager had turned her into a philosopher.

"You really need to get satellite radio. This mainstream transmission with its pompous windbag of a DJ so doesn't capture the sheer magic that is classic rock."

"Lulu?"

"What?"

"Close your mouth when you chew."

"Sorry," she grinned sheepishly and swallowed quickly. "So, work, you didn't tell me how it was."

"It was…stressful."

"I can imagine. Spending time amongst the dregs of humanity can cause mental and emotional strain. I'm sure being in close proximity to a certain detective made it all better."

Casey frowned. "He's married."

"So! This is America, Senior Sibling. The divorce rate is what, fifty percent? This time next year the two of you will be living happily ever after."

"Wow, I love how you don't blink an eye when you talk about me ripping apart your best friend's family."

Lulu shrugged. "What can I say, I'm half Evelyn. Besides, there's a therapy boom. Lizzie could find a great one at a stellar price."

"And the discussion revolving around my love life disintegrates…now. So, how was school? And don't give me some macabre rendition of _Ferris Bueller's Day Off."_

"Twas all right, I suppose. Got an "A" on my Biology exam."

"Well look at you," Casey ruffled her sister's hair as soon as she stopped at a red light. "What do you say, celebration Thai take out?"

"Make it Indian and you're on."

"Deal."

An hour later Casey and Lulu sat in front of _Entertainment Tonight._ Casey's day had been long and dry and unwinding was numero uno on her list of things to do. Lulu was feeling talkative and was full of commentary and drollery. The kid wanted to engage her in ideas, scathingly sarcastic ones, and Casey wanted to finish her beer and burn the mound of files on the coffee table.

"All I'm saying is," Lulu swallowed too much Chicken JalFrazi and compensating with a gulp of Spirt, she continued. "There's a war going on, ya know? Gas is like sixty thousand bucks a gallon, we have a shit brain for a president, and I dunno maybe news shouldn't consist of how much—insert food phobic star here—earned from her last flick? I mean seriously, do they honestly think we care?"

"Can you rebel against media monstrosities later? What channel is the Jets game on?"

"ESPN and if we're watching any football, we're watching the Packers and the Bears," she frowned and checked the clock on the cable box. "Which starts in ten minutes so fork over the remote. And are you gonna let me finish my idea?"

"I'd rather watch the Packers."

"You sure know how to hit where it hurts," Lulu grimaced. She flipped around for a while and returned to _ET_, peeved and disappointed. "It's airing on one of those sports channels, you know the ones that come with those fancy channel packages." She turned her puppy dog brown eyes on her very unimpressed sister. "Can we get one?"

"Can you get a job?" Casey nudged her sister and took a swig of her beer. "Why _are_ you such a Packers fan, anyway?"

Lulu fidgeted and stroked the bangs at her temple. "Evelyn says my father was a Packers fan," she said softly.

"He was," Casey said evenly.

"I thought you were living with your dad, you know, when they were married?"

Casey took a quick sip of beer. "I moved back in with Dad after Tallon's death."

"Did you know him?" she sounded almost excited, anxious even. "Evelyn's told me some stuff, but she isn't exactly objective."

"I'm not either."

"Oh." She nodded, and then ducked her head. Her eyes darkened with an emotion that Casey couldn't identify. "He didn't…"

"No! No, of course not. He was your classic dickwad stepfather, but he never hurt me."

"Oh, good," she smiled and laughed. "Evelyn knows how to pick 'em."

"She found a good man in my dad."

"Yeah? That's probably why she left him."

"That's exactly why she left him. Dad wasn't anybody's patsy, not to mention he didn't have the juice to finance her blue blood fantasy."

"Hmm. Hey, do you think I could meet your dad? Since I'm trying to commandeer his last name, it would be nice to know the dude behind it."

"I usually go to him for Thanksgiving. I'll call him. Maybe I can get him to come here."

"So you're letting me…"

"We'll start the process as soon as things at work calm…"

She didn't have time to finish her sentence. Lulu's arms were around her in an instant, holding her with an urgency that neither could understand. Casey felt her sobbing, though she made no sound. Casey just held her and when Lulu's head collided with her chest, she just listened to her breathe.

* * *

"My father's cousin owns this place," he smiled as he held the door open for her. "Food isn't spectacular, but it's free and the coffee's decent."

The Daily Grind was a small diner, a few blocks east of Belleview. Casey and Elliot walked there, mostly in silence, after he sensed her need to relax. The décor was old, but it was well cared for. A few doctors sat in the back of the place, still in scrubs and nursing coffee. A mechanic in uniform and two suit and ties sat at the counter, laughing and talking with the waitress. They were all probably regulars, Casey sensed, and they had probably been so for quite awhile.

Casey smiled at him and Elliot inclined his head before stepping inside. He let out a long breath and she had the feeling he wanted to say more, but decided against it. His eyes were curious and friendly, eager even. There was something boyish about him early that morning and Casey found it slightly endearing.

"El!" a young man pushed through the wooden double doors that separated the kitchen from the dining area. Brown haired and brown eyed, he was boyishly good-looking. His hair was shaggy, a few strands peaking out of his hairnet. Smiling, he slapped his hand on the detective's shoulder. "What brings you here so early?"

"Needed a bite," Elliot shrugged. He shrugged his shoulder toward Casey. "This is Casey Novak, my unit's ADA. This is Duane Stabler, my cousin."

"Charmed," he winked as he shook her hand. "So, I'll get you guys seated. It's on the house, but you already know that."

"Still in school?" Elliot asked as he plopped into a both near the picture window.

"My next class is at eight," he glanced at the leather watch on his arm. "In four hours, unfortunately. "So, when's the baby due?"

Elliot smiled. "Couple of weeks."

Duane nodded and placed their menus in front of them. "Have a look at those and I'll be back. It was nice meeting you Ms. Novak."

"Thanks," Casey peered at Elliot over the top of her menu. "You know, for everything."

"Not a problem. Everybody blows their top at some point. Just a part of the job."

"Yeah," she said. She absently began fiddling with the salt shakers, leading them to each other before abruptly breaking them apart. "I made a decision for somebody and I broke them."

"You didn't know…"

"Exactly," she interrupted. "I didn't try to find out either. I blindly sent a teenage boy into a life-threatening situation. Not knowing is a cock and bull excuse."

"You prosecuted a rapist and you prosecuted him fairly. What happened to him wasn't your fault. That warden you manhandled, that's a horse of another color."

"I made a decision to protect one person and it ended up costing another a great deal," she knocked down the salt and watched the tiny pieces trickle onto the table's red surface. "Tell me, where's the justice in that?"

* * *

After school Lulu and Lizzie were sprawled out on the latter's bedroom floor, cramming for a physics exam. Casey was gone when Lulu woke up and she had yet to call, not even her cell phone. Lulu called her office and the secretary was nice enough, letting on that her sister had been in and she would have the ADA call her as soon as possible. Of course Casey never did, but according to Lizzie, that was the way at SVU.

"How are force and acceleration related," Lizzie asked.

"Directly proportional," Lulu groaned out, absently taking a bite of the peanut butter cookie's Kathy had brought up.

"Man up, okay?" Lizzie squeezed her shoulder. "She'll come."

"I know," she shrugged and glanced at her notes. "The net force from two distinct forces is at a maximum when the angle between them is?"

"Zero. She probably got called in to issue an impromptu warrant and things got busy from there. That's how it is over there, ya know? She probably hasn't had a chance to use her phone."

"It's cool. So, three forces, each separated from one another by 120 degrees yield a net force of 0. What can be said about the magnitude of the forces?"

"They're all equal," Lizzie slammed her book on her bed, causing their papers and notebooks to scatter to the floor. "Do you always hide your emotions?"

"Do you always let yours control your life?" Lulu asked evenly, stooping down to retrieve her notes.

"You keep them balled up inside and they'll explode."

"Look," Lulu sat her things back on the bed and folded her arms in front of her chest. "Casey didn't have to take me in. She could've told Evelyn to fuck off and die and went on living her life the way she wanted. She changed who she was for me, okay? The least I can do is suck it up when she forgets to call."

"Lulu," Kathy Stabler's voice bounced off the lilac walls of her daughter's bedroom. "Your sister's here."

"See," Lulu stuffed everything into her backpack in record time. Bouncing off of the bed, she swung open the door with a triumphant grin. "Told you she'd come."

So, naturally Tallulah Abbot was surprised when the woman waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs was not Casey Novak.

**A/N: **So, I decided to stop using songs for the chapters of this story. I may change my mind for further chapters, but for now, they've been 86ed.

Thanks again for tuning in folks.


	5. Unity

**A/N: ** I'm back and a lot sooner than usual. Thanks for the amazing reviews everyone. I'll try to keep this from being forgotten, really.

Oh and **Vie,** I'm not the Packers fan, Lulu is. :D So don't disown me!

* * *

**Chapter Five: Unity**

The foreign arms wrapped around her with such intimacy and vehemence that Lulu found herself wanting to return the hug. And she would have, if her mind hadn't already convinced her that the woman was a serial killer or broker of child prostitutes. The stranger, seemingly unaware of the pernicious influence of her presence, released Lulu, but kept her hands on the girl's shoulders like a vise.

"Hello Tallulah," she smiled slowly. Her sonorous voice was scratchy, like radio static. "Look at you! Why, you're all grown up."

"Tallulah?" Kathy scrunched up her nose. "I thought…"

"It's a rather unfortunate name, isn't it?" the woman interrupted, tossing Kathy a haughty grin. Her brown eyes were cautious, and there was a set in her jaw that evinced determination and a steel mind. "We tried to talk her mother out of it, but she's a stubborn one. Never listened to anybody, but I suppose you know that, Tallulah."

"What I don't know is who you are," Lulu slit her eyes and stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jeans. Fifteen seconds ago, she would've laughed off the idea of being miffed at an insult directed at Evelyn. Yet from this woman, who seemed to be suffering from a severe case of Locust Valley lockjaw, even Evelyn deserved protection. "Care to alleviate that problem?"

"Well," she tapped a manicured finger on her chiseled cheekbone. "I'm Tatum Abbot, everybody calls me Tate. Talon Abbot's my father and that," and with a motherly swipe of Lulu's bangs, she added: "Makes us sisters."

"You have brown hair," Lulu declared slowly, gradual recognition coming to a boil in her eyes. She frowned, as if Tate's bottle blonde locks were too bright for her. "Naturally, anyway. Like mine. I saw a picture of you once, in Talon's obituary."

"I thought it was time for a change, you know?" she patted her blonde pixie cut and grinned. She pushed her wildly au courant bangs from her face for good measure. "So you do remember me?"

"You're somebody else's memory," Lulu shrugged. "Evel…" She suddenly became aware of Kathy Stabler, who had been watching them with a juror's eye "My mom's memory, in fact."

Tate's eyes seemed to darken, but she brightened them quickly. "So, Evelyn's told you about your other family?" she exaggerated the 'other', as if the Abbot grass was greener. "Good I hope."

"It's my mom," Lulu had become blasé to the Hell that was Evelyn, apparently her "sister" hadn't had enough exposure.

Tate dug up her brow. "I suppose you're right."

"I hate to interrupt the family reunion," Kathy said, finally managing to acquire the simple definition of the matter. "Lulu has a test tomorrow and she should be studying. Since Casey didn't mention anything about you stopping by…"

"I know this is quite impromptu and I sincerely apologize for being so brazen," she purred in her mid Atlantic accent. "I'm here on business and I got word that Tallulah was in town. I've been dying to meet her…"

"Continue dying," Lulu snapped, easing her backpack off her shoulders. She shuttered at her tone. She knew better than to let her emotions get the best of her, especially in the presence of strangers. "I haven't heard a word from you my entire life. Why now?"

"Your mother whisked you off to Europe when you were a baby and we both know she can hold a grudge. I wanted to meet you on neutral ground, get to know you without your mother skulking in the shadows."

Her answer was honest and cogent for its brevity, and Lulu believed her. Evelyn had horrible things to say about Talon Abbot the father and the shrewd little strumpet he called a daughter. She didn't have much to say about Talon Abbot the grandfather or the son for that matter. Tate hadn't mentioned her brother either and Casey's tongue never orbited over Planet Abbot without Lulu at the helm. Maybe he was the reason she'd been kept away from Tate and the rest of those of Abbot extraction. Maybe her sib would come down with blabbermouth and spill the beans.

"Oh," Lulu smiled thinly. "How'd you know I was here and I don't mean in New York?"

"I had my driver follow you."

Lulu inclined her head incredulously. "I've been here for three hours."

"Yes of course," Tate cleared her throat. "I was a little apprehensive. As you pointed out, I've been absent your entire life. I wasn't sure how you would receive me," she gave her dainty hands a graceful little clap and smiled a warm smile that seemed unnatural. "But that's about to change. I want to get to know you Tallulah. I understand your mother's left you in this big city with a sister you barely know. That must have been a traumatic experience…"

"I manage," Lulu mumbled. In a louder voice she tossed: "And you came to play Mary Poppins and carol my troubles away?"

"I came to be your big sister," she resumed. She tilted her head in a motherly way, appraising Lulu as if she were a newborn baby. "I always wanted a little sister, even as a little girl. So what do you say, huh? Shall we have our first big sister little sister lunch?"

"I don't think that's such a good idea. Casey…"

"No," Lulu interjected quickly. "It's fine. I'd love to have lunch with you, Tate." She fastened her equable brown gaze on Mrs. Stabler. "Thanks for having me. I'll call Casey, but if she doesn't check her messages and shows up, tell her to head home and I'll meet her there."

Before Kathy could offer another word of protest, the front door slammed with a jolting finality.

* * *

"Gone? What do you mean she's gone?" An hour later, Casey Novak was pacing the Stabler living room in a fractious fog, her cell phone gripped tightly in her left hand.

"She said she called you," Kathy pursed her lips and folded her hands in her lap, her voice measured and tight.

Casey was fuming. "So you just let her go?"

"She went to lunch with her sister. Tate Abbot, she said her name was. She just showed up for a mini reunion. Lulu was a little skeptical at first, but she seemed eager to take Tate up her offer to spend time together. Besides, before I could shape my lips to convince her otherwise, she'd already gone."

Casey stopped pacing. "Did you say Tate Abbot?"

"Yes," Kathy replied tentatively, arching her brow at the younger woman's sudden pallor. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Casey coughed and relaxed the grip on her cell phone. Flipping it open, she clumsily mashed the buttons. After a beat, she groaned and resumed her pacing. "She isn't answering her cell, straight to voicemail."

"I'm sure she's in a dead zone," Kathy shot off a reassuring smile, but it completely missed its Target.

Casey frowned. "Lulu doesn't know that woman from a hole in the sky. What possessed you to allow her to leave with a stranger?"

"One more time," Kathy snapped, rising to her feet, though her ever growing midsection tried to put a damper on her plans. "Lulu wasn't uncomfortable. She wanted to go and I couldn't stop her."

Casey stopped pacing again. A brumal chill cantered up her spine. "I have to find her."

Kathy hesitated a moment. "Don't you think you're overreacting? She's her sister."

Casey shook her head and grimaced.

"She said after lunch she'd head home," Kathy glanced wryly at the ADA. "If you leave now, you'll probably beat her."

Grabbing the coat she'd draped over the armchair by the door, Casey Novak rushed out like a freshly released convict.

* * *

"So your responsible for those horrible drug commercials," Lulu took a bite of her burger and slouched against the cool leather of 50s style diner. Tate insisted on less…primitive…dining accommodations, but Lulu didn't trust her yet. Johnny Rocket's was cheap, but more importantly it was a nanosecond from her house. If Tate turned out to be a Park Avenue version of Aileen Wuornos, her escape wouldn't be a difficult one. "You know the ones that make the medicine sound Nobel Peace Prize worthy in one breath and then yaps on at warp speed about the side effects that make you puke out your gull bladder?"

Tate shook her head and picked at the pile of fries on to her plate. She picked it up and held it to her brown eyes, inspecting it like a UN weapons official. Her lips, shaped like lotus petals, had formed a childish moue. "Couldn't we have gone some place more…edible?"

"Not my nickel."

"I told you this was my treat," she half groaned, half laughed. Her patience, thin as her hair, was breaking off at the edges.

Lulu shrugged, plopping a fry in her mouth. "And I told you," her voice was flat and barren as a desert. "I don't take charity."

She tilted her head and studied her little sister like a profit report infested with numerical discrepancies. Her sprightly eyes bedimmed with aggravation, aggravation which she surprisingly left unchecked. Her smile, now a thin razor sharp line, lacerated Lulu's resolve. The girl bled out a shiver. Tate's smile widened.

"We're family, Tallulah."

"My name is Lulu."

"No," Tate shook her head, her smile unwavering. "Your name is Tallulah Barlow Abbot. Barlow was Grandma Isabella's last name. Daddy adored her when he was alive. And he would've adored you too. He would've wanted us to be close, our family united."

"And you have to call me Tallulah in order for this U.N.I.T.Y to take place?"

Tate laughed, her hostility fading—slightly. "It's your name. You're an Abbot. Lulu Novak, that's just a fantasy. It isn't who you are, who you were born to be."

Lulu gulped down the urge to jab her fork into the broad's mascara defined eyes. Tate wanted something and she wanted it bad. Losing her cool would give Tate the upper hand and that would definitely seal her pecunious little pipes.

"How did I know about your identity crises?" Tate shrugged, her brown eyes nonchalant. "Like I said, you're family."

"I take it the Abbots are equipped with their own unit at Homeland Security."

"Or they know your older brother," Tate grinned. "When's the last time you talked to Trip?"

Lulu inwardly stiffened at the mention of Evelyn's only son. Trip was pretty honest, for an Evelyn spawn anyway, and he never once mentioned any relationship with the Abbots—and Lulu had asked, often.

"He talks to Casey more than me," Lulu took a sip of her soda. "They're close you know, age wise."

Tate nodded condescendingly. "It doesn't bother you that Casey's sharing your little secrets?"

"No," Lulu narrowed her eyes as though she were struggling to see through darkness. "Something tells me you want it to."

Tate shook her head and the Cheshire cat pawed at her lips, curving them into her own trademark grin. "No, of course not. Casey's your family and I'm not here to change that. We're sisters Tallulah and I want you to be happy."

"I think you're gassing me up on this "united family" crap so I'll be too high to notice whatever scheme you're cookin' up."

To Lulu's surprise, Tatum Abbot actually looked offended. "Were you always this paranoid or did you take lessons?"

"Lessons," Lulu grinned for the first time. Through the diner's window, Lulu could see Tate's toothy emblem nestled against her own lips. For a nanosecond, she felt like an Abbot. It was almost…invigorating. "My mother got out of dodge and whisked me off to Europe for a reason. Evelyn doesn't tuck her tail between her legs and hide under tables, not without probable cause."

Tate just nodded, her eyes evincing nothing but a listening ear.

"And if you're so chummy with my brother, you've had to know where I was and how long I was there. So, Tate, why here and why now?"

"I explained my reasoning earlier."

"Too convenient."

"If that's how you feel," Tate rose to her dainty little feet, dropped a twenty and a business card on the table, and eased out of the booth. "I'll be in town another three days. My cell's on my card. Call me or don't, it's your choice."

As Lulu watched her leave and step into the black town car, she fiddled with the sturdy stationary. Tatum Abbot, marketing director of Abbot Pharmaceuticals, was proving to be more trouble than Lulu could or should handle. Lulu smiled, all the more reason she would give her big sister a call.

* * *

"I could put out an APV," Elliot offered from Casey Novak's couch. He'd gotten home early to an upset Kathy, who irritably updated him on Tate Abbot's visit and Lulu's subsequent AWOL, and the knowledge that Lulu had left her cell phone on Lizzie's bed. He'd come to drop it off, only to find the ADA pacing and cursing like a father outside a delivery room.

"You say that like you're kidding," she laughed and handed him the beer she'd gone to fetch. "But I know you're actually serious."

His eyes dimmed. "What was she thinking?"

"She wasn't," Casey sighed and eased down on the couch next to him. She smiled ruefully. "Deep down, Lulu just wants to be important to and loved by somebody. She's using her emotions instead of that brain of hers. Can't knock the kid, she got that from me."

"From you?" he twisted the cap off his beer and took a manly gulp.

"From me," she nodded. "Lulu was phlegmatic when she showed up on my doorstep. Still is in a way, you know, just kinda goes along for the ride. I got her to open up a little. She's less terrified of her feelings, but it comes in spurts. Tate's…emotional…visit probably triggered her abandonment issues and instead of over thinking like she always does, she just let go and let the universe."

"Yeah, well, the universe and its little minions are cold. She can't just go walking off with any Tom, Dick, and Harriet that spews a syrupy speech. She could get hurt."

Casey nodded and slouched slightly against the cushions.

"When's Kathy due?" she changed the subject. Somehow discussing her twisted family history didn't strike her as the right conversation. Then again, looking at him in that snug black t-shirt, conversation wasn't what she had in mind. Then again, asking about his pregnant wife while imagining the two of them engaging in the antecedent event...

She swallowed. She was over thinking. Little Lulu had influenced her big sister as well.

"About a month."

Casey smiled. "Babies, you know, they change everything."

He looked at her, hard. "Yeah."

* * *

Lulu walked home blindly and with violent speed. There was a new urgency to her gait and her head throbbed when it wandered in the direction of an answer. She couldn't wait to get home to Casey and spill the beans, but not so deep down, Lulu wanted this—whatever it was—with Tate to herself. Though Tate had an agenda, Lulu felt a sense of gratitude and a connection to and with her new sister. Tate had begun filling a hole, one so deep that neither Casey nor their mother could fill.

Talon Abbot Jr and his cousin Richard Abbot started Abbot Pharmaceuticals two years after wrapping up med school at the University of Pennsylvania. Both with expertise concentrated in medical research, the two cousins were on the front lines of the polio vaccine and several innovative discoveries concerning medical technology. Upon her grandfather's death, Lulu's father Talon Abbot III had taken the reigns of CEO, and now her brother; Talon IV sat behind the desk. Tate was making waves as their marketing director and a few cousins were working on projects of their own. Their headquarters was based in Chicago. Tate and Talon were residents of the windy city and had been for many years.

Tate invited her for the summer, promising fun and reunions and dreams only celluloid could deliver. There wasn't enough trust yet and Lulu got the distinct feeling that Tate wasn't too fond of Casey. Lulu would never turn against Casey Novak for anything or anybody, Abbot or not.

The door was unlocked when she arrived, which could only mean…

"Well it's about fucking time!" Casey swore, slamming in overstuffed manila folder on the floor of the living room. Papers splashed out, like angry waves, and Lulu threw her hands in front of her face to avoid the shower. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Hello Casey, how was your day?" Lulu blinked. The two stared at each other before Lulu rolled her eyes and eased her heavy backpack onto the floor, top of of the maze of multicolored paper. She looked down, arched her eyebrow, and shrugged. "Nice mess you made. Newfangled nonsense _and_ it's colorful. Yoko Ono would be pleased."

Casey gritted her teeth. "I am in no mood for your sarcastic routine so stow it!"

"What's got your Vikki Secrets in a twist," at Casey's razor-edged glare, Lulu stiffened, almost afraid. "What did I do?"

"What did you do?" What did you do?" she laughed incredulously and backed away. She tucked her hands in her pockets, for Lulu's safety of course. "You left the Stablers without my permission and took off who knows where with some stranger! What were you thinking Lulu?"

"Apparently I wasn't," she fiddled with the ends of her ponytail.

"No fucking shit," Casey snapped and started pacing like a drill sergeant inspecting a line of rusty cadets. Her delicate jaw was a raw line as she paced back and forth, like a pendulum. She'd been out of her mind! Didn't Lulu understand what was at stake, what kind of people festered in the world?

"How could you be so stupid?" she demanded. "Why didn't you think?" She didn't wait for her to answer. "Tatum could've been anybody off the street and so what, she says she's your long lost big sister looking for a bonding experience so you grab your coat and hit the road? I let you have independence because I trust you, because you're smart and you think fast on your feet. What you did today, well, I'm not so sure."

Lulu was no longer a part of the conversation and Casey didn't seem to notice. Lulu had a way of taking refuge inside her mind. She could close herself off and erase the world around her. She couldn't see, she couldn't hear, and most importantly she couldn't feel.

"Look at me," Casey was standing in front of her now, her voice loud and hard as steel. Lulu did as she was told, fighting to keep the fear out of her eyes. Casey had been mad at her plenty of times, but this red faced, Steven King's "It" lookalike was a new side of her sister. Lulu never thought she could or would ever have to be afraid of Casey.

"I was worried about you Lulu," her voice softened, but her eyes hadn't. "This is a big city with dark corners and darker people. This place eats girls like you for breakfast. I just don't wanna see you get hurt."

She gave a sharp nod and she would've left it there, but Lulu was still half Evelyn and like Casey and their mother, Lulu could belabor a point. Squaring her shoulders, she managed: "She's my sister, not a stranger. I called and left a message on your cell. Mrs. Stabler knew who I was with and what we were doing. I'm sorry I worried you, but I think you're blowing this way out of proportion."

"Lulu, the Abbots aren't some prime time sitcom family. The less you know about them, the better."

"For who?"

Casey frowned. "What?"

"For who? You had a family with your dad and your stepmother. I had nobody, nothing close to a family. You've given me so much of what I've missed and now Tate wants to fill in blanks that you can't. Why is it better for me if I know absolutely nothing about my father's family?"

"Lulu, I'm asking you to trust me…"

Lulu held up her hand to stop her. "Based on what? She's my sister too Casey. A few months ago you were just a Christmas card and a call on my birthday. Look at where we are. Why can't I have that with Tate?"

"I've never lied to you before, Lulu."

"I know."

"Then trust me. Stay away from Tatum Abbot."

"I don't understand…"

"No, you don't," she didn't sound angry, but like a wife begging a surgeon to operate on her dying husband. Your life's unraveling and you don't even know it yet."

Lulu opened her mouth to speak, but instead stepped around her sister and in the direction of her bedroom.

"Don't you think you were a little hard on her?"

Casey jumped, having completely forgot a certain male detective was lounging comfortably on her couch. "Not exactly coffee table chatter."

"I've got for teenagers, Casey. Nothing I haven't seen or heard."

"Yeah, well, you being privy to my warped family wasn't supposed to be on that list."

"Well it is and for the record," he sat his beer on a coaster and stood to his feet. "You can talk to me anytime. Need an ear, I've got two."

She smiled genuinely and walked him to the door. "Thanks."

He nodded, smiling, though there was no trace of it in his voice. "Mothers, you know, they complicate our lives."

Casey smiled inwardly. She'd always known Elliot was as multifaceted as he was telegenically sexy, but apparently he had a knack for understatements.


	6. Shadow

**A/N**: I'm back and I come with a real chapter! I want to thank everyone for the supportive and extraordinary reviews. Thanks for sticking around during my many gaps in updating!

* * *

**Chapter Six: Shadow**

Elizabeth Stabler leaned against her locker, gripping her Physics book to her chest, laughing with Manny Anselmetti, a junior on the varsity basketball team and a proud owner of an unfortunate man-perm. Lizzie seemed to like him, though Lulu knew her best friend was quite the little actress. She stuffed her books in her locker after exchanging them for the few she needed, only to miss Lizzie and her knight in shining hair products part ways.

"Shut up."

Lulu laughed, slamming her locker shut and reapplying her glitter-ridden combination lock. "I didn't say anything."

Lizzie narrowed her eyes. "You never do."

"So, gonna tell me what you and Soul Glo were giggling over?"

"First of all, I don't giggle. As Lewis Carroll so eloquently coined in _Through the Looking Glass, _I chortle."

"Forgive me, darling," Lulu produced her finest faux British accent, as only Madonna could deliver. "What were you and the good sir _chortling _over?"

"If you must know, Lady Upsnott, we were discussing favors."

"Not favors of the Monica Lewinsky variety, right? Because then I'd have to impeach your virtue and that would be—"

"Lulu?"

"Huh?"

"Say nothing else."

"Okay seriously, what favors? And before you go into graphic detail, be advised of my weak stomach."

"Would it kill you to act your age and not your shoe size?"

"Would it kill you to finish the story?"

"I let him copy me on the biology test."

Lulu stopped short of the door leading to the front steps. Shaking her head, Lulu offered a response true to her character: "Congratulations, Elizabeth Stabler, you fail at life."

"Aren't you gonna ask me why?"

"Umm, I assume it's because you're letting your hormones get the best of you or you have no taste in men…"

"Ehhhh…_wrong! _ I did it for my brother."

"Try again."

"No, really, I sacrificed my integrity for my brother's ego. At the behest of our father, the one I shared a womb with is vying for a space on the varsity basketball thing. His obsession with our father's approval must've skipped me during the splitting of the egg because I could care less, but it's important to him. Anyway, seeing as how Soul Glo's led the team to two championships, he's got some juice with the coach. I keep him off the bench by making him look like a functioning retard and he gives my brother a chance to shine."

"Dare I say it, you have a soft spot for your brother."

Lizzie shrugged. "At the end of the day, he's still my brother."

The notion of family loyalty seemed to come up a lot lately, Lulu noticed. Tate's declaration of familial fidelity, while extremely suspicious, plucked her strings and the music of belonging filled her heart and clouded Lulu's judgment.

"You're thinking."

"I do that."

"Yeah, too much. What is it this time?"

"My sister."

"Maternal or paternal?"

"Paternal. She's in town for a few days and she wants to get to know me."

Lizzie scoffed. "For what?"

"Gee, I dunno, because we share DNA?"

"No," Lizzie waved the idea away. "I mean, in exchange for what? My mom says you couldn't melt ice cubes off that chick's ass and if I know anything, those kind of people always want something in return for acknowledging your humanity."

"It's not like I don't know that. In fact, my vibes are telling me she wants something and whatever it is, I won't like it. Like you said though, at the end of the day Tate's my sister and I wanna know her."

Lizzie pushed open the doors and the relaxed fall sun licked their faces. She waved at her mother when the mini-van washed up in front of the school. "There's my mom. Look, you coming or not?"

"Not."

"Sometimes you do what ya gotta."

As she watch her best friend disappear into the sea of awaiting parents, Lulu pulled her cell phone from her pocket and dialed Casey's number.

* * *

Elliot Stabler swaggered into her office as if he deserved to be there.

"To what do I owe this visit?" Casey asked nonchalantly the moment he closed the door.

He faced her with a frown. "Like you don't know."

She groaned, activating her self-control. "If I weren't so concerned about my blood pressure, you and I were about to have a really big argument."

"Let's say we throw caution to the wind." As if he had an invitation, he eased himself into one of the visitor's chairs and loosened his tie a bit. "I need that warrant Casey." He stretched his arm along the leather upholstery.

"Where's Olivia?"

"At the scene."

"Why aren't you with her?"

"Unlike you, compromising this investigation isn't on my to-do list. We need that warrant and we need it pronto."

Casey closed her eyes and rubbed her jaw, calling off the epithets awaiting launch. "Elliot, it's called probable cause."

"We've gotten warrants on less."

"Compromising the investigation is a no-no, right?"

He couldn't help but smile and she couldn't help but melt. "Casey, you and I both know this has nothing to do with Picard."

The phone was kind enough to ring.

Unfortunately she wore her favorite sweater, the one that sang the praises of her two chorus girls. Elliot's baby blue's brought a new meaning to facing the music.

The phone rang again though this time it was an inconvenience. Casey flicked her eyes toward the caller ID. Lulu.

"Casey Novak's office?" her voice was surprisingly breathless.

"Yo!"

"I see you decided to ignore the year of finishing school our mother was kind enough to purchase."

"I only went for the free food, but if it'll make you feel better: gracious greetings, tis I, Lulu. And you sound out of breath and you took too long to answer the phone. Do I wanna know what I interrupted?"

"Elliot and I are having a meeting."

"Of your pelvises?"

The eye roll was in her voice. "Funny. May I help you?"

Lulu was determined to expand her sister's romantic horizons. Very married detectives were not exempt. Casey had to admire the kid's tenacity and optimism. What an earnest and callow child.

"I'm going to the library instead of the Stablers'. I wanna see what all the fuss is about while I snag some witty quotes for my research paper."

"Have fun."

"Oh not as much fun as you."

"Goodbye Tallulah. Call me when you get home."

"I shall and be safe, I'm too young to be an aunt."

"Lulu and Lizzie going anywhere I should know about?" he asked when Casey placed the phone on the hook.

"Lulu's taking a solo trip to the library."

"I need that warrant, Casey."

"And I need probable cause, Elliot."

Frowning, he stood up and dusted invisible dust from his slacks. He narrowed his eyes. "We're headed back to square one, you and me."

Maybe it was the way he slammed the door, or the way a not so small piece of her heart shattered when he did, but she knew the spiral was definitely headed downward— and fast.

* * *

Tatum Abbot tried to have sex twice a week, provided it could be arranged between board meetings and business negotiations, conference calls and other official duties. Tate was marketing director after all, if her—personal product—was potent; surely the very legal drugs she sold were orgasmic.

Her physical routine rarely involved her fiancé, the man her brother blackmailed her into checking to the asylum they called a family. He usually stayed home, seducing file clerks and interns while struggling to maintain a semblance of stability in their farce of a relationship, though Tate was convinced his devotion was inspired by detailed articles in the tabloids concerning his patronage of professional paramours.

That afternoon she was negotiating a lucrative merger with an olive skinned pharmaceutical CEO, a thirty-six year old calendar model in the making. She offered to discuss the contracts over lunch, get to know each other a bit. Lunch turned into dinner and dinner turned into drinks and before she knew it, he was a frequent flyer between her sheets. A multi million-dollar deal was made, she was making her name a revered one, and a heartthrob was eating out of the palm of her hand in a penthouse suite. She was exactly what Abbot Pharmaceuticals needed and pretty soon, her brother would have to respect that.

The chime of the penthouse's doorbell called an irritating halt to the trail of admiration the pads of her lothario's fingers were leaving down her bare belly. Untangling herself from the strong arms, Tate slipped on her robe and hurried to soothe the relentless ringing.

She unlocked the door and yanked it open. Two brown eyes, nervous yet determined, peered at her over vintage aviator glasses.

"Am I interrupting?" Lulu asked breezily, then continue before Tate could tell her that she was. "And feel free to slam the door in my face, since I wasn't exactly welcoming over lunch and I'm actually sorry."

"Something tells me apologizing is a rarity for you," Tate leaned against the doorway and smirked. "I accept. Come on in. There's a television in the sitting area. I'll finish up and we'll have lunch."

"Mind if we order room service and pig out here?"

"Not at all," Tate smiled and waved her hand at the black leather couch. "Make yourself at home Tallu…"

"It's Lulu."

"Yes, of course" Tate tucked a few blonde strands behind her ear and smiled in her usual condescending fashion. "I'll be back."

A few minutes and an introduction of a departing suit later; Lulu and Tate were sitting at the small dining table, enjoying a lunch of grilled Ahi burgers and beef tartare.

"Better than that diner?" Tate dabbed at the corners of her mouth with her napkin.

"The Four Seasons is better than most, diners and hotels alike. I imagine that's why you chose it."

"Touché. So, why did you decide to come?"

Lulu cleared her throat. "I wanna know. Everything."

Euphoria was a state of intense excitement and happiness. Knowing she had her baby sister and her chips exactly where she wanted them, to Tate Abbot, euphoria was just the tip of the iceberg.

* * *

Casey was on her couch, feet up, marinating in a stack of files when she looked up at the clock. It was almost eight and she'd been home an hour. The apartment was Lulu-less, evinced by the lack of Patti Smith and Strawberry Alarm Clock karaoke. Manhattan's library had the potential of being a world wonder, but people rarely spent five hours marveling at the place's architecture and infestation of bound printed works.

That and Lulu didn't call. Lulu always called.

Casey was a teenage girl once, back when Billy Idol was actually an idol and while times had changed, teenage girlfriend rituals had not.

"Ms. Novak?" Lizzie Stabler's voice stifled by a yawn.

"Sorry I woke you."

"It's cool. I fell asleep on my keyboard so I should be thanking you."

Casey laughed. "Lulu, she around?"

"She went to the library after school. I thought she called you."

"She did, five hours ago."

"Maybe she's on her way."

"I usually save the third degree for the workplace, but Lizzie, we both know Lulu isn't at the library."

"I usually save my teenage brand of sarcasm for my parents, but Ms. Novak, telepathy is rare amongst our species."

"Lizzie, seriously, it's not like Lulu to blow me off. It's late and I'm scared out of my mind."

Lizzie sighed deeply. Her friend was going to kill her. "She's with her sister, Tate, at the Four Seasons in Manhattan. Look, go easy on her okay. Its more about getting to know the family she always wanted and less about defying you."

Casey would have been livid, if she wasn't petrified. Why couldn't Lulu have listened?

* * *

"Casey? What are you doing here?" Lulu jumped when the front door slammed against the penthouse's white wall, announcing Casey and her Walker, Texas Ranger combat posture.

"Funny, Lulu, I was about to ask you the same question."

To her credit, Casey didn't flinch under Tate's formidable gaze. Rather, she duplicated it, letting the Abbot know she wasn't the least bit intimidated.

Finally Tate spoke, stepping around the table, which now held their half eaten dinner. "Long time no see, Casey."

"Tate." Casey nodded her greetings and glanced at Lulu, who seemed caught between a sister and a hard place. "Get your stuff and go downstairs. You can wait in the lobby."

"Oh come on Casey, it's not…"

"You _really_ don't wanna piss me off," her voice was soft, but the cold warning chilled the room's air.

"She's my sister and I have a right to get to know her."

Casey struggled to contain her temper. She hated the position Tate had forced her into, but hated herself more for not seeing it coming. The Abbots were bound to glide into the picture sooner or later. Unfortunately, Casey was naïve enough to think editing Lulu out of it would solve everything.

"It's okay, Tallulah. I'll call you tomorrow. I've decided to stay in town a few more days. Maybe we could see a show."

"Something tells me that won't be happening," Lulu glanced solemnly between her only connection to the father she never knew and the only person who loved her. "It was nice knowing you."

As she walked out the door, Lulu felt the familiar pangs of resentment.

On the opposite side wall, Casey Novak was contemplating homicide. Tate Abbot seemed aware of this for she discretely sashayed to the other side of the room.

The last time they'd square off, Tate walked away with a black eye. It took half of Neiman Marcus' makeup department to keep her from becoming the laughing stock of her school. Her father sent her back to her mother two days later, choosing his gold digger and salacious slut of a stepdaughter over his own flesh and blood.

Tate lowered herself onto the couch and crossed her legs. "I don't have to imagine why you're here."

"Stay away from my sister."

"_Our _sister."

Casey's hands curled into fists and she tucked them behind her back for safekeeping. "I don't know what this suddenly display of sisterly devotion is about, but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. You're using Lulu, and I don't know why, but it stops now."

"I want to get to know my baby sister, is that a crime?"

"Not yet."

"Lulu doesn't seem to share your sentiment," Tate countered. She retained her poise as she leaned toward the coffee table, in search of the candy bowl. Placing a mint on her tongue, she released a seductive laugh. "You didn't honestly think you could keep her away from us, did you?"

Casey shrugged. "Snakes don't stay in the grass forever."

"It's funny you should bring up snakes. All I have to do is get Lulu to take one little bite and your world comes crashing down."

Casey rolled her eyes. "How…sinister."

"You know, breaking you, that's just a bonus."

"Goodnight Tate."

* * *

"Was in worth it?" Casey asked once they'd pulled into the parking garage of their building.

"I just want to know about my father. I'm sorry I lied, but I'm sorrier about having to. Tate's family, I shouldn't have to feel guilty about wanting her around."

"Hey, come on. I'm not asking you to feel guilty, but you don't know anything about the Abbots."

"Hence the fishing expedition…"

"Lulu, the Abbots are a pack of vultures with expensive carcasses. They prey on their own and when they latch on, they'll rip you to shreds."

Lulu folded her arms. "Don't you think you're being a little dramatic?"

"I'm just trying to protect you."

"From what?"

"Will you just trust me on this?"

"Why, when you obviously don't trust me?"

Time out.

"Liars aren't exactly trustworthy."

"Says the lawyer."

"This is getting us nowhere."

Lulu sighed. "And fast. Police your own life, okay? I've been taking care of myself for a long time."

The elevator ride up to the apartment was a viciously silent one. The walk down the hall was no different. Casey stuffed her key in the lock, but the door was kind enough to sling itself open.

Both sisters lost track of their mutual agitation when the mordant voice of their mother ripened in their ears.

"Hello girls," the Cheshire cat herself licked her lips and took in her daughters. Evelyn Montgomery reached for Lulu's cheek, only to have her hand shoved away. "I've missed you too."

"What are you doing here Mother and how'd you get in?"

"Your super's a wonderful man, offered to let me in, seeing as the chairs in the lobby are a grade above bean bags. As to why I'm here, well, it seems as though when Mama wants something done, Mama's got to do it herself."

* * *

**I actually have a plot: **The upcoming joining of Casey and Elliot's respective pelvises fires up a nightmare. Evelyn's presence doesn't help and neither does Lulu's newfound defiance.


	7. Quondam

**A/N: **I finally had the urge to update. As always, thanks for the feedback!

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Quondam**

"Why are you here, Mother?"

Evelyn wasn't disappointed to note the sour twinge of vexation in Casey's husky voice. She knew she was intruding and was the doyen of manipulation. Anger clouded her middle child's judgment. It made her sloppy. It made her weak. It would be like ripping off a bandage. It would hurt in the beginning, but the pain would be over quickly—if Casey did as she was told.

Unfortunately, Casey was never meekly ready to accept and follow orders. She wasn't docile and obedient. She was never easy to control. Evelyn spent years trying to knead Casey into the perfect tool, but she was never maneuverable, even as a child. Lulu was that way in the beginning, but she proved to be easier to alter, her beautiful mind so simple and entertaining to distort.

"Is that any way to greet your mother?" Casey's parent asked, easing herself onto the couch. She sipped Casey's good wine out of one of Casey's best glasses, the ones she reserved for people of importance, and smirked at her over the rim. "You've done reasonably well for yourself, Catherine."

"Hello Mother," Casey tossed her keys onto the coffee table and as if it were the most natural thing in the world, she relieved her mother of her lifelong liquid coping mechanism and slammed it down next to the keys. "Why are you here?"

Evelyn's obscenely magniloquent laughter leeched into the room as she picked up the wine and took another sip. She glanced between her daughters, between the resentful eldest and the befuddled youngest, and shook the humor out of her mind.

She came to play games and she came to win.

Though Casey did look rather confident. Years of therapy could do that to a person.

"You can't imagine how I felt when the two of you weren't here. There were files all over the place and the television was still on. You obviously left in a hurry."

"What do you _want_?"

"Oh, you mustn't make that face, Dear. We wouldn't want it to get stuck that way."

"We get it, okay?" Lulu rolled her eyes. "You're pissed because your entrance wasn't as grand as you hoped. We're shocked, you're here, get to the nitty gritty and get out."

"Who is this girl that presumes to speak to me as though we are contemporaries? Not the daughter I've doted on since the day she was born."

"I've seen roaches with more adoration for their young," Casey groaned. She spread her aching feet apart—nine hundred dollars for a pair of boots and they made her feet feel like they were being gnawed by razor-toothed toddlers—and folded her arms. She tilted her head and watched the staring contest between her mother and baby sister, and found herself disappointed when Lulu averted her gaze and bowed her head. "Why are you here?"

"I suppose you're wondering as to why I decided to drop in. I mean really, I understood your initial shock, but I never expected such loutish behavior from children I raised."

"Oh, but you forget, you didn't raise us."

Evelyn dealt Casey a frigid glance. She arched a precisely manicured brow. "Years of therapy and you've yet to resolve your mommy issues."

"Oh my god! Will you just get to the point?" Lulu shouted so sharply she managed to make the Ice Queen and her equally bone-chilling second born flinch.

Just as quickly, the woman produced a tyrannizing glare. "There are many points, Lulu. Though I imagine many people are going into overdrive to keep _you_ from being pricked by them. Just because I was lenient enough to allow you to live with this—" she swept her hand in Casey's direction. "—this sister of yours with her horrid fashion sense, does not mean I'll stand here and allow you to disrespect me."

"So leave."

"Well," Evelyn huffed gustily and narrowed her eyes at Casey "I supposed I shouldn't expect any more from you. You were always your father's daughter."

"That train's never late," Casey scrubbed her face with her hands. "So, to what do we owe this lovely little visit?"

"Oh, we'll get to that." She glanced pointedly at Lulu. "Go to your room."

"Don't talk to her like that."

"I'm her mother."

"And this is my house and last time I checked. Mi casa es mi casa and that's Spanish for: I make the rules. Rule numero uno: don't talk to her like that."

"That would be _no hablar con ella como eso_."

Casey rolled her eyes. "Thank you, Lulu."

She grinned sheepishly. "No problemo." With a shrug of her shoulders, she turned to leave, but stopped short of her door. "You fine without me?"

"Your room!"

Lulu narrowed her eyes at her mother. _"Chupame la pija."_

"What was that?"

"Let's just say our time in Spain proved to be educational."

"Okay mother," Casey said when she heard Lulu's music skyrocket. "What's this really about?"

"I gave specific instructions."

"And I disobeyed them. It's kinda instinctive now."

Evelyn smirked. "I understand Lulu wishes to acquire your last name."

"Gee, now who told you that?"

"I have my sources."

"Tripp still at your beck and call?"

"He's a dutiful boy."

"He's a sad little man."

Evelyn's eyes became darkly serious. "You will not allow this."

"Really? And why's that?"

"Because if you do, our little _Loo Loo's _gonna be privy to some very sensitive information. Fair, wouldn't you say?"

Casey groaned. She turned her head so as not to swear in front of her not so maternal mother, which Evelyn could hear perfectly well as she was shouting every obscenity. Evelyn just chuckled, marinating in succulently sweet success.

"That's blackmail, Mother."

"Oh, don't be so crude. Self-preservation is more like it. Besides, you and Lulu owe me. You especially."

"You made your point."

"Have I?"

"Since you're intruding, why don't you make us some dinner?"

When she tossed out the proposition, Casey hadn't expected her to saunter into the kitchen and tackle her fridge like a porcelain version of Warren Sapp.

Groaning, Casey excused herself into her bedroom in search of her cell and a number she'd sworn never to call.

* * *

A little over three hours after Casey and Lulu's departure, Tate Abbott, half dressed and uncharacteristically bedraggled, received a knock on her penthouse door. Pulling it open, she found her older and only brother choking the doorframe.

Talon Abbot IV was dressed like the quintessential fortune five hundred businessman: a suit worth the average man's car down payment, good shoes and better sunglasses. He would have been handsome if he weren't so empty and timorous, so dangerous and impulsive—a walking contradiction.

"Gonna let me in?" he asked evenly, looking past her and into the empty living room.

"Depends."

He pushed past her and stepped over the threshold. He went straight for the bar and poured himself a drink. Straight scotch. A man's drink, his father used to say. He rolled the amber liquid around in the cup, watching his problems bounce against the clear glass. He carried it over to the table and leaned into the cool glass and took a smooth sip.

Talon hated this time of the day, when the dark boxed him in, when he was cornered by his past and forced to take refuge in the present.

He moved away from the table and found his way to the picture windows, resting his head on the glass. When he'd swallowed the last swig, Talon waved his sister over. When she remained rooted in the center of the room, he poured himself another drink and went to her.

"What are you—"

Talon put a finger on her lips to activate complete silence. He laid his hands on her shoulder and squeezed, firmly.

"I'm only going to say this once so I suggest you pay close attention."

He shook her, hard.

She struggled, but he was strong.

"Stay away from Casey and her little sister."

"_Our _sister."

"I'm not in the mood."

She wrenched free, but only because she'd been allowed to. "Yeah, well neither am I. That girl's our sister and we have a right to her."

"That's right Tate, she's a girl! Not some implement in one of your futile games. She has a life and she's got feelings. Leave her out of this."

"Feelings?" Tate tilted her slender neck back and allowed herself a long, hard laugh. "A life? You're heart's bleeding all over my slippers, Tal."

"You don't know how to see the humanity in people, Tate. Never have."

"And you do?" she hissed. "Funny, Daddy would say differently."

He tensed at the mention of their father. Tate decided to go for the jugular.

"Maybe I'll tell little Tallulah about what you did. Maybe I should tell her exactly who and what you are."

His hands are around her dainty little throat. Big rough hands, small and delicate throat. It's amazing how quickly inky blackness stings at her vision. He laughs. His mouth spilled into a broad smile.

"You go anywhere near them again and I'll kill you."

She kept her tone light. "That's a bit drastic, don't you think?"

He applied pressure. "Try me."

He knew she would, because that's who Tate Abbot was.

She would push and push until the rope around his sanity broke.

She was like their father.

* * *

Casey Novak's mind swirled with thousands of reasons as to why they shouldn't be doing this and to millions as to why they should. Basically it boiled down to she was really, truly enthusiastic about the whole thing. He wasn't exactly complaining either. They were adults. He had protection. It was impulsive. It was selfish. It was stupid.

It was right.

She liked this feeling, the feeling of spontaneity.

The moment was imperfect, inconvenient, and sinfully tainted.

The moment was like her, they're both aware of it, and he didn't mind because he liked her that way.

An hour earlier he'd offered her a ride home. It was getting late, rush hour, and she'd end up standing the entire subway ride to her apartment. She left late on purpose because she hated the silence in her place, since Evelyn decided to throw her weight around and take Lulu to her hotel room for a few days. The emptiness, like a gutted melon; nothing was quite right in her life—except him.

They were wet. She didn't even remember pushing open her front door, let alone stepping into the shower. She can't move. Her mind blanked as if someone told her an inside joke she doesn't remember laughing at.

There wasn't enough room in the shower for both of them. They were meshed together, almost like a single block of flesh. She stood on her tippy toes to kiss him and they banged their foreheads together. They shared a laugh. She found the joke.

His hands played on her exposed skin, her lips enveloped the water pooling on his right shoulder.

They don't rush, but they don't stand on ceremony either.

Intimate, yet carnal.

Quickly approaching love, but loitering at the line...waiting.

They don't cross it this time.

The knock at the door wasn't exactly helpful.

They stared at each other, lips inches apart, before he shrugged toward the robe on the door.

Casey pilfered a look at Elliot's Stabler face before putting on the soft terry garment and heading toward the door in an agitated fog. She crossed her living room, the soft carpet licking her damp feet. Casey yanked open the fromt door, leaving the safety chain in tact.

Talon Abbot IV was standing in front of her, brandishing his best smile.

He propped up a brown brow. "Did I come at a bad time?"

* * *

**Plot: **Yes, Talon, your timing reeks of ass nectar. Elliot and Casey share my assessment. Expect all the joys of the episode _Blinded_, some post-sex guilt, and a spicy dash of 'younger sister and overbearing mother love life denaturalizer".

Yay!


	8. Sub Rosa

**A/N:** It's been along time folks! Since instruction for the quarter doesn't officially begin for another week, I figured I'd use the free time to give you guys an update.

Thanks for the reviews and alerts. It was wonderful knowing people were still reading in my absence. :)

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Sub Rosa**

Talon cocked his head and regarded her curiously, his brown eyes livelier than usual. He smirked at her terry ensemble. "So, bad time?"

"You couldn't possibly do otherwise."

He sparked on a high voltage grin. "As I recall, you invited me here."

"No," Casey stared at him through narrowed lashes. "Your job was damage control. Used to be among your many métiers."

An impetuous cold breeze slashed between them. Talon rubbed his arms up and down his wool peacoat, the fabric offering little protection from the frost in her eyes. "I expected a warmer welcome," his smile was cheerful, his voice however, was arid and vacant. "Are you going to let me in or would you like to have this conversation in the hallway?"

Casey freed the chain, waved him through, and led him to the couch. He sat down, his eyes tasting the room. He looked at the high ceilings and the lurid orange walls. Books and files flowing like an abounding river from the tall wooden bookshelves and glass desk near the window. A few pieces of abstract art on the wall, bright waves of color skillfully meshed against one another. Photographs peppered on the walls, frames positioned on the coffee table. He picked one up: Lulu with Casey taken at Niagara Falls.

"She looks like you."

Casey glanced nervously between the closed bathroom door and the ghost from Abbot's past on her couch. She cleared her throat. "She's my sister."

He just nodded and returned the photo to its place. He folded his hands in his lap. "I'll do my best to keep Tate away from Tallulah."

"Lulu."

"_Lulu_," he amended, a faint smirk dancing on his lips. "I'll try to keep her away from Lulu, but I can't promise anything."

She crossed her arms. "You never could."

He stood and reached for her shoulder, but she stepped away. Talon cleared his throat and nodded. "Casey, I'm so..."

She smiled faintly. "That door swings both ways."

* * *

Not trusting happiness was the first step to its annihilation.

He caught them standing too close to each other and it was a wrap. It was all he needed.

Their conversation was familiar, natural even. Casey was laughing. That was the first thing he heard when he pushed open the bathroom door: Casey's husky laugh, ricocheting off the orange walls like a freshly fired hollow point.

Elliot was about to go in and put a stop to it, whatever it was, when she laughed again. He leaned into the wall, frowning as the chill of the plaster assaulted his back, and closed his eyes. He was being ridiculous, childish probably. Jealous was the best adjective if he was going for the gold, but it wasn't about him.

It was about her and the man at her side. There was something startling about them. Something in the way he leaned into her, and the way she tilted her head to meet his eye. Something about her paleness, his darkness, her narrow frame and his burliness. Elliot Stabler relied on his instincts, they kept his head above water and nine times out of ten, they were on the money. He couldn't figure out what he found so disturbing. They looked so established, so attractive together. Elliot hadn't experienced jealousy in quite awhile—and he didn't like it.

He cleared his throat and she pulled away, snapping her eyes toward his. "Elliot."

"I didn't realize you had company," Talon smiled at the new addition. He held out a hand. "Talon. Talon Abbot."

"Elliot Stabler," he returned the handshake, albeit with a lose grip. "Abbot, as in Lulu Abbot?"

"Lulu and I have the same father," he said with a slight smile. Talon could tell the other man was suspicious. He seemed uncomfortable, agitated even. "Anyhow, I didn't realize I was interrupting. I should be going. My flight leaves in a few hours and I still have a few errands to manage."

"No, you stay. I've taken up too much of Casey's time anyway. It was nice to meet you, Talon. Your little sister's a great kid."

Talon snuck another glance at the picture on the coffee table. Elliot swore he saw a flash of pain in his eyes, but it passed too quickly for him to be sure. He watched as the Abbot shook his head and moved to the couch, smoothing invisible wrinkles from his slacks as he sat down.

"Yes, I'm sure she is."

Casey walked Elliot to the door. "Thanks for the ride."

"I'm sure that pun wasn't intended," he said, smiling.

She found herself smiling with him. "Nope."

"You know, just because it wasn't intended doesn't make it meaningless."

Her breath caught in her throat. "Goodbye, Elliot."

He nodded, taking the hint as he backed out into the hallway. "See you at work on Monday."

She closed the door and leaned against it.

It was worse than a one-night stand. Evening stand if she was going to be accurate. Small droplets of water still clung to the back of her neck. A few threatened to roll down her shoulders, their tiny bodies tickling her skin.

The ghost of his touch.

She wanted to be sick.

It was worse than a one-night stand because it didn't have the clean break. It didn't have the insinuated protocol that they would never see each other again. She still had to face him at work on Monday and every other day thereafter. She'd be stuck with the knowledge that she'd nearly played a wet game of hide the bacon with her very married co-worker.

She'd have to look at him everyday knowing that if the opportunity presented itself, she wouldn't hesitate to do it all again.

She crept back into the living room, half annoyed that Talon Abbot was still quite comfortable on her couch. "Can I get you something to drink?"

He shook his head without looking up. Combing his hands through his brown hair, Talon rested his elbows on his thighs and his cheeks in his palms. He sat that way for some time, he and Casey both enveloped in a strenuous silence.

When he finally brought his head up, his forehead was bestrewn with his hair and his brown eyes were the picture of uncertainty. "Tate's up to something and it has the potential to ruin many lives."

Casey rolled her eyes and plopped down onto the other end of her couch. "Why am I not surprised?"

A smile lit up his handsome face, but it vanished quickly. "If it were just me, I wouldn't even consider bringing you and Tallulah into this, but it seems as though my shrew of a sister has left me no choice."

"Should I queue the suspenseful music or...?"

"This is serious, Casey. Everything my father and my grandfather worked for could be in ruins. More than a half a century of work down the tubes due to Tate's infatuation with power and your mother's greed."

Casey leaned forward, suddenly interested. "What does my mother have to do with all this? Better yet, how does Lulu factor in?"

"Tate's vying for my job. The board of directors is voting in a few months and should Tate garner their support, she'll cut funding to our prescription assistance program as well as many other customer assistance projects. Thousands of people stand to lose the ability to cover their medicine regimens and not to mention the prodigious deficit..."

"Talon, I know you've worked your ass off for your place behind that desk, but again, what does this have to do with my mother and Lulu?"

"My father left a substantial amount of money to Evelyn, money that she would only be able to claim if she had a child that participated in the family business."

"Lulu's still a minor."

"Exactly, but she is still eligible to vote in board matters via proxy. Her proxy was transferred over to you when Evelyn signed over her parental rights. Should Lulu change her name and forfeit her birthright, your mother stands to lose a pretty penny. With Evelyn's help, Tate has the ability to convince Lulu to vote in her favor and..."

"And you would lose everything."

"You don't understand," he threw himself up and began a slow pace around the coffee table. "Lulu's vote has a lot of power on that board, too much power as far as my sister's concerned and I agree with her. Lulu knows absolutely nothing about the company and she has no idea what's at stake. And you're absolutely right, I am deeply concerned about our customers and the fate of my family legacy, but how Tate plans to gain control over Lulu is what brought me here."

Casey wrung her hands as the vile charged up her throat and threatened to escape.

She knew it before he said it.

Talon stood in front of her and grabbed her hands before either them had time to think about it. "If Lulu doesn't vote in her favor, Tate's promised to tell her everything," he shook her for good measure, his eyes desperate and pleading. "And I do mean _everything._"

* * *

Lulu brought her hand up to her cheek, still reeling from the blow. Her eyes watered, but she refused to let her mother have the upper hand.

"I'm still your mother," Evelyn roared. "You don't run anything around here but that mouth of yours. I make the decisions, Tallulah Abbot—a little tidbit you'd be well advised not to forget."

"I'm not leaving Casey," she folded her arms in front of her chest. "I love it here."

"We don't always get to do what we want."

"You obviously have no interest in being a real mother to me. Why can't we just go our separate ways?"

Evelyn laughed as she reached in to stroke her daughter's smarting cheek. She chuckled when the girl flinched. "Because my little _Loo Loo_, you mean far too much to me."

"I doubt that."

"Haven't I made enough sacrifices for you? The best schools, tutors, traveling..."

"And haven't I made enough sacrifices for _you_?" Lulu countered, suddenly inspired by a sudden burst of rage. "I changed schools every year, sometimes before the session was over. We barely lived in a city or country long enough for me to make real friends. Not to mention other things..."

Evelyn blanched. "We are not going there."

"Why not? Because it highlights your low points as a mother?"

"I've had enough of this," Evelyn snatched her arm and shook her, hard. "You're coming back to Europe with me. This isn't up for debate."

"Why don't you just give it a rest, Evelyn? You signed away your rights, which means you have absolutely no say. If I want to stay with Casey or in a group home on Sesame Street, you'll just have to click your heels and go straight to hell if you have a problem."

"Oh, my sweet little girl," Evelyn shook her head and chuckled, still gripping Lulu's arm. "You have no idea what you're gambling with. Tell me, what would your beloved sister think of you if she knew what you did? How would see feel about sharing her home and her live with a..."

"You wouldn't."

"You'd be wise to place little credence in my good will, Lulu," Evelyn sneered. "Unlike Casey, I don't have a little soft spot in my heart for you. If you continue with his charade of changing your name and denouncing the Abbots, I will make sure you live to regret it."

"Mom..."

"So it's 'Mom' now?" Evelyn gave her a little shake. Chuckling again, she released the youngest Abbot and pushed her in the direction of the front door. "Like I said, you mean far too much to me to lose. If you can't make the proper decisions, I will not hesitate to remove you from the farce of a family you've cultivated with your sister. Just something to think about."

With that, Evelyn Montgomery opened the door to her hotel room and pushed the girl out, feeling extremely satisfied as she relished her firm grip on the upper hand.

* * *

"How the hell did she find out?"

"I have no idea, but that isn't the point," Talon removed his hands and began pacing again. "We have to protect you and Lulu."

Casey swallowed, her voice seeping out in a tiny whisper. "I knew this would happen."

He stopped and raked her with a smile that she was sure he believed to be reassuring. "She's not going to find out."

"She's just a kid, Talon," Casey raked her fingers through her hair and groaned. "She doesn't deserve this."

He frowned. "Neither do you."

"I only care about what's best for Lulu."

"I doubt that."

Her eyes flashed. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she spat.

He shrugged. "I know you want to protect Lulu, but how can you when your focus is divided between her and your married lover?"

She narrowed her eyes. "That's none of your business."

"It is when you're parading him around the apartment you share with our little sister. I saw the ring on his finger, Casey. What kind of example are you trying to set for our little sister?"

"So you're gonna jump on your soap box and preach to me about morals? Really Talon?"

"I'm just trying to protect her."

"From what?"

"From your impulsiveness."

"Talon..."

"You commended me for making sacrifices. Please don't make it so I made them in vein."

"I love Lulu. Elliot and I work together. You didn't walk in on anything but two co-workers discussing a case. The guy was nice enough to give me a ride, he stayed and we talked. I would never do anything to hurt that kid."

"I know. I know," he sighed and sank back onto the couch. "We have to protect her, Casey."

"She'll be fine, Talon."

"Fine, yes. Unscathed, probably not. When Tate Abbot wants something she'll do anything in her power to get it. That includes shattering the heart of a thirteen year old girl."

* * *

"Where have you been?" Lizzie Stabler snapped as soon as she sank into the passenger's seat of her father's car. "I've been calling you for the last hour and a half. I told you mom couldn't pick me up from study group today."

He paled. His cell phone was at Casey's house. On her bed, in her bedroom...

Great.

"Must've left it at work. Sorry, kid."

"Whatever. Hey, have you seen Casey?"

Yes, more of her than he ever thought he would.

"We work together, Lizzie."

"I know that, Captain Obvious. Today, did you see her?"

"Yeah," he arched his brow and watched her out of the corner of his eye. "Why?"

"Did she mention anything about Lulu?"

They didn't exactly talk.

"No. Is something wrong? Did you guys get into it?"

"Don't be so dramatic. It's just, Lulu's been...distant. Quiet, is more like it. I know she's spending some time with her mom and I know they don't get along too well, but something's...off."

He frowned and gripped the steering wheel. "I'll talk to Casey..."

"No!" Lizzie shook her head and turned to look at the foggy glass window. "Probably just her hormones acting up. No need to narc her out."

Elliot nodded and gave the sedan some gas.

He'd let it go for now.

* * *

"Ever wished...ever wished we'd gone about this whole thing differently?"

Casey nodded without looking at him. There were a lot of things she could've done differently. Regret was contagious. Fatal and contagious. It jumped from one person to the next, spreading a pandemic of guilt and pain. Looking at Talon with his head in his hands and his shoulders bent, she knew he suffered far worse than she had.

"Sometimes," she admitted.

He looked up at her. "Do you blame me?"

"Blame is for kindergarteners and public servants, Talon."

"Says the ADA."

She chuckled. "Touché."

"Lulu's birthday's just around the corner. Got anything planned for our baby sister?"

"The kid has an unnatural obsession with vintage clothes. I was gonna take her on a shopping spree and let her shop until she drops and my credit card explodes."

"Don't you think that's a little extravagant for her fourteenth birthday?"

She shrugged. "Lulu's had a rough couple of months. Evelyn just up and left her with little explanation and even less of a goodbye. She's been doing great in school and I figured she deserved something big, especially since this is the first birthday I've had with her."

He picked up the picture on the coffee table again. "You don't have to do this alone. I can contribute..."

"We don't need charity, Talon."

He held her gaze for a moment before he returned the frame to its place and rose to his feet. "Rather we like it or it not, this is all going to come out at some point. Tate or no Tate."

"I know."

"She can never find out now, though. She's too young to understand."

"I know, Talon," she snapped. "I'm sorry. This is just frustrating..."

He regarded her solemnly and moved for the door. "Sometimes I wish we could just tell the kid everything."

The image of Lulu's disappointed face, her brown eyes brimming with resentment and tears rushed to the forefront of Casey's mind. She folded her arms. "I can't do that to her, Talon. I'm not prepared to hurt Lulu like that."

"Hurt me? Why would you hurt me?"

Both adults turned around to find the teenager in question leaning against the transom of the freshly opened door.

* * *

**Plot:** Yes, I have one!

Everybody has a secret and an agenda.

Look for more C/E close calls, even more of Talon's guilt, and little _Loo Loo _makes a startling discovery.


	9. Blood

**A/N: **Thanks mucho for the feedback folks! It's loved and appreciated!

Be warned: this chapter is quite long. I really needed to advance the plot. :)

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Blood**

"Hurt me? Why would you hurt me?"

Both adults turned around to find the teenager in question leaning against the transom of the freshly opened door. Little Tallulah Abbot, wide eyed and soaked, kept her gaze focused on the two disconcerted adults as she kicked the front door shut and carelessly dropped her umbrella in front of it. Peeling off her peacoat, which now had the vomitous scent of a wet dog, she tossed it on the coat rack and flounced past her brother and sister with a theatrical, yet caviler disregard for their open mouths and guilty eyes.

"Um, why are you in your robe?"

Casey cleared her throat and frowned at the community of tiny puddles of rainwater Lulu's rubber boots had left in their wake. "Just got out of the shower. So, I um...I take it Evelyn didn't drive you?"

The long walk from the subway station had left Lulu out of breath and unspeakably cold. After resting her hands on her thighs, she shook her head and managed between breaths: "Surely...you jest? That...woman doesn't...doesn't believe in frivolous...things like my safety...and health. It was a good...a good thing she didn't...another five minutes...and you were gonna be scraping...our mother out from the bottom of the East River."

"You and your mother don't get along?"

Lulu narrowed her eyes at the man in front of her, though not out of hostility. She smirked. "How many thirteen year old girls do you know who are chummy with their mummy's?"

Talon returned the cheeky grin noticing for the first time that she didn't have the Abbot smile. "I don't know many thirteen year old girls."

"Your local law enforcement agency must be proud."

"Lulu!" Casey admonished.

"No, no it's okay. She came by her love of wit and repartee honestly," he laughed and offered his right hand across the coffee table he'd been standing in front of. "I'm Talon..."

"I know," she studied the hand for a beat before she shook it. "Tate showed me a picture of you. She said you look like our grandmother, Isabella Barlow, the one I'm named for."

He just nodded, albeit apprehensively.

"You can let go of my hand now," she watched him, curiosity coming to a boil in her eyes.

"Her hands are freezing," he turned to Casey once he'd severed the gesture. "Perhaps a nice cup of tea's in order."

"Yes of course, Master Talon. Where was my thinking?" she rolled her eyes and swatted him on the shoulder on her way to the kitchen.

"Chamomile," Lulu called after her. "With extra honey."

An awkward silence took hold of the room and Lulu found herself uncomfortable under her older brother's formidable, yet inquisitive gaze. He stood watching her, eyes reading over her like a book long owned that he'd recently decided to open. She wanted to smile at him, offer some sort of reassurance that the curiosity that seized him was mutual. However, tearing down his walls seemed like an arduous task—one little Lulu didn't want to take on.

She cleared her throat and snuck a glance at Casey, who was putting the kettle on the burner. Looking up at him, she offered her brother a small smile and pointed to the armchair next to the sofa. "You um...you don't have to stand you know."

"I suppose you're right," he eased into the chair; his back straight as a ruler, and placed his hands on his knees. "So, you're in what, ninth grade?"

She nodded absently, twirling the ends of her ponytail.

"What subjects are they torturing you with?"

That got a smile out of her. "Physics, Biology, Foreign Literature, and Algebra II. Oh, yeah, and PE."

He let out a whistle. "Two science classes, huh? You must've inherited your sisters' studious nature because I for one, never would've cramped by social life with such an exigent schedule. Casey and Tate are two of the most cerebral people I've ever met."

"Meh, I wouldn't go that far," she shrugged. "I just wanted to get my biological and physical science requirements out of the way so I could have room for more electives and AP classes my junior and senior year."

"Well, if you ever need help with your biology homework, that was one of the few classes I didn't sleep through in college."

"Tate said you graduated top of your class at John Hopkins."

"She did, did she?"

Lulu frowned. She'd seen amoeba muster up more emotion. "She talks about you a lot. She's proud of her big brother."

"No, she's proud of her CEO. There's a big difference."

Before Lulu could question him any further, Casey had returned with three steaming mugs of chamomile tea. She placed the mugs on coasters before taking the cushion next to Lulu. The Novak sat there with her palms pressed against the scalding cup, watching as the two Abbots figured out where to go next.

It was the younger Abbot who'd grown tired of the small talk and formalities. "So, what was all that about hurting me?"

The change of subject had dawned effortlessly and the room had chilled slightly. Casey felt as though she were facing a major surgery, something she might not come back from. Talon for his part was completely calm; the cheeky grin he'd been pacifying his little sister with had never left his face.

"Don't all rush to explain it to me at once."

"All right," Talon shrugged and relieved the coffee table of his tea. The steam snaked around his face as he sipped, creating little droplets of sweat on his forehead. He kept a tight grip on the cup and a straight face as he lied. "Casey may be unwilling to play the bad guy, but unfortunately for you Lulu, I don't share her reluctance. I know you and Tate have established a connection, but I think it would be best for all involved if you and our sister go your separate ways."

* * *

Tatum Abbot stared at the picture. Searing hot tears of rage clawed at her eyes, but she refused to release them. Instead, she hurled the frame at the wall, smiling as the glass shards performed a graceful bourrée down the wall before spilling onto the carpet.

Evidence had it that the young man in the picture became a murderer in an exclusive, affluent suburb of Kenilworth many years ago.

In a house marked with a refined opulence, a mile long driveway and a longer history, with its aesthetic gardens radiating from the fountain in the center of its courtyard, after close to twenty two years on the planet, the young man in the picture made his debut as a killer. He'd chosen one life over another. He raised the bloody knife to his eyes to inspect, but he didn't even recall using it. The dead man on the floor, the sound of breaking glass as the life he'd killed to save dropped the grocery bag over packed with dinner fixings, the blood on his shirt and the floor and the young man's hands—a blank.

The room's jaundiced light siphoned the color out of everything and the floor lurched, like a stipped elevator suddenly deciding to move. The young man steadied himself against the wall, unaware that Tatum Abbot had seen everything.

"Throwing a temper tantrum isn't going to change anything."

Tate hurled her eyes at the woman casually sipping a martini on her couch. She would've strangled Evelyn Montgomery on the spot if she hadn't proven to be so useful. Instead Tate clasped her hands together and brought them in front of her middle. "I'm well aware of that, Evelyn. Tell me, does it even bother you...what they did to him?"

Evelyn Montgomery seemed to mull over the question. She tilted her head and tapped her manicured fingers against her chin. She pictured his bloody body, left in the middle of the living room floor like a spill waiting for the maid to clean up. She remembered the young man, with his bloodstained hands and his remorseful, yet relieved eyes. "Am I bothered? No. He had it coming. Disturbed? Somewhat. It's not everyday one stumbles upon a scene akin to that one. Grateful is more like it. That night gave me a lot of power and it solidified my place in his family. Something, I might add, you always tried to destroy—even as a young girl."

"Do you have any idea how painful that night was for me?" Tate shouted. Swallowing, she regretted the slip. Emotions could easily be sharpened and used as weapons. She cleared her throat. "Spring break, no less."

"I didn't come here to wax sentimental, Tate. The source of your resentment, anger and heartache and sundry of other issues is of little interest to me. I've come for a progress report. How is your relationship with Lulu progressing?"

"Let me make something clear to you, Evelyn. I do not owe you anything. As a matter of fact, you would do well to know your place in our little arrangement. You seem to forget, you are a co-conspirator and I have the means to prove it. Your cooperation in helping me secure my rightful place in my father's company is the only thing that guarantee's my silence."

Evelyn hated it when the little bitch was right.

"As for my relationship with Lulu, it's time we move to the next step. You know I actually like the kid," Tate narrowed her brown eyes at her former stepmother. "Like it or not, and I don't like it, Lulu is an Abbot and that makes her family. I suggest you learn to restrain yourself in your dealings with her. She stopped by on her way to Casey's. I helped her cover the bruise."

Evelyn clasped her hands and grinned with melodramatic glee. "Why, Tatum. Do I detect a note of compassion?" she raised her drink in mock toast. "Here's to it not standing in the way of the big reveal."

"Oh, I'm going to tell her," Tate shrugged her shoulders and sashayed over to the bar. She poured herself a delicate amount of scotch—she was still a lady—and brought the glass up to her lips, smirking at Evelyn over the rim. She rested the glass in the palm of her hand and continued to smile. "Oh, I'm definitely going to tell her, though it won't be out of malice. I bear her no ill will. I believe she deserves to know the truth. Unfortunately, it just might destroy her."

* * *

"Tate told me about you," Lulu rolled her eyes and relaxed further into the couch's fluffy cushions, an all-knowing smirk spilled across her face.

"Let me guess. I'm the big bad wolf, she's grandma, and you'd better watch your cookies in the woods."

"She said you'd try to keep us from having a meaningful relationship. She told me how our father used to pit the two of you against each other and how because of it, you don't know anything else. She said that you'd try to do the same to us."

Talon stiffened at the mention of their father, but sobered quickly. "I'm trying to protect you."

"Why does everybody keep saying that?" Lulu shouted, suddenly throwing herself onto her feet. "Tate's my sister and so far, she's been a pretty good one. Unlike the two of you, I never had a real family growing up. I don't know anything about my father or any other Abbot, including you Talon. It's not like she's pressuring me to smoke crack or dye my hair fluorescent green and work at a strip bar on Thursdays. What's wrong with getting closer to my family?"

Talon fired off an impish grin at Casey and chuckled. "Please tell me you aren't the one that's been romanticizing my family and deluding our baby sister's whimsical little mind."

"Hey," the red head held her hands up innocently. "She gets the unadulterated version from moi. The only difference between the Abbots and the Titanic is it had a band, Lulu. You haven't missed much."

Talon frowned. "I'm gonna try not to be offended by that."

"If you guys are gonna joke around, I've got homework to do."

Casey grabbed her arm before she could move in the direction of her bedroom. "Ah ah ah, you put in the quarter and you're gonna get the whole song. I know you want to get to know your sister and by extension, the rest of your family, but it's a very complicated situation."

"If you would—I don't know?—explain it to me, maybe I might understand."

"It's best that you don't understand, Tallulah."

She whipped her narrowed eyes in his direction. "Okay, first of all, my name's Lulu. Secondly, where do you get off telling me who I can and can't hang out with? I happen to like Tate and even though she has her moments, she's actually been a great sister to me. The Abbots never gave a damn about me, Tate's just trying..."

"You're smarter than this, Lulu," Casey interrupted. "Doesn't it all seem a convenient?"

She folded her arms. "Um, yeah, you're right. It does seem a little convenient. I start hanging out with Tate, somebody you don't like, and suddenly my big brother appears with a laundry list of reasons as to why Tate's the Wicked Witch of the West," she fixed Casey with a pointed gaze. "Tell me Casey, why is that?"

"Lulu...we're not attacking you."

Her brown eyes softened to a point of sadness. "Since when don't you trust me?"

Talon scoffed and stood. "Probably around the time you started acting like a spoiled brat who wasn't invited to the prom."

"I get that you're trying to make up for...one...two...three," Lulu placed her weight on her right hip and she counted on her fingers. "Three...three years plus ten...thirteen years of...absolutely nothing...by trying to control my life...a life you know nothing about might I add, but I know that's not the only reason why you want to stick your turned up snout all in my mix: you're threatened by my relationship with Tate so you want to control it, which is a lot like wanting to be a big brother only more self serving."

"Okay, can we take two steps back and not pass go?" Casey stood and laid her hands on each Abbot's shoulder. "Rather you, I, or he like it or not: Talon's just trying to protect you. Sometimes giving someone your trust means having faith that they won't break it."

"I don't know him from a hole in the ground, Casey! How do you expect me to trust him? Do you even trust him?"

"I trust that he knows more about his family than you and I do."

She frowned. "That's not what I asked."

"That was my answer. Listen to me Lulu," Casey grabbed her hand and pulled her back onto the couch. "I love you and I would never, ever do anything to hurt you. If I honestly believed for a nanosecond that Talon was full of shit, I wouldn't even have let him across the threshold."

"So you do trust him?"

"Yes."

"Fine, I'll stay away from Tate, but not because of you," she glared at her brother. "But because Casey's never lied to me and I doubt she'd start on your account."

The problem with being an actress is that as soon as you establish yourself in the role, the curtain is lowered and the lights are dimmed because no performance lasts forever, blockbuster or not. You have to move on and take the stage or big screen, the road is endless, because the curtain calls are always around the next corner.

Lying was no different. You're still the same actress, but the lies rolling off your tongue cater to your audience. The words change and so do the faces in the crowd, but the deception is the same at its roots. Your voice is natural, your eyes are honest, your wide smile is persuasive. The soliloquy is so seductive, so easy that you begin to believe and after awhile, you begin to feel at home in your act.

The trust nestled in Lulu's wide brown eyes, her unwillingness to believe her beloved big sister was anything more than a protector broke Casey Novak's heart. She held open her arms and Lulu snuggled right in, her den of brown curls nestled against Casey's chest. Casey's green eyes found Talon's brown ones and held onto the reassurance in them.

She was doing the right thing.

Then why did she feel like this was the beginning of a nightmare?

* * *

It was after Talon's visit, Lulu and Casey were sitting down to a modest yet emotionally satisfying supper of pepperoni pizza and Häagen-Dazs when the latter got the call. Olivia was on the line, offering her an invitation to a Friday night beer and peanuts fest with SVU's merry band of officers. She was going to decline, but Lulu talked her out of it.

"Elliot's gonna be there, right?"

She paled. "Lulu..."

"I'm just kidding, while you're out on the town you might wanna pick up a spare sense of humor."

"Funny," she reached up and placed her cold spoon on her little sister's nose.

"Jerk," Lulu erupted into a fit of giggles. She sobered and her face dissolved into seriousness. "You're not really interested in him, right?"

"We're friends, Lulu. Let it go."

"Whatever," she shrugged before standing up and dropping her empty dishes into the sink. "See you when you get back."

* * *

Olivia watched them over the rim of her beer bottle.

Detective Olivia Benson knew her partner like the back of her hand. A brother and sister type of thing, connected by badges instead of blood.

Elliot Stabler didn't take a breath she didn't know about. Their lives depended on it.

So when she observed the awkward glances and uneasy conversation shared between the male detective and a certain bottle blonde ADA, Olivia wondered why she didn't get the memo.

The night progressed and Munch sprouted a plethora of conspiracy theories, Fin sprouted a plethora of jokes at his old, skinny partner's expense. Cragen decided to spend the night in the company of a few files and a tub red licorice.

"Come on Munch, it's time to take your skinny ass home."

"My skinny ass is having a phenomenal time where it is."

"The only phenomenal thing I know about is the ass kicking you're gonna get if you puke in my car," Detective Tutuola hauled his partner to his feet and shoved him in the direction of the door. "Night guys."

"Looks like Munch isn't the only one that's gonna have one hell of a hangover in the morning," Olivia looked Casey Novak up and down. "Long day?"

Long day? That wasn't the half of it.

The first drink was to absolve her sins, the second was a distraction, she just sipped and sipped and sipped until the number dwindled along with her self-control. It was better than mulling over Talon, or worse—Elliot Stabler.

What was she thinking? She had absolutely no business going out with him. A few hours after...

Another drink was definitely in order.

"I think you've had enough."

Casey scowled at the woman across from her. Her eyes were watering, transforming Olivia's beautiful face into a liquid mosaic. "I'm having another drink," she signaled for another round, but Olivia grabbed her hand before the bartender could notice. Casey frowned. "Or not."

Elliot and Olivia exchanged looks. He smirked. "I'll drive her home."

Olivia arched her brow. "Is that a good idea?"

"Wow," he dragged out the "ow" and cocked his head. "What's that's supposed to mean?"

"I'm still here you know," Casey poked out her lip and leaned her faces into Olivia's personal space.

"I can smell," Olivia groaned, waving her hand in front of her nose.

"Okay, time to call it a night," Elliot smacked a few bills on the table and rose to his feet. He hooked his hands under her arms and pulled her to her feet.

The whole situation was surprisingly funny to Casey Novak, so she laughed. The bewildered, yet amused look on his face was also funny and so, she laughed again. Watching Olivia gather her coat and umbrella and clear a path through the Friday night crowd, now that was hilarious. She buried her head in his shoulder and continued her giggle fest.

The trio spilled into the street, Olivia in front and Elliot at Casey's side, like they were guarding an important witness. Elliot insisted on waiting until Olivia successfully hailed a cab, despite his partner's barrage of protests. Casey couldn't tell if he was simply being a gentlemen or if he was dreading being alone with her.

It was freezing out, though she only knew because she could feel Elliot shivering. It would start snowing soon. Maybe in a few weeks. She loved the snow when she was a kid. She and Trip would have snow fights and make snow angels until they both were sick with the flu. Her father would make them chicken soup and tell them stories about his time in Vietnam. Trip didn't have a father. He died when her big brother was a baby, two years before Evelyn met and sank her claws into Johnny Novak.

They were close: Trip, Casey, and her father. Then Evelyn decided to throw her weight around and send Trip to boarding school. Casey's relationship with her brother changed with the seasons and her love of the snow faded along with her brother's presence.

That made her want to cry, but she laughed instead.

Once Olivia was safe in a cab, Elliot led her to his car. He tucked her into the passengers seat, bundling her up in her coat and wrapping her hair around her neck as a makeshift scarf. He made his way into the driver's seat and immediately turned the key.

* * *

The sound of plastic vibrating against wood brought Lulu out of her biology induced slumber. Groaning, she wiped her eyes and surveyed the room. Her phone rested quietly on the coffee table. She staggered toward Casey's room, silently cursing her sister for leaving her phone behind. Pushing open the door, she made a beeline for the nightstand.

She picked up the phone, tossing it up and down like a baseball.

It was Elliot's phone.

In her sister's room.

She couldn't wait to hear Casey litigate her way out of this one.

* * *

The ride to her apartment was a silent one. A thick cloud of guilt hung over them. The intimacy of the situation, the strong desire to be further apart but closer together clung to them like a second skin. Both were grateful when the car jerked into a spot in front of her building.

She quickly pushed open the door, but he grabbed her wrist before she could tumble out. "We can't avoid this forever."

She knew he was right. It was the first coherent thought she had since they left the bar.

He held her gaze before what felt like hours before releasing his hold. She nodded and removed herself from the car. She slammed the door just as she saw him open his. "I don't need you to walk me up."

"I insist."

"That's what got us in trouble in the first place."

He almost looked hurt. "It was a mistake, then."

"Of course," her voice was light with obviousness. She frowned when it dawned on her that her sentiment wasn't mutual. "You're married, Elliot."

"Let me walk you up," he deflected.

"I'll be fine. Thanks for driving me home. I really appreciate it."

He stared at her blankly before letting out a harsh breath and shutting his door. As she watched him speed off, she could feel the vomit swirling in her stomach. She just wanted the warm, soft comfort of her own bed.

Unfortunately for the beautiful, yet horrendously intoxicated woman she would have to endure a long-winded lecture from a certain teenager.

"Have a good time?"

"Would you believe me if I said yes?" Casey didn't bother to stick around for her answer. She made a beeline for the bathroom and the beautiful bottle of aspirin it held.

Lulu of course had little decorum when it came to these type of situations. She followed Casey, practicing her speech on morality along the way. "Probably not," she admitted, moving along the previous conversation. "Elliot dropped you off?"

"He did."

"Kathy called while you guys were out."

Casey dropped the bottle of aspirin in the sink.

"Hey Casey?" she waited for her sister to turn around. "Catch."

She instinctively held her hand out, only to regret it when Elliot's phone landed in it.

* * *

Sorry about any grammatical and spellings errors. :)

**Down the yellow brick road: **Elliot discovers Casey's office isn't the best place to discuss their naked soiree in the shower. Tate moves forward with her plan. Talon takes matters into his own hands, much to our favorite ADA's chagrin.

Oh! You'll also find that history tends to repeat itself. Lulu has more in common with Casey than DNA. :)

And speaking of Lulu, should I hook her up with a love interest? I've been debating rather nor not doing so would be less of a great plot addition and more of a distraction, but I've yet to reach a concrete decision. Your feedback would be most appreciated!


	10. Habits

**A/N**: Thanks for the reviews guys! Sorry about the gap in updates. Here's a little something for you guys! Oh and spoilers for the episode "Blinded". I haven't seen that episode in quite awhile so if I'm a little off, forgive me. :)

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Habits**

Lulu folded her arms in front of her chest. She kept her eyes on the phone in her sister's hand, almost angry at herself for being unable to look Casey in the eye. She was afraid of the lack of remorse she'd seen in them before.

"Lulu, it's late..."

"Was it worth it?" the girl interrupted hotly.

Casey remained silent. She seemed to mull over the question. She found herself trying to determine if her—whatever one would call what happened with Elliot—deserved to be given value or rated, if its benefits out weighed the sum of guilt and shame she felt crawling around the bowels of her conscience.

She fell short when she realized she couldn't bring herself to name what happened with her married coworker in the very bathroom she was standing in pondering yet another lie to protect herself instead of the teenager in front of her.

Old habits died hard.

"Well?" Lulu pushed, her voice suddenly nervous.

Casey cringed at the hope dancing behind the question. Casey turned around and faced the mirror, though she was unable to meet the haggard green eyes of the woman staring back at her. Instead, she numbly brushed her fingers across the phone's cool metal before tucking it in the pocket of her slacks.

Staring down at the white sink she was gripping with both hands, Casey found herself ashamed of the sweet relief the lie brought to her tongue. "Nothing happened. He gave me a ride, we went over a case..."

"And what? You tripped, fell and landed on his..."

Casey whipped around, her eyes suddenly flashing. "Careful."

"Of what? Your pride? Your feelings? Because you've done a damn good job of screwing those up yourself."

"Lulu, I understand you're upset. Why, I have no idea because: nothing happened!"

Lulu let out a cynical laugh. "It's so easy for you isn't it?"

Casey groaned. "What is?"

"You really don't know?"

"Oh do tell me, 'ol 'enlightened one'."

"Lying, bending the rules to get what you want. As long as the end justifies the means, so long as its for the greater good, it doesn't matter who you have to step on, what you have to sacrifice, as long as..."

Casey didn't bother listening to the end of Lulu's tirade. Didn't have to. She just rubbed at her temple, massaging away the headache the truth in her little sister's words had given birth to.

"Goodnight."

Lulu silently stepped aside, shaking her head and smirking as she watched Casey make her way to her bedroom.

"Hey, Casey?"

She placed her forehead on the white door, the wood's frosty temperature pricked her skin and nestled comfortably in her bones. Rubbing her hands down her arms, she didn't bother to turn around.

"No sense in beating a dead horse, Lulu."

"Is this the only thing you're lying to me about?"

Casey closed her eyes and pushed open the door. "Yes."

* * *

Monday morning was colder than Casey Novak expected, though it had little to do with the weather.

She and Lulu said few words outside ones of necessity. Sure, it bothered her, seeing Lulu look at her the way she looked at Evelyn, but she welcomed the silence. She couldn't listen to her sister's lectures and answer her litany of questions. Maybe it was because she had no answers or logical reasoning to defend herself or maybe it was because of how afraid she was of the lack of fear inhibiting her from making the mess all over again.

Shivering, Casey tightly gripped the files in her hand and pushed open the door to her office.

"Morning counselor."

She let out a startled squeak, much to her dismay, before her fingers relaxed their grip on the files they'd been holding.

"Really? Really Elliot?" she groaned, stooping down to retrieve the folders that thankfully had not spit out any loose papers.

Elliot Stabler was sprawled out, making himself at home in her chair, feet up on her clean desk, hand behind his head, as he sat there, contemplating the world.

Her world.

He was so annoying.

"Hangover gone?"

She narrowed her eyes at him before shutting her office door. No need for the gossip mill to start manufacturing rumors based on the argument she knew was about to come. "Get your ass out of my chair."

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "At ease, Casey."

She shook her head. "It's too early, Elliot."

"Actually," he tugged at his tie. "This isn't a social call. I came to talk to you about Picard."

Her shoulders, which she hadn't realized were stiffened, suddenly relaxed. "What do you need?"

"I need you to understand that when we get a lead, we'll follow it."

"Fine," she said simply, though she frowned when she realized he had yet to get up.

He cleared his throat. "Still avoiding?"

She closed her eyes and allowed her self a slow, deep breath. Running her tongue across her teeth, she slowly opened her eyes, though she kept them trained on the grayness of the city running and breathing behind his head.

"I haven't had my coffee yet."

"Really?" a mischievous smiled took a hold of his face and waltzed across his eyes. "Well it just so happens," he bent down and produced two white paper cups from under her desk. "I brought you a little pick me up. Three sugars, a little bit of cream."

She couldn't help but smile. She folded her arms and placed her weight on her left side. "You're really annoying."

"Been dipping into my jacket again?"

She shook her head and reached for one of the cups. She sipped it slowly, gingerly watching him over the plastic rim. "I really don't wanna talk about this, Elliot," she looked over her shoulder toward the door, staring at the backwards, black letters announcing her job and her name. "Especially not here."

"Where then?" he said calmly tapping his hands against his cup. "I tried calling you. I even thought about stopping by."

"It's a good thing you didn't," she sighed. Swallowing, she eased closer to her desk and leaned against it. She reached into her pocket and shivered as his phone's chilling metal embraced her palm. She freed it from her pocket and held it out to him. "Lulu found it in my room."

He didn't immediately reach for it. "Does she know?"

"She suspects."

He cursed under his breath. He looked her up and down. "Are you going to tell her?"

"No."

He nodded. "One hell of a position to be in," he shook his head and cursed again. He scrubbed his fingers over his head. "She wouldn't mention this to Lizzie, would she?"

Her eyes widened. "That's probably the last thing she'd do. She's good at keeping secrets. She learned from the best."

He looked up at her. "You're right," he stood up and brushed off his slacks. "This can't happen again."

She scoffed. "So kind of you to notice."

Hadn't there been a sense of calm and decorum in his eyes a moment ago? The blue in them darkened to pit of black eyes and Casey found herself afraid to move for fear she may fall in. "I've noticed a lot," he said quietly.

They were in each other's personal space and neither felt compelled to move or bid the other farewell. He leaned forward and she didn't stop him.

The sound of a clearing throat, however, did.

"Well isn't this cozy?" Talon Abbot IV removed his Prada leather gloves and closed the door. "A piece of at advice: the next time you decide to go over a case, as you call it, it would behoove you to lock the door."

Casey whirled around. "What the hell are you doing here, Talon?"

"Me?" he smirked, this time removing his Loro Piana scarf. He glanced between the two of them. "I just came to talk."

Elliot didn't like the wealth and entitlement the other man oozed. Talon Abbot seemed to sweat puissance and a sickeningly arrogant sense of superiority and Elliot found himself wanting to smack it off the other man's face.

Talon seemed to sense it. "Casey and I need to talk. So Mr. Stabler, if you wouldn't mind."

Elliot folded his arms and pulled his lips back to expose two rows of perfect teeth. "I mind."

"Elliot it's fine."

He stared at her a moment before moving to leave. Brushing his shoulders against Talon's he stopped short of the door and turned around. "She doesn't owe you an explanation."

"Oh, like you don't owe your wife one."

Both of Elliot's hands suddenly became fists. "Excuse me?"

"The ring, or have you forgotten about it already?"

Elliot laughed. "I didn't get the memo: when did this become your business?"

Talon's eyes suddenly darkened, his jaw twitching as he closed the gap between him and the detective. With their noses touching he said: "Whatever concerns my little sister is my business. See, I happened to catch wind of your tête-à-tête. You want Lulu to keep your little secret, keep your family intact. I won't let you do that to her."

"We're as sick as our secrets, Talon," Elliot said. "You seem a little unhealthy."

"Stay away from Lulu."

Elliot shook his head. "Who here is a saint Talon, huh? Who here?"

And with that, Elliot step around the other man and went about his business.

"Lets get one thing straight..."

"I didn't sacrifice my entire life for this, Casey!"

"Talon..."

"You promised me you'd protect her."

She closed her eyes. "You aren't the only one who made sacrifices, Talon."

"No...no I'm just the one who has to live with them."

"And I don't?"

His eyes softened and he reached for her, feeling defeated when she shrugged away his touch. "I'm sorry."

"Every second of every day."

He smiled. "Fair enough. What time does Lulu get out of school? I'd like to see her before I return home."

"I'm probably going to regret doing this but," she walked around her desk and retrieved her cell phone. "I'm texting you her number. Keep in touch with her, but only if _she_ wants."

"I'm just trying to protect you, Casey."

"I don't need you to protect me."

"Old habits die hard." He brushed his fingers across her shoulders before leaving.

* * *

"It's not brain surgery Lizzie," Dickie reached over and picked piece of pepperoni off of his sister's plate. "You get Lulu to tutor Shane in physics and I don't post pictures of you in your birthday suit, flying around in my superman cape on Myspace."

"You do realize there are laws against child pornography?"

"And I'm sure the consequences for breaking them won't even amount to the punishment Dad's gonna dish out when he finds you how you've really been spending your Wednesdays...alone with Chad Westerbrook...at his house...with lack of supervision..."

"Okay!" she yelled, cringing as the eyes of several of her fellow students landed on her shoulders. "Okay, fine," she whispered, shoving her glasses up on her nose. "You have won this round, but remember, when you fall, I'll be waiting in the wind, ready to use your pain and suffering as ammunition for my blackmail gun."

"Pleasure doing business with you," Dickie reached across the table and ruffled her hair.

"Sorry to interrupt the bonding moment, but I suggest you guys do more eating and less talking. Lunch is almost over."

Dickie looked up from his tray, smiling between his sister and her best friend. "So, Lulu, you didn't happen to see Shane around, did you?"

"Uh, yeah," she tossed her tray onto the table before easing onto the bench. "He's in line, chatting up some guy."

Suddenly Dickie's eyes dimmed. Lulu and Lizzie followed his narrowed gaze to Shane and another guy talking by the metal doors separating the cafeteria from the hallway. Dickie folded his fingers into a fist before slamming it on the table.

"He promised me," Dickie said, slamming his fist again.

"Use your words, Dickie," Lizzie rolled her eyes and stuffed her fork in her mouth. Around a mouth full of applesauce, she asked: "Your boyfriend can't even have a conversation with someone else?"

"He isn't just someone else," Dickie managed through clinched teeth. "Brogan's his dealer."

Lulu returned her eyes to Brogan and Shane's conversation, a conversation the latter didn't seem to be enjoying.

"You told me he was getting clean," Lizzie shook her head.

"It's hard, you know, letting go of a coping mechanism that keeps you from really living with yourself."

Dickie looked sharply at her. "You're not into that too..."

Lulu shook her head vigorously. "No. I just...I just understand."

Dickie held her eyes a moment before he nodded, almost satisfied. He frowned. "Here he comes."

"Hey Richard," Shane smiled, playfully slapping his best friend upside the head. "Ladies."

Lizzie rolled her eyes and pointed to the seat next to Lulu. "Don't stand on ceremony."

Shane looked warily at Lulu who immediately patted the chair reassuringly.

"So, I finally found a solution to your physics problem."

"Really? You got somebody to hack into Mr. Sandoval's database and change my grade."

"I decided to take the legal route."

"That's debatable," Lizzie mumbled.

Dickie tossed a piece of stale crust at her before he continued. "I found you a tutor."

Lulu, who had no interest in the conversation, realized the Stabler twins had suddenly taken great interest in her face. "What? Oh, no. _Hell _no! Come on...Lizzie..."

"Oh come on, Lulu, what's the big deal?"

"What's the big...?"

Her words were suddenly devoured by the lack of air available to her lungs. Her eyes widened and she gripped at her chest, silently willing herself to calm down. Doing so proved to be difficult as the cafeteria decided to do a pirouette around their table.

"I'm really not all that bad of a guy," Shane smiled in her direction, unsuccessfully trying to bring calmness to the situation.

"Stop grinning like the idiot we know you are and get her a glass of water," Lizzie practically shoved her brother's friend out of his chair.

Wide eyed, Dickie watched the scene unfold, suddenly worried. "We can always find him another tutor, Lulu."

Shane returned with the water and she sipped it slowly all the while half annoyed at all the attention she was getting. Only when her breath returned to normal and the nausea abandoned her stomach did she try to speak. "Sorry about that."

"What the hell just happened?" Lizzie asked.

The ringing of Dickie's cell phone cut off her answer.

"Hey...Mom? Mom...Mom slow down. Dad? Shit...sorry...she's with me. We're coming. No, no we'll find Kathleen," he hung up the phone and shoved it into his pocket before throwing himself out of his chair. He barely looked at Lizzie. "Get your stuff. It's Dad. Mom says its bad."

Backpacks flew onto shoulders and the Stabler twins flew out of the cafeteria, their respective best friends on their heels.

* * *

Lulu and Shane watched as the Stabler siblings huddled around their father's partner, all waiting for their mother to push through the ER's double doors with news about their father.

"I shouldn't even be here," Shane kicked invisible dust with his dirty Chuck Taylors. "Mr. Stabler doesn't like me very much."

"You're here for Dickie."

"Richard," he corrected.

"What?" she turned to look at him, her brow arched.

"He likes to be called Richard. You know, how you like Lulu over to Tallulah."

"How'd you..."

His eyes lit up as the corners of his mouth twitched. "I know a lot of things."

"Except physics." She happened to look at the entrance and frowned at the sight that greeted her.

In came Casey Novak, power walk and poker face in tact, briefcase sashaying in her pale hand.

"Excuse me," Lulu nodded at Shane and made her way over to her big sister and used herself as a barrier between Casey and Elliot's family. "Why are you here?"

"Isn't it a little obvious?"

"You shouldn't be here."

"Lulu, not in the mood."

"Casey come on..."

"Lulu, really, not in the mood."

"I'm just saying, after what happen this weekend..."

Casey reached out and grabbed Lulu's shoulders, her nails dinging into the skin. "Let it go."

"How do you expect me to do that? Lizzie's my best friend."

Casey released her grip. "Not here, Lulu."

She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out and frowned at the number. "Whatever, I gotta go. Tell Lizzie to call me if she needs anything."

"Lulu...just wait..."

But she was already out the door.

Casey stepped over to the row of chairs, unaware that she'd piqued Olivia Benson's curiosity.

* * *

He was waiting on the steps of her building when she got home.

Lulu stopped and watched him get up.

"I'm going back home and I wanted to talk to you. That is, if you don't mind."

"I'm here, aren't I?"

He smiled. "Yes, I suppose you are. So, shall we do lunch?"

"Talon, what is it that you _really _want?"

His smile didn't fade. "Not one for pleasantries. You really are an Abbot. You want it straight, all right. There's some things about your sister and I that you need to know and I think I should be the one to tell you."

* * *

No you guys, I'm not pairing Lulu with Shane—or I might not. I don't know. I developed a soft spot for him after he showed up in "Turmoil" and I wanted to include him.

Oh and Lulu was having trouble breathing for a reason.

Tate and Evelyn aren't going anywhere and neither are the secrets Lulu and Casey are keeping from each other.

Well folks, thanks for reading. :)


	11. Guilt

**(Long)A/N: **Please, let me start with an apology: Sorry about not sending along review replies. I _am_ grateful for them, trust me. I've been extremely tired as of late so I've been posting—because I didn't want to leave you guys hanging—and running. Review replies will be on time from here on out. :)

I'll also be catching up on and reviewing my favorite stories, so authors, clean out your inboxes bitches. ;)

And last, but most certainly not least: I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my daughter Sutton who made her appearance the day after new years. :)

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: Guilt**

Talon instructed his driver to drop them at a quaint little café a few blocks east of Lulu and Casey's place.

The ride over had been a silent one. The clouds had given birth to a rainstorm and Lulu found herself content to stare out the window, taking notice of the thick rain waging war on the cluster of New Yorkers unlucky enough to still be outside. She watched as the water drops clumped on the tinted windows and slid downward, spitting on the car's coal black finish before making themselves at home on oil slick roads.

She hadn't even realized the ride had come to an end until she noticed Talon tipping the driver. Her brother barely looked at her as he got out and scampered over to her side of the car and pulled open the door. She absently filled his outstretched palm with her own and eased out of the car, shivering as the frigid Manhattan air creped beneath her scarf and tickled her neck.

Talon surprised her when he draped his coat over shoulders, grinning from ear to ear at her shock created by his gallantry. "It isn't dead, you know?"

"What?"

He winked. "Chivalry."

She rolled her eyes and ran her fingers over the coat's soft, pressed-cotton. "Aren't you cold?"

He scoffed. "I'm from Chicago. We invented cold."

"Try spending Christmas at the foot of Mont-Blanc. That, my dear brother, is cold."

Talon's eyes brightened, a whimsically wistful light glistered as the memory began to play.

Unfortunately, it vanished as quickly as it had come.

Lulu noticed. She instinctively reached for his hand, her brows knitted with concern. "You okay?"

He lowered his eyes, suddenly interested in the sidewalk. He caught a glimpse of her hand. He smiled when he realized it was the same color as his own.

He licked the remnants of the memory from his lips and fastened them into a charming smirk. "Always."

"Liar."

He jumped. She said it like she knew, like she knew what it was like.

A flash of raw pain dimmed his brown eyes, but Talon sobered quickly. "Your sister and I spent some time there. Being the adrenaline junkie that she is, she suggested we complete Vallée Blanche before we joined our parents for dinner."

"Isn't it like fifteen miles long?"

"A little over thirteen. Anyhow, I'd forgotten about its over nine thousand foot vertical drop. She, however, had not. Your sister likes to walk the line, toy with fear just enough to acknowledge its presence, but never allow it to conquer and control her life."

"I'm sorry, but Tate doesn't strike me as somebody all that deep."

The smirk returned. "Who said anything about Tate?"

Lulu stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, angering many a cold and wet New Yorker. She opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again. Clearing her throat, she managed: "You and Casey went skiing together?"

"Not only that, she saved my life."

"This I've got to hear."

With that he took her by the hand and led her into the café. They sipped hot chocolate and nibbled on toasted sandwiches as Talon Abbot told her about how they deviated from the course after the drop, about how they managed to get lost in the middle of a snow storm, about how Casey kept him awake and away from hypothermia's clutches by reciting baseball trivia.

However, Talon Abbot failed to mention a minute detail: that while listening to Casey Novak drone on and on about Joe DiMaggio's career stats, he accidentally fell in love with her.

* * *

Olivia caught her just as she was entering the elevator.

The lift's refulgent light billowed toward their eyes and Casey winced as the carriage rocked with a violent jolt of certitude. Without a word, Olivia leaned against the metal wall's unyielding cold and flipped the emergency switch, feeling her impatience swell. She took a few deep, quelling breaths, grateful for the car's now dim veil of light.

"He may never see again."

Casey swallowed and tucked her hands in her pockets. "I know," she replied, her tone solemnly simple.

The detective sighed, raking her fingers through her dark hair. "Still campaigning for team Picard?"

Casey shook her head and chuckled humorlessly. "I really don't wanna do this right now."

"Does it even bother you that he may never see his kids age, that he'll never see himself turn into an old man?" Olivia tugged at her ear, her eyes cold and her heart heavy. "Then again, maybe it's for the best. It's better that he can't see the guilt plastered on your face every time you look at him."

The younger woman took a step backward, her insecurities oozing from the heart unconsciously placed on her sleeve.

Olivia cleared her throat. "I overheard you and Lulu."

A menagerie of emotions stampeded in into the ADA's head as her breath lodged itself in her lungs.

"I don't know what you thought you heard, but whatever it was, I'll bet my ass it was none of your business." Casey finally managed.

Silently, Olivia grabbed the other woman's wrist before she could flip the emergency switch.

Casey tried to pull away, but her grip was hard and icy as a steel manacle. "What the hell is wrong with you?

Olivia tilted her head and studied the bottle blonde. Her eyes bedimmed with aggravation and her smile, now a thin razor blade, lacerated Casey's resolve. The younger woman bled out a shiver.

"How do you just turn you it off? Is there a switch inside of you that you flick that inhibits your morals, your compassion? I get it, Casey, I really do. This is less about saving Picard and more about shutting Elliot out because he got too close. How close, I don't know, not sure that I even want to. Do yourself a favor and stop indulging your own pain long enough to see the bridge you're about to burn. Once it's gone, you'll have a hell of a time trying to cross it and by then, he might not be waiting for you on the other side."

With that, Olivia released her and flicked the emergency switch, resuscitating the elevator.

* * *

Across town, Talon Abbot noticed a lot was absent in his conversations with his baby sister, despite the love he could feel himself growing for her.

During his stroll down memory lane, Talon realized just how much Lulu loved and trusted Casey. Love and pride danced in her eyes as she shared little tidbits from her new life with her big sister. He smiled as he remembered the protective posture she adopted when he mentioned her sister's name.

It dawned on him some things couldn't be brought up too soon. Some things had to be left unsaid for a while. A few days wasn't enough to peel off the mask and reveal the wounds and truths it protected.

Yet, Talon could not ignore the curiosity in Lulu's eyes. It was growing more and more with each moment, maturing with her every word. He desperately tried to avoid it, but something inside of him was weakening and he found the memories of a certain spring sitting on the tip of his tongue when he was close to her. The words threatened to spill out and he often found himself biting his lip to keep the floodgates closed.

Lulu swiped at her lips with a napkin and aimed a smirk across the table at her brother. "You have yet to tell me anything about 'the things going on between you and my sister', as you so vaguely put it."

Talon narrowed his eyes, his own smirk having dissolved into a condoling stare. "You deserve the truth."

"About?" her voice probed.

Her tone was light, but there was a vacuum that would definitely suck him in if he didn't watch himself.

Talon searched for the wrong words, the words that would give her nothing to hold onto. The right words, brimming with a story he wasn't prepared to swayed in front of him.

He covered his jaw, trying to hide its sudden twitch. "Your sister and her relationship with Elliot Stabler."

To his surprise, she laughed. "What the hell has that got to do with you?"

Talon's brown eyes flared. "I don't want you caught in the middle."

"It's not really my business."

It was his turn to laugh. "Like you'd let something so frivolous as respecting your sister's personal life stop you."

"Oh, okay. I see where you're coming from." Lulu bristled, steepling her fingers and resting her chin on her thumbs. She flashed him her usual all knowing smirk, believing she had his number. "Look, whatever problems you have with Casey are between the two of you. Don't take me out of the middle of one thing only to throw me smack dab in the middle of another."

"I know she wants you to keep her secret. It's highly inappropriate to say the least. That—whatever you choose to call it—has the potential to become quite nasty for all involved. You don't deserve that, Lulu."

She shrugged. "I'll handle it," she paused, looking him up and down. "And I don't wanna talk about this with you. I do, however, wanna know the real reason you're taking a sudden interest in my wellbeing."

"You're my little sister," he said casually.

"Bullshit. This has nothing to do with me, or Casey, or whomever she's screwing. This has something to do with the real reason you and Tate are falling all over each other to get close to me."

"You want the truth, then?"

"No, I want a dime bag and a Klondike."

"The truth is: rather you like it or not, _Tallulah, _you are an Abbot. There are certain aspects of this family that you do not understand. Things like what happens if Tate does or does not get what she wants," his tone sent a chill through her, like a memory of something cold and forbidding.

"Tate's a lot like our father: cunning, manipulative, and quite dangerous when she chooses to be. Our father believed women were a sub-species ill equipped to control the consortium our family had built. Unfortunately, Tate had our father so high on a pedestal, it's a wonder he didn't die of oxygen deprivation. She wanted nothing more than to follow in his footsteps. Suffice it to say, our father was not the least bit flattered. He spent our childhoods pitting my sister and I against each other while grooming me for the job she always wanted. Our father died and left me complete control of Abbot Pharmaceuticals, despite our less than wholesome relationship, much to Tate's chagrin. She's been vying for my job ever since."

"Okay, our father was a sexist Neanderthal and Tate resents the two of you for it. Again, what does this have to do with me?"

"Tate has called for the board to a hold a special election. She hopes to vote me out and have the board instate her as CEO. When our father died, he left you a significant amount of stock, which in turn gives you quite a stake in board matters. Evelyn has been casting your vote via proxy, as you're still a minor. Now that Casey has custody of you, she will cast your vote."

Understanding dawned on Lulu's face. "And she2's using me to get to my sister?"

"No, she's gassing you up so by the time she's finished, you'll be high enough on her crap to miss the wool being drawn over your eyes."

She digested his words, unsure of what to say or do.

She searched his face. His eyes were distant and sad.

"There's more, isn't there?"

"There's always more than meets the eye, Lulu."

They both knew he was pacifying her, but he was grateful that she let him.

Afterwards, he tossed a few bills on the table and had his driver drop her off at home. He wordlessly helped her out of the car and to her building's door.

As he turned to leave he felt her hand on his wrist. "Whatever it is, I can handle it."

He smiled sadly. "I doubt it."

Her eyes flashed. "Why can't you trust me?"

"Tell me Lulu, what do you know about guilt?

She kept her gaze straight ahead and her face blank as the wall she'd suddenly erected between them. "Enough."

He nodded and leveled her with an even glance. "Then you understand why I can't tell you."

Unfortunately, she understood all to well.

Someday she'd tell him what she'd done.

What she didn't know that on the day she actually did, they would realize they'd committed the same crime for the same reasons.

Until then, Talon just pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. He felt her muscles stiffen. He watched as her fist clinched defensively, ready for the attack she'd learned to expect. When she acknowledged it wasn't coming, she rested her head on his shoulder and promised to miss him.

* * *

Later that evening, Casey drove home on auto pilot, unaware of the trip, entering her apartment forty minutes later to find Lulu hunched over a steaming mug, poring over a book.

The kid looked like the poster child for teenage overachievers—blood-shot eyes, hair in a tangled ponytail, glasses scrunched up on her freckled nose, a mound of books spread out across the kitchen table.

Casey deposited her in keys in the basket in the hallway and frowned at the scent of freshly brewed coffee. They'd run out of the good stuff a while ago so she'd been forced to drink instant in the morning or stand in the excruciatingly long line at the coffee shop near the courthouse. She'd blamed the shortage of designer java on Lulu. She'd been pulling all nighters for days. Playing catch up, she'd said.

"How's the binge going?" Casey ruffled the girl's curls before sliding into the chair across from her.

She didn't even glance up. "So nice of you to come home."

Casey helped herself to a cheese ball from the assortment of study snacks Lulu had scattered about the table "I've been at the hospital."

"How is he? I haven't had a chance to talk to Lizzie." she looked up, hope alive and well in her expression.

Casey swallowed. "He may permanently lose his eyesight. "

She nodded, lowering her eyes to the table. She wasn't sure what to say, how to assuage her sister's guilt.

"I couldn't even go in and see him."

Lulu eased her eyes upward, carefully. She stared at the face across from her. Words were clearly necessary, but it was hard to decide which ones. "Maybe it was best you didn't."

Casey ran the pads of her fingers across her chin. "Probably."

Thick drops of rain sloshed against the living room window as the sisters set in a thicker silence.

"I talked to Talon," Lulu said, resuming the conversation. She shook her head, grinning as she lifted her cup to her lips. "He told me about Mont-Blanc."

Casey crossed her legs and uncrossed them, narrowed her eyes and widened them.

"He told me you saved his life," Lulu offered when her sister said nothing.

Casey stood and walked over to the window. She drew the pads of her fingers against the cool glass. "That all he tell you?"

"No."

Casey jumped.

"He told me about Tate trying to take over the company. He, however, didn't tell me what's got him walking on eggshells around the truth."

Lulu read Casey's silence, frowning at its fine print.

"I was hoping you could."

Casey couldn't bring herself to look the girl in the eye. "It's complicated."

"Maybe one of these days I'll tell you what keeps me up at night."

It had been a long day for both of them. Lulu yawned as she felt the awkward hush gird the room. She yawned as she tucked her books and binders back into her backpack, bidding her older sister goodnight.

Casey nodded as she watched her head for her room. She sighed when she felt the sharp pang of guilt kick against her chest.

* * *

**Ms. Novak **you, madam, are awesome for remembering the dead guy in chapter nine. His identity will become clearer very soon.

**Coming Attractions: **Casey puts her best foot forward in the courtroom, but she learns Elliot might not go as quietly as she'd like. Olivia confronts Elliot about whatever's happening between him and a certain ADA. Unfortunately someone over hears. Casey's dad comes to town and makes a startling discovery. Tate and Evelyn will stop at nothing to get what they want.

**Much, much later: **A tragedy strikes, forcing many a secret to be revealed.


	12. Gambit

**A/N: **I'm back and I bring with me a long update! Thanks for all the supportive feedback folks. It's always appreciated!

This chapter contains dialogue from the episode **Blinded**. Obviously, I don't own it. :)

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: Gambit**

_November 2007_

Awkward wasn't the right word.

Uncomfortable was too mild and humiliating was too severe.

Considering her motivation for visiting the recovering Elliot Stabler, Casey decided inappropriate would do the trick.

Yes, inappropriate worked. After all, when was it suitable to manipulate your love interest's inadequacies to save the life of a schizophrenic murderer?

She frowned.

Love interest? Where did that come from?

It was probably a not so subtle attempt on her conscience's part to prevent her from making a huge mistake. Unfortunately, Casey Novak seldom listened to anyone and sadly the voice of reason was not exempt.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she forced herself to knock. Her knock was gentle, almost apologetic, barely a hint of her knuckles against the redwood door's stained glass.

It took longer than normal, but he answered the door, clad in a form hugging grey t-shirt and black sweats.

His eyes widened and he stood opened mouth, his bright blue eyes seemingly looking through her.

"It's Casey," she said firmly, though her tone was uneasy.

"I know. I can see you. Come on in." He flashed her a welcoming smile and waved her inside.

"Sorry," she shook her head, more than half annoyed at her faux pas.

It strange being in the home he shared with his family. A few weeks ago they were naked and meshed together in her shower and now they were going though platonic maneuvers as if they'd never been in each other's personal space.

"Expecting a seeing eye dog and a cane?" he quipped, closing the front door before following her into the living room.

She paused, darting her green eyes around the room. She avoided the family pictures peppered on the walls. She accidentally caught hold of one featuring Lizzie and Lulu lounging in the yard, both annoyed at the photographer for disturbing their solitude.

This wasn't going to be easy.

Although she wasn't naïve enough to believe that it would be.

"Maybe," she shrugged, a little surprised by the shard of honesty trying to cut through her charade.

"To tell you the truth, I was too. Sit down," he waved at the small chair before lowering himself onto the couch. He sighed and sloppily flapped his hand in front of his eyes. "It's still a little blurry, but getting better though."

She kept her expression neutral. She designed her words before she spoke them. "Better enough to drag you into court?"

A knowing smirk brightened his features. "Hmm," he nodded slowly. "Olivia said you'd be coming by."

She groaned inwardly. "She didn't think you'd be up to it."

"I'm a big boy."

She leaned forward. "And you're sure you can handle facing Picard?"

He lowered his eyes as his face took on a pensive shadow. "You know I have a child on the way, right?" he nodded, a thin smile tugging at his lips. "That's scary enough…"

She listened numbly as he expressed his terror at the thought of being unable to see his unborn child. She found herself smiling with him as he confidently dismissed the notion of being effected by the man who'd set the events in motion.

His words were so raw, his tone and body language so relaxed and open.

It was then she realized he trusted her.

Elliot Stabler trusted her.

It was all too much.

She excused herself, blaming her hasty and graceless exit on paperwork.

She made her way down the stairs and into her car, managing to get to the mouth of the Queensboro Bridge before she broke down and cried.

* * *

Dickie strolled into the library, his face brightening when he noticed Lulu hunched over a textbook at one of the long corner tables.

He plunked his thick history book down, causing her to nearly jump out of her fluorescent green sweater. He held up his hands in mock surrender, smirking as her annoyance slit her brown eyes. "Shane. You seen him around?" he asked breezily.

She rolled her eyes and pushed a stray curl out of her line of vision. Shrugging, she returned her focus back to thermodynamics. "He skipped out on the physics test which sucks major elk balls because I spent two hours tutoring his ungrateful ass so he could at least pass it," she said without looking up.

"Yeah, that does suck," he laughed, genuinely amused. He paused when her death glare indicated she was not. Much to her not so silent annoyance, he helped himself to the chair across from her and leaned forward, studying the backwards text.

"I have I ever told you how much I admire your studiousness?" he grinned as he fished around his backpack. Pushing his history book aside, he slid his algebra book up to meet her physics book.

She groaned. "Do you pride yourself on being an idiot?"

"Of course. I can't begin to describe the joy I feel when I make luscious ladies like yourself feel superior."

Having had enough, she tossed her highlighter in her book. "What do you _want_?"

"I'll make you a deal…"

"Oh goody," she clapped her hands sarcastically. "I _love _those."

"…I'll get out of that bird's nest you call hair if you answer just one simple question."

She gritted her teeth, contemplating scooping his eyes out with her pencil. Deciding she wouldn't do so well in the tombs, she shook his hand. "Fine, but make it snappy."

"Man you're touchy today," he cleared his throat. "What do you think of Shane?"

"I don't."

"Oh come on, Lunatic, as bitchy and judgmental as you are, I know you've at least thought of something..."

"Gee, that'll inspire me to confess my deepest and darkest..."

"So your thoughts of Shane are dark _and _deep, eh? Is he dressed as Fabio and you're the sexually repressed maiden locked in the castle or are you the warrior woman and he's the sweaty, lowly slave...?"

"Do you want some lotion and a towel?"

"Okay, let's be serious here. I'm looking out for a friend here."

"I tutor the guy, that's all. So why don't you click your heels and take your bow and arrow elsewhere?"

"Your lips say no, but your eyes say yes."

Before she could respond, Lizzie appeared in front of their table, out of breath and blue eyes practically spilling from her face.

Dickie gave his sister a once over "The hell's wrong with you?"

"Gee, your concern touches me, _Dick_-wad_," _she rolled her eyes. "I would waste time by telling you to go fuck yourself with a rusty rake, but I have dire news."

Lulu's eyes flashed with concern. "You okay?"

"Oh, moi? I'm fine. It's Brogan that's not. I came out of psychology to be greeted with the lovely sight of our father's brothers in arms shoving Brogan against the wall and cuffing him. Apparently the charge is possession with intent to sell."

Dickie kept silent, considering the news. His face remained unreadable through out the process. Both girls exchanged worried glances when his expression hardened into fear.

He ran his fingers through his messy brown hair. "Shane's not here today."

Lulu didn't understand. "And…?"

"_And_, Shane skips school on the day of the physics test he's been freaking out over for weeks," Dickie said.

"Not mention his dealer gets popped in front of the entire school," Lizzie added.

"He snitched and now he's laying low."

"Not so loud, Lulu," he shushed, looking around the room. "He would've told me…"

"Maybe he didn't want you in the middle."

"Yeah," he huffed. "Maybe."

* * *

She'd actually gone through with it.

As the courtroom erupted with commotion, as Saul Picard frantically pleaded with his sister to ease the heavy burden on his conscience, as the judge gaveled for order, ADA Casey Novak stood in the middle of the circus, brows knitted together, red lips quivering remorsefully, green eyes filled with unshed tears, as she listened to the judge offer what she'd wanted all along—a mistrial.

She caught sight of Elliot dismounting from the witness stand.

She couldn't do it.

She _wouldn't _do it.

Sure, she'd imagined the look of anger and the disgust on his face. She'd resigned herself to it, but she hardened herself because she knew it was for the greater good.

Unfortunately, she failed to anticipate the unadulterated hurt nestled between the realization in his eyes.

Suddenly she felt sickeningly vulnerable. She sniffled as smoke snaked into her nose.

Oh, so that was the bridge Olivia was talking about.

In case of emergency, break left and don't look back. He caught her before she could extinguish the conversation before it started.

"What was that?"

"I don't know that you're talking about?" she replied woodenly.

She felt his hand on her arm before he touched her. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. You never wanted to try that guy."

"I tried this case to the best of my abilities."

"Cut the crap! You wanted Picard in the loony bin and you used me to put him there."

He stepped back, tripping on his own footing. Thankfully, Olivia was there to catch him as he fell. He bitterly shrugged away her touch. "I'm fine," he mumbled. Swallowing, he turned to face the ADA. "I thought I meant something to you?"

When she said nothing, he nodded and moved to leave. Stopping short of the door, he me her eyes. "Message received."

Casey knew immediately he was gone and the slamming of the courtroom doors had nothing to do with that knowledge. There was a sudden void in the room and the knowledge that she'd gotten what she wanted couldn't fill it.

* * *

Why he came to her, he'd never know.

She was judgmental, mordacious and brutally candid—and that was when she was in a good mood!

Shane Newsome watched as Lulu Abbot wore a hole in her living room carpet, pacing back and forth like a lookout.

It was, after all, his life that was at stake. Why was this girl, whom he barely knew outside of her knack for all things scientific, stalking around and yelling obscenities like it was the end of her world?

"I can't believe you had the _nerve _to get me in the middle of _your _crap!"

Oh, that was why.

He leapt up from her couch and joined her. Left and right, like the Marine he wanted to be.

Lulu had come home from school to a frantic Shane Newsome leaned against her apartment door as though he belonged there. She surprised them both when she let him in, begrudgingly offering him soda and a listening ear.

Not that she had much to listen to.

She'd spent the entire time cursing him out, threatening him with bodily harm and various other forms of physical torture.

"Why'd you come here?"

He paused, allowing himself enough time the swallow the Pepsi he'd barely gotten into his mouth. He tilted his head. "Oh, so now it's my turn to talk?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Or you could do us both a favor and get the hell out…"

Shane sighed. "I had nowhere else to go?"

"Uh…what about your best friend? Tall, brown hair, blue eyes…"

"…son of a cop who'd love to turn me over to the boys in blue? Yeah, right. Besides," he slouched and stretched his long legs under the coffee table. "I didn't want him caught in the middle."

She rolled her eyes. "So you take my life hostage instead?"

He had the decency to appear remorseful. "I'm sorry. I came because I knew this would be the last place they'd look. Look, I turned Brogan over to the cops. If he or his friends find out I set him up, they'll knock me off."

"Seriously, Shane, what do you expect me to do?"

"I don't know, help me?"

"How?" she couldn't keep the exasperation from her tone. "My sister's an ADA, the ADA assigned to Mr. Stabler's unit. If Casey finds you here..."

"How long until she comes home?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "It varies."

"They offered me rehab in exchange for my testimony against Brogan," his voice was calm and thoughtful. "I need that program, Lulu."

"I know…"

"You don't know anything! I steal from my own mother!" he shouted abruptly.

She jumped backward, almost tripping over the armchair she was standing in front of.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have yelled," he swallowed, removing his beanie and stuffing it in his pocket. "It's just…man, you should see the way she looks at me. Guilt…disgust…pain…the sadness. I mean, dude, I pawned her VCR. I would've pawned her wedding ring if she weren't wearing it. She has to sleep with her wallet in her bra so I won't raid it. Once…once she offered to buy me needles so at least I'd be safe. Do you have any idea what it was like hear your mother have to make that type of decision…?"

"That's why you rolled over on Brogan."

"Yeah," he affirmed. "I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror, knowing what I've done, what I continue to do. I don't even recognize myself. Do you know what that's like? To look yourself in the eye and not even know the person staring back at you?"

Lulu stared at him, opened her mouth to say something, but closed it and turned away.

Of course she knew.

She couldn't even turn off the light or close her eyes without reliving that night.

She looked up and met Shane's understanding blue eyes. "I didn't mean to open up old wounds."

She tried to smile, but failed miserably. "You didn't."

He nodded, deciding not to push. "It's not instantaneous."

"What?"

"Forgiveness. It starts with you," he smiled a crooked smile. "Narcotics Anonymous."

She nodded. "You can't run from it forever."

"Neither can you."

Shane's response died on his tongue when Lulu's cell phone howled from her bedroom loudly announcing the incoming call. Lulu frowned as Tate's number flashed across the caller ID.

"Hello Tallulah."

"I already told you, we shouldn't be talking. Casey said…"

"I'm aware of that, but my instincts suggest you'll disregard your sister's wishes when you hear what I have to say."

"I'm not in the mood for games."

"And neither am I. The last time we were in one another's company, you expressed interest in the past. I too am intrigued by the events of yesteryear. Especially the circumstances surrounding your hasty exit from Munich."

Lulu paled. "What…how'd you know…"

"Yes," Tate chuckled. "It seems you have a secret of your own. Perhaps we ought to discuss my knowledge of the matter and more importantly: what I plan to do with it."

She was already going for her keys. "Where do you wanna meet?"

"I'm downstairs. Do come quick. It's rather chilly out."

"I umm…I have to go…and…and so do you."

Shane watched her toss her phone and keys into her purse, frowning as she opened the front door and shoved him out of it.

"Are you okay?"

"Not in the slightest."

He touched her shoulder. "Anything I can do?"

"Yeah, go out the back way."

He nodded and trudged away.

Biting her lip, she called out to him before she stepped into the elevator and into the beginning of her worst nightmare. "Shane?"

"Yeah?"

"No more running."

He flashed her a dismal smile before stepping into the elevator.

* * *

Casey Novak stepped into the dimly lit squad room to be greeted by Olivia Benson's back.

Their spat in Casey's office had been one of epic proportions ending with an interesting conversation between Casey Novak and a livid Jack McCoy.

"Why'd you rat me out to the DA?" she tried to keep the anger out of her voice. It wasn't like she was surprised. Olivia wasn't one to go quietly.

Olivia turned around, mouth unfastened, brown eyes wide with bemusement. She remained silent for a beat, seemingly pondering an answer to the other woman's question. She made her way over to where Casey was standing, coffee in hand. "Because you threw the case."

"I had no choice after you sold Picard out to the Feds."

Olivia waved away the potential argument. "Casey…look, I'm as guilty as you are. You were right," she paused. "I…I wanted revenge."

The anger and betrayal slowly melted away at the other woman's avowal. "For Elliot," she nodded. "Is he okay?"

"He'll be back to work next week," she offered a polite smile. Hesitantly, she asked: "How about Picard?"

"The judge ruled him incompetent. Louisiana can't touch him now."

Olivia swallowed her anger at the news. "Do you think he'll ever get better?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. I thought Charlie would get better."

"What happened?"

Her calmness was almost mechanical, her voice an absent murmur as she told Olivia about cab that had taken her ex fiancé's life, about how she still blamed herself for his downward spiral.

"Casey," Olivia's voice vibrated with sympathy. "You had to save yourself."

A pregnant pause seeped into the room as her cell went off. She closed her eyes, the words illuminating yet another mistake.

"What?"

Casey swallowed. "Picard made a noose out of a shirt and tried to hang himself. You know…this is the third time of done this."

Olivia tiled her head. "What?"

"Chose the wrong person."

And with that she was gone.

* * *

Across town, Lulu sat in Tate's hotel room, barely touching her Chestnut soup.

Tate, on the other hand, was enjoying her filet of bison, savoring every morsel. She gingerly sipped her Pinot Grigio, luxuriating in the delight of watching Lulu squirm.

Lulu couldn't take it anymore. "How long have you known?"

"Oh, since the day we met," Tate answered cavalierly.

"Why string me along then?"

"Truthfully, Tallulah, I don't give a damn one way or another. The simple fact is: you have something I want. Unfortunately for you, this has proven to be the easiest way of getting it."

The tears stung at her eyes, but Lulu abbot refused to give the bitch the satisfaction of seeing them fall. "Who…who told you?"

"Why, me of course."

Lulu watched as her mouth languidly made her way down the penthouse stairs. She helped herself to a glass of wine and eased into the chaise across from her daughter.

"Mom…?"

Evelyn shook her head. "You didn't honestly think you'd get away with it, did you Dear?"

* * *

"Let it go, Olivia."

"Not that easy Elliot," she gratefully accepted the beer he held out to her. "The longer you delude yourself…"

He narrowed his eyes, helping himself to a glass of water. "I'm really not up for your life coach routine."

"Too bad," Olivia shrugged and took sip. "You should've left me on the porch."

"It's not to late."

"She feels guilty, Elliot."

"And?" he shouted, slamming his glass down. "I'm supposed to just go on my merry fucking away and forget that she used me to save that sick son of a bitch?"

"No, she used you to save Charlie."

He paused. "What?"

"He died, months ago. She couldn't save Charlie so she saved Picard and she sand bagged you to do it. Do I agree with her? Hell no. I do, however, understand what it's like to live your life so the loss someone else's actually means something."

"What do you expect me to do?"

"Talk to her."

He shook his head. "There's nothing there anymore. Casey and I...we made a mistake and it's over now. There's no sense in dwelling on something that wasn't there in the first place."

Richard Stabler nodded and wrenched himself out of the corner, wishing he didn't come straight home.

* * *

Casey was grateful she'd come home to an empty apartment and a fully stocked liquor cabinet.

She curled up on her couch, admiring the pity party her good buddy Jack Daniels was kind enough to throw for her.

As she staggered into her kitchen in search of another bottle, Casey realized home probably wasn't the best place to be.

Lulu was due there any minute and the last thing she needed was for Little Miss Morality to see her passed out in a pool of her own vomit and sorrow. At the end of the day, none of this would scrub her memory clean.

She'd chosen Picard over Elliot; just as she'd chosen herself over Charlie.

And look where that got her.

Alone.

Alone.

And wait…

Alone.

She should've learned the first time.

She'd chosen Talon and look where…

She didn't even want to think about that.

Thankfully whoever was knocking on her door was kind enough to rescue her.

"Who is it?" she managed, staggering toward the white mosaic she assumed was her front door.

She flung it open, too drunk to be embarrassed by the shock on her father's face.

"Daddy?"

"Talon called me," Johnny Novak frowned at his daughter's appearance. "He said you were facing dragons. I figured I'd bring you a sword."

He wasn't surprised when she launched herself into his open arms and immediately dissolved into tears.

He simply led her to the couch and held her as she cried.

* * *

Please excuse my grammatical errors. :)

Yes, this chapter was rather long, but I really needed to move the plot forward and introduce new characters and storylines.

**Just some of my usual vague previews:** Lulu's secret is the first to be exposed. Dickie confronts Lulu about what he overheard. Johnny Novak notices something amiss in his daughter's relationship with Lulu.

Casey, her father, and Lulu spend Thanksgiving with the Stablers at Kathleen's behest.

Elliot is none too happy with our favorite ADA, but when Tate's plan to ruin Casey's life takes a tragic turn, he's there to help pick up the pieces.


	13. Malignant

**A/N: **This is probably my longest update. The story got away from me and decided to tell itself. I tried to break it up into two parts, but I just wasn't feeling it in that format. Sorry! The good news is this chapter answers a lot of questions and introduces some new ones.

This chapter is also a little darker than others. The upside is Lulu's secret is revealed. The downside, Lulu's secret is revealed. Confused? Read and you'll understand.

Anyhow, thanks for the feedback everyone. It's always loved and appreciated. Shout out to everybody who follows this from the sidelines!

Shout out to **Jamrock, **my husband, everybody in my cell contacts, and [what I think is] the man at my Starbucks for listening to me whine about this chapter. I think I like it now. :)

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen: Malignant**

"You didn't expect to get away with it, did you dear?"

The nefarious smile lifting Evelyn Montgomery's lips was surprisingly nauseating to Tatum Abbot.

The miserable old bitch was actually _enjoying _herself.

Tate watched as her former stepmother languidly sipped her merlot, her green eyes licking Lulu's face like a calm flame.

"Tell me, Lulu. How much do you know about wine?" Evelyn asked placidly.

The confidence decorating the older woman's voice brought an uncharacteristic silence to Tate's lips and for once in her twenty-eight years, Tatum Abbot felt timorousness at the sight of tension.

"Oh for crying out loud," Tate tossed her fork into her plate and heaved herself upward. "Is this really necessary, Evelyn?"

Evelyn shrugged. "Mandatory? No. Inevitable? Of course. You see, Lulu here has yet to understand how rigorous the cover up business can be. You have to be rather conscientious, if you will. Meticulous so as not to miss a minute detail, for it is the smallest strand of the entire braid that has the power to unravel the operation."

Tate rolled her eyes. "You really ought to stop watching spy movies. What does that have to do with wine? Better yet, what does it have to do with what she…?"

"Oh, we'll get to that," There was actually a glint of reassurance in the older woman's eyes and Tate found herself content to wait. Evelyn leaned forward, relieving the wine bottle of its silver-resting place on the coffee table, before lifting the prized possession in the air with a steady hand. "This is a red wine, a merlot to be precise. Chateau Petrus Pomerol, 1993, nearly fourteen hundred dollars a bottle. It's an intensely concentrated, richly flavored and unique red wine. An incredible power, depth and richness yet a remarkable balance with penetrating aromas of ripe mulberry, black currant and fruit and spicy vanilla oak, setting it apart from many a fine wine."

"Evelyn," Tate clasped her hands in front of her middle and gritted her teeth. "There's no need to belabor the point. If we could just…"

"Like wines, Tate," Evelyn responded, blatantly ignoring the younger woman's impatience. "Secrets and their revelations are better with age."

Tate rolled her eyes, but offered nothing more.

"It's rather a ironic, isn't it Lulu? We were drinking this wine that very night. You were in your room, the three of us gathered in my husband's study mulling over a lucrative merger. 1993, the year you were born. Your personality, so richly flavored, your sense of humor with its black currant, your subtlety and shy demeanor coupled with your bold and brazen wit, what a remarkable balance. Funny how your personality was enmeshed in the very last drink Tucker Abernathy would have before you bashed him to death with your lamp."

An audible zing cascaded through every corner of Tate's being.

They had the little coward right where they wanted her and now, Tate was satisfied. Serenity seized Tate's soul as she found herself ready to view Evelyn's handy work.

Unfortunately, the sight before her was not one she was expecting.

Honestly, Tate was expecting tears.

A barrage of them, plump like drops of acid, thick and lethal, running down the little coward's freckle seasoned cheeks.

She anticipated the anguished cries of denial. She'd even hoped little Lulu would get on her knees and _beg _them to keep their mouths shut.

Instead, Tallulah Abbot remained in her chair in front of the penthouse's small dining table, her posture rigidly perfect, palms pressed gracefully against the table's cool glass top.

Part of Tate assumed she'd detached herself, isolated her conscience from the whole ordeal, that the girl's stillness was simply a thin veil designed to mask her fear of finally being caught. The Abbot looked for a flicker of remorse in the girl's blank canvass of a face. She was greeted with two vacant, desolate craters where the girl's eyes should've been.

Tate and Evelyn exchanged glances.

Evelyn had been eagerly awaiting the hollow cracking sound of her daughter's spirit breaking. She watched the teenager with cold, yet curious eyes, hope nestled tightly against her rage. Yet Lulu just sat, her dark eyes staring into the sea of lights outside the penthouse's windows.

Having had enough of the silence, Tate ignored the merlot and helped herself to the pinot grigio. She sipped her wine slowly and with sophistication, her eyes clouded with years worth of acrimony as she watched Lulu over the half moon of the glass's edge.

"Did you kill him?" Tate asked without looking at her.

Lulu's nod was slow and honest, though her eyes still evinced nothing of her thoughts.

"Why?"

"What's the point?" the girl replied hollowly. "You already know."

"Because I want to hear you say it!" the Abbot suddenly shouted, smacking her glass on the dining table in front of her. She wanted to shake the remorse from the girl. She wanted to see the deep regret she couldn't squeeze from her brother's conscience all those years ago. "I want to hear you admit what you did!"

Evelyn laughed humorlessly. "Tate, you mustn't let the past cloud your judgment. Anger is the consoler of fools."

"Oh shut up Evelyn!" she spat. She returned her bitter eyes to Lulu, who had yet to move an inch. "Does it even matter to you? He had children for crying out loud! You murdered a man in cold blood and you don't even have the decency to admit it! You're a coward, a disgrace to my family's name!"

Lulu remained calm, though against her will, the tears pooled at her eyelids. She could hear them begging her to allow them to fall, but she shook them away. "You have no idea what happened that night."

Tate folded her arms and tilted her head. "Then I suggest you enlighten me," she said coldly. "Because if you don't, all relevant authorities will be privy to your starring role in Tucker Abernathy's murder."

* * *

Casey woke up on her couch, groggy and achy. Past the row of empty beer and Jack bottles, she could see the faint silhouette of her father standing at the stove, no doubt brewing up a strong batch of coffee.

"Nice to see you awake," Johnny said evenly. Casey found herself grateful for the lack of judgment in her father's voice. She could hear him clamoring around in her cabinets. "Made you some coffee."

She nodded her head, but instantly regretted it.

"Need a barf bag?"

She smiled. He always did know her troubles before she did. "No, but that coffee's smelling better and better."

He emerged moments later with two steaming mugs. Placing one in her outstretched hand, he sat his on the coffee table before joining her on the couch. Giving her a once over, he shook his head and smirked. "You look like shit."

She just shrugged and sipped. "We look how we feel."

"Don't I know it?" he chuckled and stretched his full, six foot five frame until his feet were underneath the coffee table. "So, Blaze, what's got you sitting here on a Friday night, drinking yourself under the table?"

Casey just watched her father over the rim of the mug, grateful to have him with her. There was something about the former marine, major league smart ass, red headed bulldog with the dressing style of an old west sheriff, that made her feel as though everything would work out.

Johnny picked up one of the beer bottles and examined it with a doctor's eye. "Sweetwater Georgia Brown," he grinned and smacked his hand on his denim clad knee. "Well I'll be damned! Good 'ol southern brew. Well, girl, if you're gonna drink yourself into a deep abyss of denial, might as well do it right."

She couldn't look at him. "Talon told you everything."

"Hell no!" he declared darkly. "See, they never should've given us common folk caller ID. I don't have any friends with one eight hundred numbers and I sure don't have none at Abbot Manor or whatever the hell they call that damn asylum they like to believe's a home."

She arched her brow. "You said he called you."

He groaned. "Leave it to a piss drunk lawyer to catch you on a technicality. Here's how it went: you confided in your brother Tripp and so did Talon. Even though the boy ain't worth two dead flies smashed, Richie Rich had sense enough not to call me. He got word to Tripp and he got me on the horn."

"So you know about Tate and Talon and…"

"…and the married detective who puts the 'cop' in copulate…"

She blushed the color of his hair. "Daddy!"

"What?" he shrugged and took a swig of his coffee. "You stepped in shit, don't get bashful now that it's decided to stink."

"Poetic."

"Look, I ain't one of your fancy little literary professors. I'm me and I tell it like it is. That's the problem with kids from your generation. They wanna obscure everything, put a lid on it and store it someplace for later. There's a flaw in that type of logic, Blaze: later doesn't come. Everything comes to light at some point. Matter of fact, all this crap started with those damn Abbots. I told you to keep your narrow ass outta their mess…."

"What does Talon have to do with Elliot?"

"You think life is linear? Haven't you learned anything? History repeats itself. Talon was a wolf in sheep's clothing, still is. He may play the role of the good little Abbot, your knight in shining Prada, but there's something dark and ruthless inside of that boy. Just like Elliot may be a wonderful man, but this affair business is risky. It may be fabulous now, but underneath, there's something foul and at the end of the day, no matter how hard you try, the chickens always come home to roost."

"It only happened once…"

Johnny rolled his eyes. "Rationalize all you want. Now, it ain't for me to say what's right and wrong. You're a grown woman. I've just got one question: do you love him?"

She nearly spit out her coffee. "Love?"

"Nobody wastes this much time on a one night stand."

"I don't know," she kept it simple. She tilted her head. "Love is a waste of time."

"Bullshit, but I won't push. Just know that love is a human emotion. It ain't perfect or logical. It can be rather inconvenient and it rarely, if ever, heals all wounds."

She stiffened. "We aren't talking about Elliot, are we?"

Johnny nodded with a crooked smirk. "Oh, we are. Secrets, of all breeds, have a way of biting us in the ass, especially when we're depending on love and trust to keep them from turning to mush. From what I gather, Lulu loves you…"

"You know?"

"Not yet."

She breathed a sigh of relief.

He narrowed his eyes before he continued. "I do know Tate Abbot wants her derrière in the big chair and she's going to use whatever means necessary to get there. I know she's got something real on you and Talon and I know she's using it to keep the two of you on a leash. My advice to you is eliminate the middleman before shit gets nasty."

* * *

"Perhaps we should start at the beginning," Tate suggested. "You say I don't understand. All right, help me. Walk me through that night."

"What difference does it make, Tate?" Evelyn snapped. "She's admitted it, now we ought to proceed…"

"You seem to forget, Evelyn, you're not running this show. You would do well to remember your own crimes and the way you would feel if they became the subject of a vitriolic exposé."

"It's unnecessary…"

Tate scrutinized the older woman with narrowed eyes. "You wanted to make her squirm and yet you seem to be the only one indulging in the 'rigorous cover up business', as you so eloquently put it. Which leads me to wonder: what are you hiding?"

The two women held each other's gazes until the sound of Lulu's voice siphoned all the air from the room.

"It started with chocolate…"

* * *

It started with chocolate.

Before she wanted to be called Lulu Novak, she was Tallulah Abbot.

Little brown eyed Tallulah Abbot being raised by her mother and latest stepfather, Evelyn and Wilbur Montgomery.

Wilbur Montgomery had a friend, a friend called Tucker Abernathy. Tucker worked for her stepfather. Doing what, she'd never know. She just knew he had gray eyes like melted silver and he brought the best gifts.

He brought her chocolate pralines covered in edible twenty-four karat gold from Switzerland. She remembered her mother teasing him for spoiling her, saying the gift was much too expensive for an eight year old.

Uncle Tucker, with a voice like lemon drops, laughed it off.

Wilbur called his stepdaughter Tallie and in turn, so did Tucker. Tallulah despised the name. She'd come to favor 'Lulu', the name her big sister Casey scrawled in all of the birthday cards and presents she sent. However, when Tucker said it, she blushed and giggled and begged him to bring her more sweet treasures.

Tucker and Tallie. He said he liked the way the rhyme of their names sounded so rich on his tongue.

Like sugar and spice, and everything nice.

Soon, little Tallie wasn't so little anymore. Plaid jumpers and pastel dresses were replaced with jeans and band t-shirts. Brown curls were tucked under beanies and gathered into tight buns. She'd begun to fill out in once pole thin places, places twelve-year-old Tallie hid under baggie sweatshirts.

Her brown eyes had widened and her lips ripened, suddenly resembling peeled blood oranges.

Tucker wanted to hold her hand, to feel the warmth of her knee against his own. His kisses on her cheek were chaste enough to seem friendly, but long enough to make Tallie wish for the fancy chocolates he mysteriously stopped bringing.

She felt the Goosebumps erupt whenever he said her name, suddenly feeling grateful that he never called her Lulu. She couldn't let him desecrate that, not after he seemed to undress her every time he looked in her direction.

To the rest of the world, she was Lulu and that's what it said on her bedroom door, in big pastel letters Evelyn got her for her birthday from Pottery Barn, so she knew Tucker was lying when he said he'd mistaken it for the bathroom.

Before she was Lulu Novak, she was Tallie Abbot, restrained in her own bed. Hands that had once patted her head and pinched her cheeks flew to her mouth, her screams and protests hammering against their sweaty palms.

When she was Tallie, almost thirteen and afraid, she kicked and screamed, cried and begged. She winced as his breath tickled her neck, the smell of vanilla and fruit coupled with sweat sent nausea clawing up her throat. She could feel him fumbling with his zipper, his hands exploring places only her pediatrician had seen.

Time seemed to stop as she reached for the lamp on her nightstand. It shattered across his head and he crumpled to a lifeless pile in front of her bed.

Before she was Lulu Novak, Tallie Abbot kicked his face until her stepfather burst through the door and pulled her off.

She watched as Wilbur Montgomery dragged his friend's body from her room, leaving a crimson trail of regret to remind Tallie of what she'd done.

* * *

The silence was deafening as Lulu slowly opened her eyes. Her room in Munich receded into a black light as the objects of Tate's penthouse began to shimmer into view. She could feel Tate's eyes burning through her own and when she looked up, Lulu saw her sister's face twisted in a compassionate grimace.

She watched absently as Tate crossed the room, tissue box in hand. She wordlessly placed it in front of the girl and backed away.

"So it was an accident then?" The accusatory tone that littered Tate's earlier words had vanished to be replaced with one of leniency.

Lulu looked up at her with broken eyes. "I don't…I don't know. I just…he had to stop. The lamp was just spur of the moment, but…I kicked him and I kept doing it until I felt safe…everything's blurry, you know? But I wanted him to hurt." She nodded. "I meant to hurt him, but I never meant...I never meant to..."

Her words had dissolved into an erratic patch of sobs, swollen with a year's worth of pain and guilt.

Tate found herself compelled to move for her, but Evelyn grabbed her wrist. "Let go of me," she wrenched free and glared at the other woman.

Evelyn shook her head and chuckled. She searched the Abbot's eyes. "You're not buying this are you? She lives with a sex crimes prosecutor. She could've 'borrowed' that doe eyed victim bit out of one of Casey's files."

At the end of the day, Lulu was an asset: a means to an end, a pawn in Tatum Abbot's lifelong battle for her place on the Abbot throne.

Yet this girl, with her tear stained cheeks and fearful eyes was suddenly a person. A scared little person backed up against a wall Tate had helped Evelyn build.

"The minutia of that night is unimportant!"

The last of Tate's euphoria vanished, consumed by the savage hunger in Evelyn Montgomery's blue eyes.

"You knew?" her voice was shocked. "You knew what happened that night…"

"What difference does it make?"

Tate exploded. "What difference…you _knew! _You used me. You exploited my pain. You calculated my response. You knew the minute you told me what she'd done that the memories would come. You knew I would go after her to make up for how powerless I was that day."

A cool dispassion settled on Evelyn's once exquisite features. "I already told you: anger is the consoler of fools."

Out of the corner of her eye, Tate noticed Lulu standing up. "I really wanna go home."

"I'm sorry, but that isn't possible," Tate replied gently. "I could order you some…"

"I don't want your fucking food!" And suddenly, before she could stop herself, Lulu picked up her plate and hurled it against the wall. "I. Want. To. Go. Home!"

"And how long do you think 'home' will be there?" Evelyn shook her head. "Do you honestly think Casey will want to remain in your little fairytale once she realizes you're a murderer?"

"I had no choice," her voice was pleading. "I was scared!"

"You haven't begun to know what fear is," Evelyn snapped. She reached into the pocket of her suit coat and produced a small piece of green ceramic. She chuckled as Lulu's eyes bulged with recognition. "A piece of your lamp, decorated with your fingerprint and small speckle of Tucker's blood. Now, you wouldn't want the police to get their hands on this? Maybe your best friend's father and Casey's little play thing could be the one to escort you…."

Lulu scrubbed her face with her hands. "What do you want from me?"

"Gratitude would be nice! Wilbur and I have kept your secret for years! Wilbur and I stuck our necks out for you it's time for you to return the favor. All you have to do is ensure the board's vote goes in Tate's favor and I'll make all this go away."

"What's in it for you?"

Evelyn flashed a nasty, coy little smile that lifted her collagen filled lips. "Everything."

Lulu angled her head in her sister's direction, but Tate stopped her before she could speak.

"Perhaps I should tell her. Evelyn, might I suggest a drink in the bar?"

Evelyn smirked. "You haven't developed feelings…"

"Out!"

"Touchy, touchy," Evelyn moved for the door. "Play nice girls."

"Let's get this straight," Lulu said once her mother had gone. "You don't care about me. I get it, you want Talon's job. Fine, I'll shut up and let you have it. You don't have to cozy up to me."

"You're right, I don't care about you. I've always been—oh, what's a good word?—indifferent toward you. I knew you were no threat to me. My father never loved your mother and since you were a girl, he wouldn't have loved you either."

"You evil bitch."

Tate just shrugged. "It's the truth. Talon was the apple of our father's eye. He loved our brother more than life itself. Daddy wasted his life on Talon and love. You see, _my _love and loyalty lie with my father's legacy and I'll not allow anyone to get in my way. Money and power have yet to let me down. They've yet to make me feel less than, make me unworthy because of my gender. I bear you no ill will, Tallulah. Never have, until Evelyn told me what you'd done. I'm sorry, sorry about what you had to go through. However, I'm not sorry enough to abandon my plans."

Lulu's anger was surpassed by the lack of malice in her sister's voice. Her words were harsh and raw, but Lulu felt a rush of understanding flood between the two of them.

"You really loved your father, didn't you?"

She nodded, lips pursed, her eyes distant for a time. "Yes."

"And because you were a girl…"

"I was useless. I was going to marry a nice boy from an equally powerful family and be a glorified incubator. Even though I hated to see him go, Daddy's death freed me, but at the end of the day: Talon was his successor in every way."

Lulu shook her head. "Wow," she was truly dumbfounded. "All my life I thought I was missing something not having a connection with my father and you and Talon and the rest of the Abbots, but now I realize I really didn't know him. I don't know anything about you people. I guess I understand why you hate Talon so much. I mean, he represents everything you think you deserve, but can't have. I just don't get why do you have to destroy Casey and I to get back at him."

"Everybody has a weakness, Lulu. Your weakness was survival…"

"And yours?"

Tate reached out to stroke the girl's hair, much like they way she did when they first met, and for a split second, Lulu saw a speckle of tenderness. "I'd be a fool to tell you, wouldn't I?"

Lulu smiled softly. "A kid can hope."

"Talon really loves you, you know? More than he ever loved me. I don't know why I'm telling you this, but one day, when he comes to you with his hat in his hand, just know that he never meant to hurt you. Not every adult is like Evelyn. Hold onto that, even through the pain."

Lulu searched her sister's face, looking for the lie.

There wasn't one.

"If this is another one of your games…"

Just as quickly as Tate's compassion had come, it evaporated, leaving behind a conniving smirk. She reached under the coffee table and pulled out a tape recorder, one that had been swallowing every revelation of the evening.

"Good cop, bad cop," Lulu shook her head.

"Never trust an Abbot in sheep's clothing."

* * *

"Daddy, I love you and I know this is your way of staging an intervention, but I really don't need…"

"An insane person repeats their mistakes and expects a different outcome. After years under Charlie, I'd think you would've figured that out by now."

Casey narrowed her eyes. "Low blow, Daddy."

His eyes softened. "I'm not trying to hurt you, Blaze. It's just, part of you is so optimistic. No matter what, you expect everything will just bounce back."

"So, I'm just supposed to walk through life, cynical and weary of the world?"

"I'll admit, it's one hell of a bullet proof vest. I know it doesn't destroy the pain. It just softens the blow. Just like the Jack slopping around in your veins. There's nothing wrong with being the hopeful, loving person you are, but sometimes you have to learn that not everyone and everything can be fixed. Elliot's married and from what I gather, he has been for a long time. It isn't just the two of you, everybody's knee deep in this. He's betraying his wife, you're betraying everything you believe in, and Lulu's betraying her best friend…"

"I never meant for this to happen."

"I know," he said gently. "And one day that'll be enough, but betrayal has a way of eating people alive."

"What do you want me to do, Daddy?" she snapped, suddenly angry. "I pushed him away. The man can't stand the sight of me. It's over before it really started."

"And Lulu, when do you plan on being honest with her?"

She combed her fingers through her hair. "It's not that simple, Daddy."

"You knew that going in. Secrets are cancerous, Blaze. I know you love Lulu and I know whatever it is you're keeping from her's a doozie, but lying to her and yourself...it goes from a benign lie to a malignant tumor growing smack dab in the middle of your relationship. I know you regret..."

"You always told me 'a man with nothing to lose has nothing to live for'."

He rolled his eyes. "Must've been drunk at the time," they shared a long laugh before he sobered. "This whole arrangement just ain't right. Evelyn's got you raising that girl, burdening you with her responsibility…"

"She isn't a burden," she snapped coldly.

"It isn't your job to clean up your mother's messes…"

"He's right about that," a hard voice came from the doorway.

Casey practically jumped out of her skin. "When did you…?"

"Just now," Lulu shrugged off her jacket and dropped it across the armchair. She focused her eyes on Johnny Novak. "Nice to meet you."

He nodded and held open his arms. "My anger wasn't directed at you."

"I know," she laughed, though she hesitated a bit before she leaned into his embrace. "Evelyn doesn't bring out the best in people."

"Where have you been?" Casey sliced through the approaching batch of small talk.

"With Tate."

"I thought we agreed…"

"Evelyn was there."

Johnny grimaced and glanced at Casey. "You didn't tell me Cruella was running around."

"She got what she wanted." Lulu sank into the couch's soft cushions and plopped her feet up on the coffee. "The wicked witch's gone back to OZ, Dorothy. You and your little dog have nothing to worry about anymore."

Johnny shook his head. "One thing I know about your mother is she never goes quietly. I bet we're in for all types of creative harassment."

Casey arched her brow. "We?"

"Melba's back at the hotel," he answered, mentioning Casey's stepmother and his wife for the first time. "We're planning to stay through early December."

Lulu's eyes lit up for the first time. "You're staying for my birthday?"

"That's the plan."

"Yay! More gifts," Lulu blushed under Casey's warning glare. "Uncool?"

"Very."

"My apologies, Mr. Novak."

"Call me Pop, all the kids have taken to calling me that."

Lulu grinned. "Pop it is."

"And speaking of kids, Greg and his family won't be able to make it for the holiday, but they've agreed to pop in the day after. He's dying to see you and meet Lulu and his missus is dying to milk every Black Friday deal she can find."

Casey smiled at the mention of her half brother and his family. "It'll be nice to see them." She turned to Lulu. "So, Evelyn _and_ Tate, what did they want?"

Lulu stopped breathing. The guilt and shame returned, the sickness threatened to regurgitate the truth all over the room. The headache and the dizziness waltzed together as her heart slammed against her chest.

"Are you okay?"

Lulu looked up at her sister. "Evelyn and I had a fight, a fight I'm really not interested in talking about so if we could drop it that'd be great."

"Why was Tate...?"

"What part of 'drop it' didn't you understand?" She snapped abruptly and stood. In one fluid motion, she grabbed her coat and keys and moved for the front door. "That's your problem. You play games with people's boundaries and then get an attitude when people get pissed off. News flash: not everything in my life requires your input."

"Where are you going?"

"For a walk. I'll be where I'm at."

Casey watched open mouthed as Lulu threw herself out of their apartment. She arched her brow and folded her arms. "Well that was…special."

Johnny Novak said nothing, just stared at the recently slammed door.

"Daddy? What's the matter?"

"She has your mouth."

She shrugged. "I'll let her cool down and then I'll talk to her. " Besides, she's naturally a moody bitch, it's in our mitochondrial DNA."

He stiffened. "That's maternally inherited."

"Okay…"

"Casey," he said her name slowly, pronouncing every syllable. "She has your smile. Why does that girl have the smile you got from me?"

* * *

Richard Stabler strolled home, hands in his pockets, the soft sounds of South pouring from the iPod headphones he'd angrily jammed in his ears.

After his father's—he stopped in the middle of the snow cover sidewalk when he realized there was no adjective to describe his father's revelation.

Disgusting?

Check.

Treacherous?

Check check.

Abominable?

Score!

He resumed his stroll toward his home.

After his father's disgusting, abominable and treacherous divulgence of his betrayal —Perfect! Only, not really—Richard just grabbed his keys and took off. He ended up at the beach, sitting cross-legged in the sand, listening to the waves as the frigid tide licked at his shoes.

After everything, showing up and begging for his family back, losing them in the first place, all the water under the bridge—he decides to piss it all away?

He didn't understand his father and after everything he heard, he doubted he ever would.

He growled and kicked at a pile of snow.

What the hell was he thinking? He'd been so stupid. He actually believed his father had finally taken his head out of his ass and remembered what was really important.

And with Casey Novak?

Gross!

Well, she was kinda—still gross!

Not to mention she was Lulu's sister.

And speaking of Lulu...

Richard stopped in front of his porch, half annoyed when he noticed Lulu Abbot making herself at home on the wet stairs.

"Why are you here?"

Silence.

He rolled his eyes at the cord hanging limply in front of her chest. Stepping forward, he tapped her shoulder.

She jumped and ripped the headphones out of her ears. "Sorry. I just..."

He frowned when he heard her sniffle.

"I just..." she wiped her eyes. "Is Lizzie with you?"

He tilted his head. "Are you crying?"

She shook her head and let out of soft chuckle. "No, it's cold. My eyes water..." she paused, looking up at him. "You don't believe anything I'm saying."

"Not a word," he smiled, though it faded quickly. "Then again, I don't know what to believe anymore. Family, friends and enemies...you never know who's stabbing you in the back."

"Sounds like you've been reading too much Shakespeare."

He shrugged. "Whatever. So, you might as well come inside."

She simply nodded.

He helped her up and without so much as a word, he unlocked the door and led her into the living room.

"You want some hot chocolate or something?" he said finally. "You look kinda pale."

"I'm okay."

He scoffed. "So okay you decided to show up here and sit on my stairs?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I just really needed to get way. " she answered honestly. "Oh, hey, I saw Shane earlier."

"Yeah, I know," he said woodenly. "He called me from rehab, said you gave him a 'push'.

Lulu swallowed. There was something in his voice. "This is the part where you harangue me until I confess my undying love for Shane..."

He chuckled. "You know, Lulu, after today...other people's love lives don't mean anything to me."

She just nodded and peered around the house. It seemed too still. "Where is everybody?"

"Kathleen decided to take Lizzie and Mom to the movies. My father's at work."

She jumped.

His father.

Work.

His words were rolled together in a thick coat of disgust.

He knew.

She didn't know how, but he did.

"I overheard him and Olivia earlier," he answered her question. "He was going on and on about some 'mistake' he made with your sister. He said it was over, but by then my brain started working. A mistake is an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong. In order for something to be over, it had to start."

"Dickie…"

"So, I started coming up with these scenarios. Wrong would be forgetting to file a report. Misguided would be looking the other way while Olivia kicked down a door without a warrant. Wrong isn't taking your co-worker home and screwing her brains out in a fucking shower!"

"I know…"

His eyes flashed. "You _knew_? The fuck...for how long?"

"Not very..."

"So you've been hanging out with us while your sister drives a wrecking ball through our family. Really Lulu?"

"I'm really sorry."

"And? You're my sister's _best _friend. She loves you like a sister. Lizzie and I have our moments, but at the end of the day I want her to be happy. I thought she found something like Shane and I have, but all this time you and your sister have been laughing in our fucking faces."

"You don't have to rub it in, okay? It was a shitty thing to do and I feel bad about it. And I really do get why you're pissed, but I've had a _really_ bad day and I don't need your drama on top of my own."

"That's nice, but I really don't give six fucks about your feelings. Mom on the other hand…she's pregnant. Do you even care what this'll do to her?"

Lulu allowed herself a slow, deep breath. "Why are you bitching me out like this is my fault? Do I look like the Fuck Fairy? Did I pass out condoms and wave my magic wand? No! Casey and your dad know enough about the birds and bees to know that pollinating your co-worker is not a good look. So, yeah, I can get that you're morally outraged and all that other happy crap, but don't come whining to me like I set it all in motion."

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "What are we gonna do about this? This train's about to jump the tracks and I'm scared we can't do anything to stop it."

"They said it was over."

"Yeah, I know. He said your sister used him to save some guy named Charlie…or Picard. I don't remember, but if I know anything it's my father's nobody's pawn."

Lulu frowned. "What the hell does her ex-fiancé have to do with her banging your dad?"

"Wow, you have no decorum."

"Thanks."

"You really need to help me keep your sister away from my dad."

"What's she supposed to do? Where a chastity belt to work?"

"She wasn't supposed to be having sexy times with a married cop, so obviously doing what she's supposed to isn't her style."

"It'd be très awesome if you'd stop making Casey out to be some femme fatale."

"I know, it takes two to tango." He lifted up one of the couch pillows and covered his face. "I hate them for putting us in this position!"

"Technically you were eavesdropping."

"It's not everyday a guy comes home to hear his dad talking about banging his sister's best friend's sister."

Lulu winced. "It sounds grosser when you make it sound like an episode of Jerry Springer. Normally I'd be whining to Lizzie about the epic fail that is my life…"

He shot up. "You can't tell Lizzie…"

"Tell me what?"

Lulu and Dickie both remained still because if they turned around, Lizzie would see the guilt scrawled all over their faces.

* * *

**Coming up:** Lulu's secret isn't going anywhere. In fact, it'll be one of the few constants in her life—she just doesn't know it yet.

One of Casey's secrets will be revealed next chapter. On top of that, Casey and Elliot have words when he drops Lulu off.

Thanksgiving will be…special. Novaks+Stablers+the elephant in the room=Well...you're just gonna have to wait and see.

Tate tells Lulu what really triggered her response to Tucker's murder. Things get worse before they get better for Casey and Lulu.

And just to be vague: blood is thicker than water, but sometimes there just isn't enough.

And since I'm on a roll: Lulu takes a "vacation" with Tate's help.


	14. Extraction

**Thanks** for the feedback about this chapter's length! I really appreciate it! So, the general consensus among you was that the chapter be split into a two parter. So ordered!

**Before we begin just a few things about:**

**-**Review replies: I promise to send them! I value every form of feedback this story receives: comments, alerts, hits, etc. My free time's limited right now so if I don't respond immediately, please don't be offended or feel unappreciated! You've all been really great during my huge gap in updates and I don't want you to think your support goes unnoticed.

-This chapter: I'm posting its sixth revision and frankly, I'm still a little insecure about it. If something didn't click for you or you'd like to see something expanded on or maybe even eighty-sixed, let me know. I also have no beta so any editing fails being to me.

-the fact that this author's note took up 171 words: fail!

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen: Extraction**

"Casey," he said her name slowly, pronouncing every syllable. "She has your smile. Why does that girl have the smile you got from me?"

Wordlessly crossing the room, Casey made her way over to the living room window and pressed her face to the glass. She watched as the rainstorm and its angry winds unleashed their fury on the tree in front of her building. The sharp gusts ripped through the branches and absconded with the few leaves it had left, sending their orange bodies flying hither, thither, and yon.

The memories suddenly clawed at her mind, shredding her rationality and looting her sanity. She mashed her nose harder against the glass, hoping the frigid sensation would hinder her ability to remember. She didn't even hear her father cross the room, barely felt his hand on her shoulder. They both thought he was going to take her in his arms and hug all her troubles away, but he hesitated, and wrenched himself away in a manner that shocked and terrified them both. He settled on the arm of the recliner in front of the coffee table, his eyes stabbing her back like daggers.

Casey didn't have to look at her father to see the questions swirling in his eyes. She could practically hear the scenarios boiling in his mind as the fear settled in her chest. She was surprised, seeing as she had never been, nor thought she would ever be afraid of her father.

She finally forced herself away from the window and settled on the couch, hugging her knees to her chest. "I know you're angry..."

"You always were a right-brain kinda girl," his tone was surprisingly even. He looked her in the eye. "She ain't your sister, is she?"

"Yes, in every way that counts."

"She _ain't _your sister," he repeated, though the question had seeped from his words. His stare was tenaciously cold, his jaw rigidly set. "You're her mother."

"I gave birth to her. That's all. That's all there can be."

He recoiled as if she'd struck him. "How can you fix your lips to say somethin' like that?"

"I've been saying it half my life."

He dispensed a piercing look. His voice was tentative. "You believe it?"

"I don't have much of a choice."

That was met with silence. Bullshit, he knew.

"You're her mother."

"It's complicated."

She issued the statement as if it explained everything, as if it made up for over a decade worth of lies. Her father didn't move. Nor did she. They remained that way until he leaned toward the coffee table and retrieved one of its pictures: Lulu with Casey taken at Niagara Falls. Casey absently remembered Talon holding the same frame, his dark features stoic and unreadable as usual. Her father's expression was just as impassive as he combed Lulu's face, looking for Casey and even looking for himself.

"I don't see how I could've missed it," he kept his eyes on the photo. "There's a hell of a lotta Novak in her, I'll tell you that. Mouth, chin, those ears..." he lifted his head. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She surprised herself when she just shrugged. "I couldn't."

He suddenly slammed the frame back onto the coffee table. "That simple, huh?"

Not simple. Nothing in Casey's life was uncomplicated and unchallenging. It could be acquiescent, biddable on a good day, but never simple.

"Oh, yeah, _real _simple, Daddy," she shot off a sarcastic snicker. "Kids' stuff."

Shaking his head, he looked down at the frame again before brushing his thumb across Lulu's smiling face. When he looked up again, his eyes were uncharacteristically sad and vulnerable. "Why didn't you come to me, Blaze?"

Her voice caught. "You have no idea how much I wanted to."

"So why didn't you? You know I would've done..."

"There was nothing you could do!" she interrupted hotly. "Even if you wanted to. It wasn't just me, Daddy. There were other people involved. I couldn't abandon them."

"But you could abandon your daughter?"

Her eyes dropped down to his long, calloused fingers. When she was a child, her father's hands mesmerized and enraptured her. His fingers would form shapes to illustrate his words, as if language were an invisible musical instrument at his fingertips. She loved how expressive his hands were, the vast vocabulary of his gestures.

The man across from her wasn't the father she was used to, the one she'd idolized. His hands lacked their eloquent vibrancy. His eyes were barbed and candid, his mouth contorted with emotion. His normally soothing fingers curved into fists.

"Abbot," the name from his mouth, just above a whisper, shocked Casey's spine straight.

She didn't know what to say so she kept her eyes on his clinched fists.

Johnny Novak cleared his throat. "_He_ did this, didn't he?" he bashed his fist against the coffee table, sending its contents plummeting to the carpet. "I can't believe I didn't see it..."

"Dad..."

"...'93. Evelyn...she...she...whisked you off to Europe. You spent the summer and the fall semester of your senior year with her and you didn't even raise a stink. She took her, didn't she? That was her price for covering the whole mess up?"

"It's complicated..."

"Barely seventeen..." she looked up at him. Tears were streaming down his face. She wanted to be sick. "If he wasn't already dead, I'd kill the sum'bitch myself."

"You're fourteen years too late. Someone beat him to the punch, right Catherine?"

Neither of them heard the front door, nor were they aware they were being watched until they whirled and saw the ample silhouette in an exquisite navy suit leering at them from the corner of the room.

Casey felt her insides grow cold.

Evelyn smirked at Casey's nervousness as she looked between her cowboy of an ex-husband and their daughter. She peeled off her Chanel jacket and gingerly draped it over the back of the couch before helping herself to a seat. Picking up one of the beer bottles on the table, she examined the label and let out a disgusted harrumph before returning it and crossing her legs.

"You wouldn't happen to have any wine, would you?"

"Why are you here, Mother?"

"I'm sorry to have interrupted your little family reunion," she looked Johnny up and down. "John, you're looking exceptionally plebian."

Johnny gave his ex-wife a once over. He had to admit, the demented hellcat was still easy on the eyes. She was flawless in her Chanel suit and Christian Louboutin pumps. She was still milking her Vogue cover model looks that had turned his head all those years ago, though he was sure botox and some well-placed collagen took most of the credit.

When he met her she was a striking twenty-year-old widow with a winsome smile and a seductive allure. Stuck with the two-year-old outcome of her marriage to a prominent New England businessman thirty years her senior and swindled out millions by her husband's older children, Evelyn was in desperate need of a hero and an easy mark. Johnny Novak, fresh off his final tour in Vietnam and too grateful to be alive to see the wool being drawn over his eyes, fell for the okie-doke and played her knight in shinning armor until she cleaned him out and took off, saddling him with two young children and a mound of debt.

There was definitely unfinished business between them, his present concerns skyrocketing to the top of the list.

"Evelyn. Still married?" he snuck a glance at her wedding ring. "You hooked another one. Looks like playin' hide the digitalis at the convalescent home paid off."

"Okay, _wow._ You know what? I _really _don't have the stomach to watch you guys enjoy your special brand of foreplay. So again, Mother, why are you here?"

"Oh, I just came for a simple chat. However, when I heard you and this ne'er-do-well confabulating about the past and slandering my dearly departed ex-husband in the process, I figured I ought to join in."

"Look, I've had all the cat and mouse bullshit I can take! Now we can talk shit and swallow spit until we're all blue in the face, you can manipulate Casey until she looses her temper and slaps the collagen outta your lips, but the run around ain't gonna fly tonight! I know...I know you sat around twiddling your thumbs while that son of bitch you married raped my kid! I reckon you oughta come up with a damn good reason why I shouldn't haul your ass over to the nearest police station!"

Evelyn simply turned to her daughter. "Would you like to answer that or should I?"

* * *

"It's not everyday a guy comes home to hear his dad talking about banging his sister's best friend's sister."

Lulu winced. "It sounds grosser when you make it sound like an episode of Jerry Springer. Normally I'd be whining to Lizzie about the epic fail that is my life…"

He shot up. "You can't tell Lizzie…"

"Tell me what?"

Lulu and Dickie both remained still because if they turned around, Lizzie would see the guilt scrawled all over their faces.

"Hello? Tell me what?" she repeated, trudging further into the living room. "I know you guys hear me."

It was Dickie who lied first. "Shane's thinking about escaping from rehab. Lulu and I tried to talk him out of it, but things could go either way. You know how he is. The less people who know, the better."

"Why'd he come to you?"

Lulu genuinely shrugged. "I don't know. He showed up at my place before he turned himself into the cops. He told me about his plans, I told Dickie. The end."

Lizzie scrunched up her nose. "He's into you."

"I think he just needed an objective opinion."

Lizzie shot her friend an incredulous look. "Because you're so opened-mind..." Lashing them both with an exaggerated eye roll, she shrugged off her favorite tote, Lulu's birthday gift, before settling into the armchair across from the couch. Frowning at the uncomfortable looks Dickie and Lulu were exchanging, she mulled over their expressions, analyzing their awkward posture and anxious movements. "Come you guys, I'm not stupid. There's more to it than that."

"Why do you always have overdramatize everything?"

She stared at her brother through narrowed eyes. Yeah, something was definitely up with them.

Dickie was scrunched against one end of the couch, his head in his hands and his elbows drilling into his knees. Through his vacant expression Lizzie could see the cesspit of bubbling rage and disappointment. Lulu sat at the other end, her spine rigidly straight, hands folded neatly over the pillow in her lap. Her face was conveniently poised and Lizzie would've fallen for her hunky-dory routine if she weren't well versed in Lulu's brilliant use of theatrics.

"The hell's your problem?" Dickie hissed when one of armchair's pillows collided with his head. He snatched it off the floor and indignantly lobbed it at her face. "You're such a child sometimes."

"This is your fault, Dick-head," catching the pillow, she tossed it back at him before hurling a disgusted scowl between her brother and best friend. "Eww, Lulu! You screwed him, didn't you?"

Lulu looked genuinely confused. "What?" Suddenly her eyes bulged. "No! Oh _gawd _no. Shane? Come on, eww! Plus, I kinda get the hetroflexible vibe off of him. You know, the 'I dig chicks, but shit happens' kinda deal."

"Heroin addiction does that," Lizzie mumbled.

"Hey! That's my best friend you're talking about."

"You know, I buy you mopping about Shane and the king-size fail that is his existence, Dick-wad. Lulu, not so much."

"The dick-names...kinda overdone there, homes."

"If the Dick fits..." she smirked. "Anyway, Lulu...what's your deal? Crocodile tears aren't your style."

She frowned as she pawed away the remnants of her earlier crying fit, burying the salty evidence in her pores. "You know what? This game of Twenty Questions is giving me one hell of a borgasm so if we could—I don't know, move on?—that'd be awesome."

"Wow, defensive much?"

"Maybe I just don't wanna talk about it."

"Yeah? Then why are you here?

"I..."

"You know what?" Lizzie suddenly stood up and marched over to the couch, hauling a startled Lulu to her feet. "It's like Grand Central in here. Come on, we can watch TV in my room. I think the Packers are playing."

With that, Lizzie unceremoniously towed her upstairs and practically lobbed her best friend into her bedroom. "Okay," Lizzie closed the door and leaned against it, her arms folded and her eyes narrowed. "Wanna tell me what's really going on?"

* * *

"Damnit, I'm tired of the games! You turned a blind eye to what your husband was doing to my little girl so when I ask for an explanation, not only do I expect a damn good one, I deserve it!" Johnny pushed himself up to his full six feet, eight inches and charged toward the conniving little bitch, only to be run straight into Casey's outstretched arm. He wrenched out of her grasp, scowling down at her. "Why the hell are you protecting her, Blaze?"

"Good question. However, before we go any further," Evelyn looked at her daughter. "It would behoove you to remember what's at stake, Catherine."

"Her name's Casey," Johnny interjected heatedly.

"I wanted to call her Catherine. You were the one who insisted on that lowbrow, backwater name. " Evelyn gave her daughter a haughty once over. "Who knew she would grow into it."

"Well, la-di-la. Aren't we just so high and mighty? I wonder what your hoity-toity country club cronies'll think about you giving your old man the green light to defile your kid."

"That backwater accent of yours just butchers the English language. You would do well to invest in some elocution lessons," she rolled her eyes, curving her faux fleshy lips into a supercilious smirk. "As for you, _Casey,_ you've come this far. Don't ruin everything to spare your father's pristine image of you."

Johnny lunged at her. "Now, look-a-here, you..."

She lightly grabbed his arm and looked him in the eye. "Let it go, Daddy."

"Let it...let it _go? _How in the hell can you ask..."

"Because I wasn't raped," she swallowed the bile rising in her throat. "Abbot was many things, but an ephebophile wasn't one of them."

He arched his brow. "A what?"

"Someone who prefers adolescents..."

"You really need to get out of Sex Crimes," he paused, scoffed, and released an acrid chuckle. "Sex Crimes. It all makes sense."

"I wasn't raped, Daddy," she repeated softly.

"You don't have to lie on my account."

A pause, and then Johnny realized she wasn't lying. He lurched back, startled. He uncurled his fingers and jabbed his nails into his palms.

"Richie Rich," he hissed his nickname for Talon the son.

* * *

"I should call Casey and let her know I'm here."

"She's an overworked public servant with no social life. There's no rush."

"Lizzie, one more time: I. Am. Oh. Kay."

"Really? Could've fooled me," she looked Lulu up and down. "Is everything okay at home?"

Home.

_"And how long do you think 'home' will be there?" _Evelyn's voice invaded her daughter's thoughts_. "Do you honestly think Casey will want to remain in your little fairytale once she realizes you're a murderer?"_

Murderer.

She'd killed a man.

Regardless of what Tucker had tried to do to her, he was still a person and she'd bashed his head in like an animal.

She couldn't help but remember her stepfather dragging his business partner from the room. She and Evelyn had scrubbed the floor for days afterward, her stepfather even coming into help. Wilbur Montgomery went as far as to suggest Evelyn take her daughter away, that sleeping in their penthouse, let alone her bedroom was much too traumatic.

Evelyn, of course, dismissed the idea.

Lulu slept in her bedroom for another six months, with Tucker Abernathy slithering beneath her eyelids and snaking guilt into her nightmares.

Now she was sitting in a cop's house chatting up his daughter, pretending to be a normal teenager.

If they knew, if they knew what she'd done...

She hurled her eyes down to her hands, sickened by the sticky residue of Tucker Abernathy's blood taunting her from her fingertips.

"Where were you just then?"

"Oh," she blocked. "I was thinking..."

"About your mom..."

"Evelyn...my mom...is the Arch Douche. She and I had a fight. It was stupid. Nothing new there. I'm over it now."

"Yeah right," Lizzie shook her head and took Lulu by the hand, dragging her over to the bed and pulling her to sit down on the edge. "You know what? Don't take this the wrong way..."

"You do realize that indicates your subsequent statement can only be taken..."

"Whatever! _Anyway, _the last time you were with your mother you got all...well, you got kinda weird..."

"Weird?" she rolled her eyes. "That was deep."

"Okay, fine, you got all farouche."

"Better."

"Seriously, you've been kinda withdrawn lately. Yeah, I know you're allergic to healthy social interaction and all, but dude, you were starting to freak me out."

"You know what'd be really awesome? Maybe next time, instead of a degree in psychology, you could pull a rabbit out of your ass."

Lizzie socked her in the arm. "Stop deflecting."

"Asshole," Lulu rubbed the sore source of the impact and scowled. "I'm not...okay, fine, so I'm deflecting. It's just that...my mom and I have a lot of issues."

"Now you're stating the obvious."

"What do you want from me?

"I want you to trust me."

She wanted to. She wanted desperately to believe in the reliability and strength of another. Most of all, she wanted to unburden herself, to strip Trevor Abernathy of what little power he had left.

Unfortunately Lizzie wouldn't understand.

Nobody would.

Lizzie was staring, her head tilted as though she were trying to solve a puzzle. She looked like contestant on Wheel of Fortune, searching for the right letter, the right way to make Lulu spell it out for her.

Lulu didn't like silence and Lizzie's room now seemed to be full of it.

Trevor's face lurked, his curious hands and ultimatums danced in the absence of sound.

The room was too cold, but Lulu refused to shiver.

It was her fear that drove Trevor wild. Fear was Trevor's calloused fingers, like steel wool, sliding in places only her mother and doctor had seen. Fear was Trevor's whispered threats seeping into her bones and wrapping their tendrils around her lips.

Fear was what swung that lamp.

"If you don't wanna tell me..."

Lulu slowly turned to look at her. "No," she shook her head. "It's not that I don't want to. I can't. Look, I've been on my own for most of my life. My mom was there, but for the most part: I was responsible for myself. You're the first real friend I've had. I'm just not used to this whole 'lets paint each others nails and swap secrets' deal. Things between Evelyn...my mom...we just don't get along. By the time I came around, she was done parenting. I'm just something to tie her to the Abbots and she's never been shy about it. I guess, as used to it as I am, it still hurts that my own mother never even want me."


	15. Facets

The drama continues...

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen: Facets**

"Talon..." Johnny's fingers twitched. He returned to the armchair and sat on his hands so they couldn't be manipulated by his temper. He glanced at Evelyn who was sipping Casey's good merlot, thoroughly enjoying herself. "And _you_. You get off on being so right and righteous all the time. You know everything about everything, right? I wonder why you didn't know your twenty year old step son was taking advantage of your vulnerable teenage daughter?"

Evelyn actually had the gull to look offended over her glass's round lip. "Vulnerable? Please. From the moment she saw Talon she made herself the subject of that boy's prurient curiosity. He stupidly gave into his carnal desires and when he impregnated her, I was kind enough to step in and keep the mistake from evolving into an ignominious scandal."

"Will you kill that romance novel babble and just admit it? You and Talon forced Casey into a cover up..."

Casey just looked at her father. He was persistent, relentless in his prying into a part of her life he didn't and probably couldn't understand. Maybe he deserved to know, maybe he didn't, but she decided to give him just enough to mollify him.

It was safer that way.

"I know...I know it would be easier for you if I said all of it happened without my consent, but Talon," she looked him in the eye and swallowed the humiliation slithering in her stomach like an angry snake. "He didn't force me...he didn't force me into anything..."

Johnny gingerly unzipped his moral outrage, exposing raw compassion to his daughter's doleful gaze. Even then she couldn't tell what he was really feeling. Was he angry? Ashamed? Sad maybe? Was he trying to get a handle on her, trying to figure out what normal, self respecting girl would sleep with her stepbrother? How he raised the kind of daughter that would let somebody take away her baby?

"He might not have physically forced himself on you, but he sure as hell took advantage of a impressionable girl! Damnit!" he hung his head. "I knew I shouldn't have let this crazy bitch carry you up to that damn...that damn nut farm! _Sixteen_. He was a grown man and you were a little girl under his family's thumb..."

"It wasn't medieval Europe, John. Nobody forced the little peasant girl to forsake her child simply because Lord Talon owned the castle and couldn't bare the disgrace a bastard child would bring on his family. The truth is: Tallulah's worth a pretty penny. Of course I wasn't thrilled about Catherine's...indiscretion...however when I found out the little thing gestating inside of her entitled me to millions, I decided to go with the flow."

His voice constricted, barely controlled and hardly above a whisper, "Do you honestly expect me to believe this line of crap?"

Casey combed her hands through her hair and groaned. "I know you're hurt and disappointed. The respectable, decent image of your kid just blew up in smoke. I slept with my stepbrother and dumped the resulting kid on my mother and went on with my life. I understand, I really do, but its not black and white and the blame's on both sides of blanket. It wasn't some Cruel Intentions style erotic melodrama. It was one unfortunate night. Do you have any idea why I slept with Talon? Do you have any idea how upset I had to be do something like that?"

He cringed, not really interested in skipping further down the yellow brick road of his only daughter's aberrant sexual behavior. "No Casey, no I don't. And I don't—I don't think I really need to."

She was suddenly bitter. "You opened the door, don't close it because you don't like what's on the other side. I was—_we_ were drunk and I was really, really angry, mostly with myself for being stupid enough to let Evelyn piss me off. She made me feel so small, so worthless and expendable..."

"It wasn't exactly difficult..."

Casey glared at her mother before continuing. "...so I started drinking whiskey because it's one hell of an anesthetic. That's the one thing _she _taughtme. Talon...Talon and his father...they were no different from Evelyn and I. That man belittled and maligned that kid straight into the bottom of a bottle. We sat in my room and commiserated on the hell that was life under the Abbot roof. Whiskey and self-pity don't mix and one thing led to another. As sick and twisted as it sounds, we were hurt and alone. We needed something and unfortunately, we found it with each other."

His voice constricted, barely controlled and hardly above a whisper "And then you turned up pregnant."

"Yes," she sighed.

"Damn, I need a drink," he threw himself into the kitchen and flung open the liquor cabinet above the stove, relieving the shelf of a fifth of Jack Daniels. He returned to the armchair, unscrewed the cap, and skulled the bottle in a single go. Sighing, he leaned back in the chair and ran his fingers through his fiery red hair. "Man, this is heavy."

Casey frowned at the empty bottle in his lap. Her father was renowned for his drinking prowess, though she hated herself for driving him to the bottle.

"I wish you didn't have to find out this way."

"Yeah? You wish? Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first! How long were to plain' to wait?" he dropped his head in his hands and kept his eyes closed, unwilling to look at her. "I just..._man_...I gotta know: why'd you give this woman your baby? You're no stranger to this crazy bitch and her neurotic ways. She's a borderline sociopath. Why would you trust that woman with your flesh and blood?"

"Probably the same reason you trusted her with yours."

His head shot up. The ripened rancor in her tone shook him. He swallowed, the past threatening to over take him. "So she blackmailed you then?"

"Why can't you leave it alone, John?" Evelyn shook her head. "You're daughter's a licentious piece of trash. Sorry you're just getting the memo, but the past is the past. Dissecting it isn't going to change anything. Go home. There's nothing you can do for her."

"You know what, Evelyn? You _really_ wanna shut your trap because I'm about this close..." he measured out a tiny space of air between his erect thumb and forefinger. "From knockin' your narrow ass clear 'cross this room. Now Tate, Tate found out about Lulu, didn't she? That's what she's holding over Richie Rich's head. Scandals are bad for business aren't they? That doesn't explain how Evelyn got her manicured mitts on your kid in the first place. What does she have on you, Blaze? Whatever it is I can..."

Casey loudly released the breath she couldn't remember holding. "I can't do this with you right now!"

"Damnit when then?" he stood up again and grabbed her by the shoulders. "This is bullshit! It's bullshit and you know it! Damnit Casey, I know you. I _know_ you, okay? You wouldn't roll over and pass your kid off on a humbug, especially not to her. You hated your mother. _Hated_ her. You'd sooner swallow glass than hand your kid over to that shrew. As spineless as Richie Rich is, even he wouldn't subject an innocent baby to Evelyn's special brand of parenting and by then, Talon's father was dead. Whatever power Evelyn had over him was buried with Abbot. That boy could've easily told her where to go and how to get there. All of which begs the question..."

"Leave it alone, Daddy!"

"No! No, I won't leave it alone! How could you allow your little girl to lie up under a woman who you _knew_ would treat her like garbage?"

"Fine. You want the real deal? Here it goes: I gave Evelyn my baby because it was a convenient for everyone involved. She needed a kid to satisfy the stipulation in her husband's will, Talon and his family's company couldn't handle the scandal after his father's death, and I needed the freedom to move on with my life without a constant reminder of the worst night of my life cramping my style..."

"You can spoon feed me all the cold-hearted, Cruella DeNovak bullshit you wanna, but I ain't swallowin', Blaze. You and I both know there's more to this story and I bet my reputation this lowdown bitch's gotta staring role in it. "

"Sorry, John, there's a two dollar minimum," Evelyn winked at him. "You really need to learn when to fold."

Thankfully, the phone rang. He jumped up and swooped down on it, refusing Casey the out she was desperate for.

" 'Yello? Lulu? She's indisposed. You're bedding down with the Stablers for the night, huh? Yeah, uh-huh, I'll tell her. Same to you. All righty."

He hung up and circled the room, trying to piece together the details. He asked about Talon and Tate, Evelyn and Talon the father. He went on and on about how he didn't understand how she could look Lulu in the eye and allow her to believe she was the daughter of a neglectful, unaffectionate mother—that she was unwanted and equally unloved. He didn't understand how she could crawl into bed with her stepbrother and turn herself into a glorified incubator. He didn't understand and she couldn't help him because she barely understood.

Telling the truth had become a luxury she couldn't afford. Being deceitful had become ethical. Honesty was hurtful so lying had morphed into a good deed. Her secrets had become so entwined with her identity that she feared releasing them would sever a piece of her spirit.

It had taken some time, but Johnny Novak didn't have the strength to lecture his daughter anymore. He gathered up his coat and his pain, hugging her before heading for the door. He stopped short of opening it, aiming his defeated gaze in her direction. "I know I can't tell you what to do. Never really could, I reckon. I just...I suggest you tell Lulu before Tate and Evelyn can use it as a weapon. She may never forgive you if she hears it from someone else."

"Well, well, well." Evelyn began to clap when the door closed. "That was a brilliant performance."

"Go fuck yourself, Mother."

"No need to be so crass. I just can't believe you let your precious daddy in on the fact that you spread your legs for your stepbrother. No, no the best part," she chortled mockingly. "The best part was the spiel about you callously dumping your little brown eyed consequence in my lap. Did you see the look on his face? He looked so crestfallen, so outraged. _That _was good. I couldn't even get that kind of agony out of him when I cleaned out his bank account and sullied his credit. Though, I can't decide which was worse for you, your lies or that he was willing to believe them."

"Congratulations Mother, you've stooped to an all time low. And for the record: I don't need you to tell me what and who I am. You can't make me feel worse than I already do."

"Wanna bet? You need to make sure Tallulah votes in Tate's favor when the time comes or I'm going to tell your sweet little bastard exactly where she came from. Tell me Casey, how do you think _Loo Loo_'s going to feel when she finds out her half brother and sister are really her parents? For some unfathomable reason, that girl adores you. It's going to break when we she finds out just who and what you are. Then again," she tilted her head and tapped her perfectly manicured fingers against her chin. "You and I both know that's the least of your worries. All Tate and I have to do is make some very compelling information available to the relevant authorities and your life's over. Think about what that'll do to _Loo Loo._"

"Get out!"

She chuckled as she stood up from the couch and sashayed toward the door, leaving her empty wine glass on the coffee table. Grinning, she tossed over her shoulder: "You know, I do believe prison orange would clash with your law career as well as your cheek bones."

* * *

That night, Lulu dreamt of chocolate.

The sweet, brown sludge poured from Tucker Abernathy's hands and dripped onto her body, the thick droplets cruel and scalding.

He stood over her, watching and smiling. A part of his skull was missing, his head disturbingly flat on one side. His right eye dangled from its shattered socket, back and forth, like a pendulum. He peeled back his rotting lips and exposed a broken smile.

_You're so beautiful. _

She backed away and he reached for her, still grinning.

_We were friends once. _

He laughed at her futile attempts to shove him away. His hands thrust out and grabbed her face, his viscid tendrils occluding her pores.

"Don't touch me!"

_We were friends once, Lulu. Why'd you do this to me?_

"Lulu."

The voice was as gentle and urgent as the warm hand shaking her shoulder. Lulu's eyes flew open and as the familiar objects of Lizzie's bedroom shimmered into view, she slid away from the foreign touch, effortlessly as hot oil from a skillet, and sat up in the trundle bed beside Lizzie's.

"Lulu!"

Elliot Stabler's voice was a distant chime of reality in the chaotic fog of her mind. She shook her head to clear it.

She wasn't in Munich.

She was at the Stablers and the family patriarch was standing over her, scrutinizing her like she was a whack job.

Which wasn't too far fetched.

Using her fists to scrub the remainder of the nightmare from her eyes, she stretched free of the cocoon of rumpled sheets and blankets and surveyed the room. Lizzie's bed was empty and unmade. The smell of coffee and bacon snaked into her nose. A yellow sliver of the sunlight peaked through the thick grey clouds outside of the window beside her head.

"What time is it?" she mumbled groggily.

"Eleven," he surveyed his daughter's room, making a mental reminder to nag her about cleaning the place up. "Lizzie and Kathy weren't too subtle about me letting you sleep in, but I'm taking a cab into the city. Figured you'd wanna save a few bucks on your easy pass."

"Oh...uh...sure, yeah that'd be great," she pushed her upright and tumbled to her feet. "Thanks."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," she released a nonchalant laugh, rubbing some warmth into her bare shoulders. "It was just a weird dream."

He smiled disarmingly, allowing her to lie. "Your plate's in the microwave. Come down when you're ready," he pulled open the door, but turned around short of leaving. "If something's bothering you, you can talk to me."

"Thanks," she tried to smile, tried to look normal. She could still feel Tucker's sticky hands all over her. She rubbed her arms again to scour him away. "I'm fine, though. Really."

Breakfast went by without a hitch. She kept up normal conversation, offering run-of-the-mill responses to the Stablers' typical table chatter. She even managed not to return Dickie's awkward glances or be bothered by Lizzie's concerned looks. She helped Kathy with the dishes afterwards, careful not the slip up in front of Elliot's wife.

"Hey Lulu, got a second?"

Kathleen had cornered her on her way out. "Yeah," Lulu glanced beyond the open front door, watching Elliot stubbornly fend off Kathy's attempt to help him into the taxi. "What's up?"

"What are you doing for Turkey Day?"

"Casey's dad's visiting with his wife. Since shes's not much of a cook and her dad's staying at a hotel, we'll probably raid a restaurant or something..."

"Everybody deserves a home cooked meal."

Lulu shrugged. "We take comfort in the unconventional."

"Why don't you guys come here?"

"Uh," Lulu frowned, shifting her weight from her right foot to her left. "That's really nice of you, but..."

"Oh, come on," Kathleen gave her shoulder a light shove. "The four of you won't really put a dent in anything. Besides, my dad's been pretty bummed out, you know, after everything. He's not the mushy type, but being surrounded by family and friends might re-light the fire under his ass. Olivia's coming too, if she doesn't get called in. I was gonna see if I could get Munch and Fin on the bandwagon. You've been like a sister to Lizzie, she'd be pretty stoked if you showed."

Against her better judgment, Lulu nodded her head. "I'll ask Casey, because you know, it's really up to her."

Kathleen reached in and tugged of one Lulu's curls. "You do that."

* * *

The ride into Manhattan had been relatively silent, save for the classic rock playing on the radio and the light gurgle of the cab's engine. Elliot and Lulu kept up a civil conversation: just enough to be polite, brief enough to ward off unpleasantries.

"Is your sister home?" Elliot asked when they pulled up to her building. He tipped the driver and moved to get out.

"You don't have to walk me up," she kept her tone light. "Casey probably has the only rent controlled apartment with sane tenants."

He half smiled. "I'd feel better."

"I bet you would," she mumbled, opening her door and tumbling out.

The elevator ride had been equally silent, though much more awkward. Elliot watched the numbers light up as Lulu took an unhealthy interest in the floor. The elevator spit them out on her floor and Lulu led the way to the apartment, mentally preparing herself for World War III.

Casey opened the door and Lulu wordlessly stepped around her, shaking her head at the two adults staring each other down as if nothing else existed. "I'm going to the café down the street. Try not the kill each other. I don't think we have enough bleach."

He wanted details immediately after the door closed. He eased onto her couch without invitation and took a deep breath. He wanted to know everything. He wanted a real, strong and undisguised reason as to why she'd hung him out to dry. The facts, the sequence of the whole ordeal was paramount to his sanity. Frankly, not knowing was really pissing him off.

His questions were as insolent as they were unrestrained, revealing his hurt and disgust.

"It's complicated," her standard answer left a sour twinge in her mouth as she sat on the couch.

"Which definition of complicated are we using here, Counselor? Are you making this more difficult or confusing by causing it to be more complex? Or maybe your reasoning consists of many interconnecting parts or elements? Does it involve too many different and confusing aspects?" he wasn't raising his voice, his tone was surprisingly equable, but he was still a harsh sight to see. "I'd say 'bitchy' would be the better adjective, but what do I know?"

It was her silence that sent him over the edge.

"You used the law to nurse your own pain. You used Picard to atone for your mistakes with Charlie. You couldn't maneuver Charlie into an institution so you manipulated me into helping you put that sick, twisted son of a bitch in one..."

"Elliot..."

"No!" He yelled. "It's my turn to talk..."

His cell phone rang.

Once.

Twice.

Barely three times.

He hurled it at the wall, watching it shatter into a mosaic of plastic and wire.

"Real mature," she headed in the direction of her kitchen, in search of the dustpan, but he caught her wrist.

"Let's talk about Charlie."

Her breath caught at that name is his mouth.

She cleared her throat and shut her eyes. "Will you let it go?"

He leaned forward and pulled her down on the couch. "Liv told me died. I'm sorry."

He was being genuine, but it wasn't right. She couldn't talk about Charlie.

The man she'd loved.

And failed.

Especially not with another man she loved.

And failed.

"It wasn't your fault, the car accident or the breakdown the put him in its path."

"Thank you, Dr. Phil."

He dropped her hand.

"Did you love Charlie?"

She stood and began walking away, but he caught her wrist again pulled himself up, standing beside her. "Did you love him?"

Her jaw clenched and she turned on him, her eyes flashing. "Why? How the hell would that information benefit you?"

"I'm trying to understand you! Every decision you make is founded on your relationship with the guy. Every time we catch a case where mental illness is involved, you go into overdrive trying to turn it into a forum to absolve yourself. What you felt and continue to feel for Charlie isn't and was never love, Casey. I think you had an intense feeling of deep affection for taking care of the guy. It's like he was a moral imperative. He was an obligation. I think you thought you loved him at some point, but soon he became somebody you could fix and when you couldn't, you decided to make the guy a martyr and live your life inspired by your cause at the expense of everybody else's..."

"I think it's time for you to go."

He ignored the darkness in her tone. "That's why you're pushing me away, isn't it? You caught yourself feeling real affection and it scared the piss outta you."

"I wonder how your wife would feel about that."

"What we did was wrong and you were right, it's done. That's not the point. You let the fact that I got too close to you overshadow your ability as the squad's prosecutor. That's dangerous."

"So now that you've lectured me about constitutional law and my inability to love, you're gonna lecture me on my capacity as a prosecutor? Wow. You now what? I'm done and so are you. There's the door. Try not to let it hit you on the way out."

"Why can't you just talk to me?"

She wanted to. She wanted terribly to be honest with him. She wanted to tell him about Lulu, about Talon—all of it.

Elliot loved his children. He was fiercely loyal, consistently and obediently fulfilling his duties as a father and a husband—even when doing so proved to be an inconvenience. He was too conscientious to understand.

The thought of him knowing who she really was and what she'd done...

She couldn't let that happen.

So she did what was best for everyone.

"For what?"

He winced, her shouting ricocheting off the walls and slapping his face.

"No really, for what? It was just sex. I don't need you running around in my memories, exploring the underlying motives for everything I do. Try this on for size: I wanted to help Picard. The end. Charlie's not a factor. My absentee mother's not a factor. The hamster that died when I was twelve didn't play a role in it. I helped Picard. I shouldn't have sandbagged you. I admit that and I'm sorry, but that doesn't negate the fact that Picard needed more than an 8x10 cell. He needed professional help and I got it for him. Oh and for the record, I wouldn't sacrifice my job for the sole purpose of punishing you. Sorry, Elliot. It just wasn't that good."

He stood and watched.

She didn't move.

Either did he.

Finally, he nodded. "You chose this, Casey," he pulled the door open and spun around to face her. "Oh, by the way, since you're so helpful, you might wanna start paying a little more attention to your sister. Something's going on with her."

He left her apartment, forgetting the remains of his phone. She cleaned up the mess and tossed it in the garbage can, then helped herself to a strong cup of coffee. She huddled up against the couch's soft cushions and flipped on the television, drawing comfort from a southern cooking show.

"_You chose this_."

She'd chosen the wrong person again.

Her eyes absently caught Lulu's school picture on the wall.

She'd never learn.

* * *

**Next up: **Johnny vows to find out what Evelyn's up to. Casey and Lulu enjoy the calm before the storm. The Novaks and Stablers come together for an explosive Turkey Day meal. :)


	16. Sisters

I've been getting a lot of PMs about continuing this story. Here's a little something for your efforts. I love, _love _your comments. You all make this story with finishing.

I know my updates are sporadic at best, but my goal is to complete this story so I can get started on its sequel.

I'll be sending out review replies shortly. I'm sorry they're not prompt and I hope you all don't think I'm unappreciative of your feedback!

So, here's a Casey and Lulu scene—a calm before the storm. :)

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen: Sisters**

Casey was still curled up on the couch when she heard what she hoped were Lulu's knuckles pounding on the front door. Her sanity couldn't withstand another round of 'Castigate Casey' and she hoped Lulu would have the decency to keep the conversation away from Elliot. Unfortunately, the annoying adolescent clearly didn't have the decorum not to hammer incessantly upon the door of an emotionally exhausted, hungover slut.

Great, apparently her conscience wasn't inebriated enough to forget its flair for disparaging phraseology. _Great. _

"I brought goodies," Lulu crooned after an irritated Casey flung open the door. She held up a paper bag with her left hand and effortlessly balanced a pizza box upon her right palm. Her hair dripping wet and her face flushed, she grinned sheepishly as she smugly sauntered into the kitchen and sat the box on the kitchen counter before turning around to start a kettle for tea. "I figured you could use a pick me up."

"You figured right," Casey practically shoved her out of the way and began digging for creamy gold. She gleefully fished out a pint of Mud Pie. "You like me! You really like me!"

"I got it because of the coffee liqueur, figured it would do you some good. There's Cake Batter, Chocolate Fro-Yo, and Berried Treasure sorbet in there too. Oh, I even got the Size Matters container of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough."

She reached out and ruffled the girl's soaking wet hair. "I love you."

Lulu laughed. "It's kinda hard not to be moonstruck by the bringer of pity provisions," she sat the kettle on one of the stove's four burners and started toward the bathroom. "I'm gonna blow-dry my mop and then maybe we can watch the slash-a-thon on the horror channel or something."

"Yeah, sure," Casey pried open the paper bag and delved into the colossal sized container of the cookie dough ice cream. Bringing the spoon to her mouth, she sighed blissfully and leaned her back against the counter. Her sugar-induced rapture was short lived as a sudden bout of seriousness invaded her emotions. "Hey, Lulu?"

She peeled off her coat and turned around, half surprised by the earnest tone tinting Casey's voice. "Yeah?"

"I really do love you. I know I don't say it enough..."

"I know," she smiled and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Casey stared at the orange door, resting her hand on her chin.

Elliot was right.

Her breath caught.

There was a subdued, dispirited mien dulling Lulu's eyes.

As subtle as it was, Casey could see that something..._someone _had managed to trounce Lulu's spirit.

Evelyn.

She knew that look. Casey tugged at the ends of her scruffy ponytail and squeezed her eyes shut, remembering the day she'd reconciled herself to feeling demoralized and scattered. The day she'd handed Evelyn Montgomery her baby.

Lulu finally returned from the bathroom, her rambunctious curls having been conquered by the blow-dryer's highest setting. She stalked into the kitchen and relieved the counter of a slice of pizza before joining Casey on the couch. She stretched out and smacked her bare feet on the coffee table, snatching the remote off of one of the couch's plush cushions.

"So…how bad was the fight with Mr. Stabler?"

Casey groaned and purloined a slice of pepperoni off the plate on Lulu's knee, grinning complacently at the kid's affronted scowl. "Don't talk with your mouth full."

"That bad, huh?" she smirked around a mouthful of pepperoni joy. Swallowing, she placed a greasy hand on Casey's knee. "Look, I know some of this is my fault. I just wanted to get you out of your masturdating addiction."

"None of this is your fault, Lulu," Casey not so subtly frowned at the whisper of grease Lulu's fingers left on her sweatpants. "And masturdating? Really?"

"Colloquialisms: they're your friends. Oh come on, you know: stimulating one's own social life for recreational pleasure—aka going out alone. Taking _yourself_ out to dinner. Long walks on the beach: alone. Seeing date movies: alone. I mean, you probably saw 50 First Dates by yourself."

"Actually, I saw it with Charlie."

"Oh," Lulu's smirk dissolved. She laid on her head her sister's shoulder and looked up at her with curious eyes. "What was he like, you know...before..."

"Smart, hilarious, all the usual adjectives. He was a real movie buff. He took me to the Cannes Film Festival our second year of law school. We watched movies on the beach, got killer drinks at Le 72 and walked for hours on the Croisette promenade. Best. Twelve. Hours. Ever."

"I wish I could've met him, but you know how Evelyn was about me visiting you."

"He would've liked you."

She smiled. "I know you said it's not my fault, but I was always teasing you about Mr. Stabler and I'm sorry. I acted like a judgmental, morally superior Le Douche when I found out about what happened. I know what it's like to do something you regret and I shouldn't have rubbed salt in your wounds."

"Really Lulu, it's okay—actually, you know what? I don't wanna talk about Elliot," she sat up and stuck her feet under her bottom, comforted by the warmth the action produced. "I wanna talk about you."

Lulu furrowed her brow and swallowed another mouthful of pizza. "Me?"

"Yeah, 'you'. I know I haven't been much of sister these last few weeks. Between the case and other...circumstances...I've been completely swamped."

She shrugged. "It's okay. You're an ADA that's awesome enough to be given high profile cases. I never expected you to put your life on hold simply because Evelyn got sick of lugging me around."

"We've already had this conversation. I love you, Lulu. That's why I took you in. Evelyn had nothing to do with it. You have no idea how much you mean to me."

"I want to believe you, but I don't know how," she hesitated. "I...I don't know how to be wanted. How screwed up is that?"

"It's not screwed up. It's an adverse effect of enduring Evelyn's ultra fucked up brand of parenting. And you know what? You have a right to be affected by your life with her. You don't have to burden yourself by stifling your emotions. Copious amounts alcoholic beverages and therapy drastically—yeah, in that order—improved my sanity. You, on the other hand, don't need Jack Daniels and an obscenely expensive shrink. You know that if you need someone to talk to, I'm right here. _Believe _me, I understand."

"So you're better than a shrink now? I'm telling that Dr. Huang guy you work with."

"Oh please don't. His sanctimony gives me hives."

"Seriously, though. That's why I'm so grateful you took me in. It's nice to be with someone who understands what it was like growing up with that sociopathic witch. It's like..." she bit down on her lip and stared at her shoe. When she looked back up, her eyes were glassy and distant. "Do you...do you ever catch yourself—I don't know how to put this—do you ever see Evelyn in yourself?"

The guilt surged forward as if it were tailor made for Lulu's question.

Of course she felt callous and immoral.

She'd used Elliot as a pawn to ease her own guilt.

She'd held onto Charlie to fill a void and when he got too difficult, she cut him loose.

And he now was dead.

Then there was Lulu. As a child Casey swore she wouldn't even let her mother watch her kids on television, let alone have any real contact with them. Yet she'd exposed her innocent baby to the nightmare that was Evelyn Montgomery and for what?

To protect Talon Abbot?

She'd chosen a grown man over a helpless baby and every time she looked Lulu in the eye and caught even the faintest glimmer of the Evelyn enkindled despondency, she could feel the dormant traces of her mother nibbling at her conscience, waiting to break free and push her over the edge.

"I wonder what made Evelyn...well, Evelyn," Lulu continued, oblivious to Casey's emotional turmoil. "Who hurt her enough to make her just give up on feeling, you know? What damaged her so horribly that she woke up and decided to turn off her conscience? Sometimes I...I worry that something I've done...or will do...will turn me into her. Do you worry about that?"

"Lulu, love ya, but this worrying over nothing...not aesthetically pleasing, kay? Listen to me, you are not and will never be anything like Evelyn. There's nothing you can or could ever do that will change that. Her behavior isn't hereditary Lulu. She's not a sociopath because of some profound reason. She an amoral bitch because it's the only thing that appealed to her on career day. Don't turn your life into a self-fulfilling prophecy because you think you're genetically predisposed to Evelynosis."

"Evelynosis?" she laughed. "Really?"

Casey shrugged and laughed too. "I missed that."

"What?"

"Your laugh. You haven't been doing that much lately."

"I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier, especially in front of your dad. He probably thinks I'm a head case."

"I doubt it. It's not like I was Courteous Casey during my teenage years. In fact, compared to all the crap I pulled, you're Casey Lite."

Lulu reached over and played with the tips of Casey's fingers. "Is that why your dad sent you to live with Evelyn and the Abbots?"

Casey kept her eyes on the television as she stuffed another hunk of ice cream in her mouth. "Something like that."

The teenager frowned at verbal barricade. "Why don't you like talking about your time there? With the exception of that story about you falling in the lake, you haven't even talked about living with the Abbots. I know you didn't like my father or Tate, but you and Talon seem to get along. I liked hearing about what happened at Mont-Blanc..."

"Because it's the past, Lulu!" she interrupted brusquely.

Lulu dropped Casey's fingers and nervously placed her own hands into her lap. "Maybe for you," she mumbled. Sighing, she cleared her throat and ran her fingers through her hair. "You asked what Tate and Evelyn wanted last night."

Casey swallowed. "They're planning to take each other out and save us the trouble?"

"I wish," Lulu scoffed. "We uh...we talked about the board vote. I've decided to help Tate get Talon's job."

"Lulu..."

"I know you're not happy about it and even though you cast my vote via proxy, I still have some say. Tate may not be the best of people, but she's good at what she does. My father overlooked her because of her gender and if Talon's willing to keep those sexist policies in place then his ass deserves the boot."

"It's not the simple, Lu."

"No, it isn't. I'm not stupid."

"Stupid? No. Naïve and easily manipulated? Check! Do you even understand the implications of Tate becoming CEO? She plans on killing their prescription assistance program not to mention the hefty donations she wants to make to some..."

"...I've made my decision, Casey. As my proxy, you have to respect that."

They held each other's gazes until Casey decided to break the ice. "You know what? Screw it! Let's just forget about the Abbots, Evelyn...everything. You and I are going shopping."

Lulu frowned. "You hate shopping and it's storming outside."

"Hey, do you want that cute cardigan you saw at Liana or not?"

She was immediately on her feet. "I'm down."

"Figures."

* * *

They spent that faithful afternoon indulging in copious amounts of shopping and various other "girl time" activities. Lulu went with her to get a manicure and managed to sit through the process without complaint. Afterward, they stuffed their faces at a small French bistro and when their waiter referred to Lulu as her daughter, it took everything out of Casey to correct him.

* * *

Forgive my grammatical mistakes. :)

Liana is a real boutique on the Upper West Side where Casey (and Lulu) live.

**Preview: **I changed some things around. Casey, Lulu, and company don't spend Turkey Day with the Stablers. However, that doesn't mean the holiday isn't explosive. Some snippets:

Johnny and his wife surprise Casey and Lulu with a turkey and all the trimmings. He refuses to let up on Lulu's parentage and Evelyn's involvement in the whole mess.

A friendship is ruined.

Tate drops a bomb.

Later, you finally get to meet Casey's brothers. Her older brother Trip (Evelyn's son), who I've mentioned throughout the story, shows up to play mediator when a crisis threatens an already fragile situation. Craig (Johnny's son) and his family also make their debut in coming chapters.

Thanks for reading!

* * *

Also, would you guys mind checking out **theunknownauthor2015's **story "Control"? She's a first time author who would really love some feedback. Encouragement and/or constructive criticism really goes a long way. I remember when I published "Defining the Nest" and the sheer euphoria I got when I checked my inbox. It helped alleviate my anxiety about posting. So support: pass it on. :)


	17. Sentiment

It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Love to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and subscribed in my absence. Special thanks to those of you who have generously PMed me with encouragement over the last few months. My updates may continue to be sporadic, but I'm going to finish this story!

So, without further ado: here's a nice, long chapter to make up for the nice, long wait. :)

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: Sentiment**

The sound of knocking was tenacious. It wouldn't give up, try as Casey might to ignore it, but it was adamant about destroying her only refuge from the megaflop that was her life—sleep. She unfastened her eyes a slit. The room was dull with smoggy, city light. She yawned only to inhale the oily air that seemed to be exclusive to Manhattan's Upper West Side. She pulled her duvet over her head, hoping its thick feathers would drown out the infuriating racket.

Alas, the wretched knocking continued.

Groaning, she petulantly threw on her robe and headed toward the door in an agitated fog. She crossed her living room, the soft carpet licking her bare feet. She surveyed the room—mentally promising to turn off a certain teenager's cell phone after she tripped over a stray Doc Marten—and yanked open the front door, careful to leave the safety chain in tact.

"Happy Thanksgiving!"

"Why are you guys here?" It was too early to be polite. Casey glowered at the roasting pan in her stepmother's hands after she unfastened the door's chain. "What's that?"

"Why a turkey, of course," Melba Novak grinned, having mastered the ability to ignore Casey's 'morning magnetism' decades ago. "I brought all the fixings for sweet potatoes, stuffing, macaroni and cheese, biscuits, and your all time favorite: my pecan pie."

"So," Johnny held up several brown grocery bags and stared coldly into his daughter's eyes. "Gonna let us in?"

Casey stiffened under his wooden gaze, but waved them through the door nonetheless. "You _really_ didn't have to do this."

Melba's thin lips spread into a wide, eager grin as she stepped across the transom. "Of course I did! The thought of this family spendin' a traditional holiday in some swanky Yankee restaurant is just—why, it's unseemly! Besides," she sat the roasting pan on the kitchen counter and removed one of the magnetic picture frames from the refrigerator. "I couldn't wait to lay eyes on that adorable new grandbaby of mine."

Johnny unceremoniously plopped onto the couch and flicked on ESPN, completely unmoved by Casey's horrified expression. He propped his worn hiking boots on the coffee table and winked smugly at his daughter. "Yep…the kid's quite a looker, 'innt she Blaze?"

"…I think it's just admirable the way you took that child in," Melba continued, utterly oblivious to the mini Cold War waging in the living room. "The way I heard it, your no 'count mother had no business raisin' a gnat, much less a child. I think it's a fine thing you're doing' steppin' up for your baby sister the way you are."

Casey arduously resisted the urge to breathe a sigh of relief at the word 'sister'. "Yeah, real laudable."

"Oh, don't sell yourself, Casey," Johnny pulled a leather flask from the pocket of his denim jacket and raised it to her in a derisive solute. "An upstanding, virtuous public servant like yourself making' room in her hectic, accomplished life to rescue an innocent child from the clutches of a vile, lowdown witch like your mother? Well, I gotta say Blaze: that's beyond commendable."

She recoiled at the caustic edge in his voice. With a curt nod of her head, she cleared the tears from her throat. "Uh…I'm gonna shower and get changed."

Johnny gave an apathetic shrug and returned to the football game.

* * *

In the bathroom, she ran the hot water as long as possible. The humid haze pervaded into the cramped room and Casey found herself grateful that she couldn't see her own reflection in the tiny mirror above the sink.

Wrenching back the curtain, she eased into the cannonade of droplets, ironically comforted by the searing lashes of heat. She leaned her head against the moist tile and slammed her eyes. She had every intention of not thinking, but the images—the hospital bed, the viscous fetor of loss and finality clinging to air, the monitors, the hefty cries from the pink bundle in the retreating nurses arms—ricocheted from the bathroom's sweating tiles. She squeezed her eyes harder to repel the memories.

Fail.

Unfortunately for Casey Novak, the pictures and sounds weren't beyond the curtain, sitting on the toilet, waiting to be flushed. They were in her mind, festering.

They always would be.

She lowered herself downward, ignoring the howling from the throbbing nerve fibers in her back, and allowed the water to pelt down on her. She spewed deep, lacerating sobs that nobody could hear over the building's prehistoric plumbing.

Not that it would matter.

She doubted anyone would care.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, a showered and somewhat presentable Casey Novak emerged from the steamy bathroom to find a jovial, pajama clad Lulu chopping unions for Melba at the kitchen table. The lawyer snuck behind the focused teenager, ignoring the contemptuous glare her father was throwing at her from the couch, and clamped her pruned fingers on the girl's bare shoulder.

Lulu squealed and whirled around, a halfhearted scowl squinting her brown eyes. "Really? I could've cut my finger off."

Casey rolled her eyes at Lulu's characteristic flair for histrionics. "You may be all thumbs, but I reckon even you could manage not to cut yourself with a knife that hasn't been sharpened since the pilot episode of Friends."

"You 'reckon'?" Lulu wriggled her eyebrows cheekily. "Seems like somebody's inner Scarlett O'Hara's come out to play. Can I record you saying 'great balls of fire' so I use it as a ringtone?"

"Hush now," Melba turned away from the piecrust she was coddling and glared benignly at Casey. "And _you_: out!. You're distracting my sous-chef!"

Casey propped up an eyebrow. "You haven't even known the kid for seventeen seconds and you're already using her for domestic drudgery."

"That's because, unlike someone who shall remain nameless, Lulu is actually adept at the culinary arts."

She blonde scoffed. "Yeah, because chopping unions is such an artisan task."

"Spoken like a true novice," came Lulu's grinning rejoinder.

"Don't let her get to you, Lulu," Melba flashed the girl a conspiratorial smirk. "Casey here's always been ham-handed in the kitchen. Only thing edible that girl's been able to make are reservations."

"Oh, _burn_!" Lulu reached out and slapped the fleshy palm Melba was hovering over the table. "Good one, Nana."

"Nana?"

The heavyset woman shrugged. "It's what all the kids call me."

"Hmm," Casey simply nodded, ignoring the heaviness in her stomach. Desperate to preserve the light mood, she reached out and smacked the back of Lulu's head.

"Ouch!" the teen yelped. She glowered up at Casey, rubbing the point of impact. "What was that for?"

"You're supposed to on my side, Tallulah."

"Tallulah?" Melba's southern accent swelled around the name. She looked between the Abbot and the Novak; her blue eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Oh…my…that's just—oh it's just beautiful. Why didn't know tell me that was your name?"

Lulu shrugged, perplexed by Melba's sudden outbreak of sentiment. "Uh…well, it's umm…because I think it's…" she racked through the thesaurus in her brain, trying desperately to find a more palatable adjectives than 'callously hideous'. "…I'm not exactly…fond of it."

"Oh, I think it's a lovely name. It isn't exactly conventional, but I think its sentimental value upstages its eccentricity."

The girl scrunched up her nose. "I don't think my mother's big on mawkish things like applying emotion to the paltry task of denominating a neonate."

"Yes, it's common knowledge that Evelyn has the emotional capacity of a praying mantis, but that's neither here nor there on account of…" the heavyset woman tossed Casey a collusive wink. "…it was your sister named you."

Lulu practically decapitated herself trying to crane her neck so she could get a good look at Casey. "Really…_you _named me? Wow! Oh my god! …Wow! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you knew," she replied lamely. "I thought Evelyn told you."

Thankfully the kid was too excited to question Casey's expectation that Evelyn would do anything remotely maternal like engage one of her children in nostalgic—or even harmless—conversation.

"Evelyn's never come down with a ragging case of reminiscence. I'm sure she forgot to tell me, if she even cared. Tate mentioned that 'my mother' chose my name. I've always liked 'Lulu' because you gave it to me. It always made me fell connected to you, even though I didn't know you well back then. Wow!" she sighed audibly and blissfully. "You named me. I'm surprised Evelyn let you."

"Yeah," Casey tried unsuccessfully to the bitterness out of her tone. "Me too."

Most mothers didn't have to ask their neglectful egg donors for permission to name their own babies.

Then again, most mothers didn't offer up said babies as bargaining chips.

Thankfully, the sting of Lulu's palm colliding with Casey's thigh shook the woman out of her reverie.

"Why the _hell_ did you stick me with this 'lovely' name?"

"Well…"

"She and your brother used go camping at Tallulah Gorge Park with Pop and I when they were little," Melba barreled ahead.

"You knew my brother Tripp?"

"_Knew _him? You silly girl, I helped raise him until your mother forced him up to that ritzy boarding school. Anyhow, we used to all stand in front of the falls and just listen to that water roar. Surrounded by all of those trees, swaddled by the backcountry air—my God, girl, you don't have the foggiest of notions as to what you're missin'. Casey used 'ta say it was the most beautiful thing she ever saw," Melba reached in and tucked one of the girl's stray curls under her ear. "Till she saw you, that is."

The awestruck look in Lulu's brown eyes churned Casey's stomach.

It had been easier without the memories clawing at her.

She could look at Lulu without seeing that puffy red baby wrapped up in a blanket too big for her.

She could smell her _sister's _hair without conjuring the fresh scent of her _daughter_'s burgeoning coils.

She'd managed to look into the girl's brown eyes for months—_Talon's_ brown eyes—and not see herself drunkenly entangled with the Abbot golden boy.

Lulu's trusting and pure love for her _sister_ had been easier to except before the painful flashes of a how empty and unnecessary Casey's arms felt when the nurse had whisked the crying bundle away.

"Casey, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she ruffled the girl's hair to prove it.

Lulu looked up at her incredulously. "You're crying."

"Happy tears."

"Sorry to break the Hallmark moment, but I gotta make a beer run," Johnny's gruff voice cut through the dense poignancy hovering over the room. "Casey, git your coat. I need you to show me to a store and not one of those fancy health nut joints, either. I don't want any of that low calorie crap. Stuff tastes like a tub of piss somebody had the bad manners to die in."

Casey glanced at the digital clock on the oven. "It's barely eleven, Daddy."

"Don't make eyes at me, girl!" he half sneered. "It's bad enough I'm surrounded by all this loud ass Yankee city racket, but a football game without a good beer? That's just askin' too much."

"Why _are_ you so grumpy anyway, Pop? You've been in a mood since I got up."

Thankfully, his green eyes softened when they'd landed on his granddaughter.

"I'm sorry, Lollipop. Guess I ain't in much of a holiday way."

"Lollipop?"

"Yeah," he full-blown smiled at her then. "Everybody in this family's gotta nickname. High time you had one too."

"Thanks," she beamed back at him. "Though, please refrain from referring to as "Lollipop' in front of my peers. My social life is lacking as it is."

Johnny felt his heart constrict when saw his own smile on the Abbot's face. He winked at the girl. "Ask for no promises and I'll won't disappoint."

Casey shrugged on her coat and glanced apprehensive at her father. "Ready?"

He gave the faintest of nods. "Hurry up with dinner, Melba," he threw over his shoulder as he aimed his rushed gait at the door Casey was holding open. "Time to fatten this child up with some good 'ol fashion home cooking. The poor thing's so skinny she has to stand up twice to cast a shadow."

* * *

Once outside and the confines of her car, Casey whirled on her father. "I wish you'd just give it a rest."

"Really? Well, if wishes were horses then beggars would ride for free."

"Daddy, could you just _please_..."

"It's a sad day when Tate Abbot is the only person giving the straight skinny to your daughter..."

"What…?

"Tate told her that 'her mother' named her."

"Daddy…"

"How long do you plan on lyin' to that child, Casey Leigh?"

"_Daddy_…"

"Don't 'Daddy' me! Got the nerve to just _sit up_ in the child's face and lie like a dog! I heard her call you Scarlett O'Hara, but the girl's Gone With the Wind character assessments are a ways off. Should-da called ya Prissy on account of you how you 'don't know nothing 'bout birthin' no babies'. Whoops, I reckon that's a lie too."

She found her hands gripping the steering wheel until her knuckles bulged out her alabaster skin.

"And where the hell _is_ that _boy_?" Johnny carried on. "He's the one who started this whole mess in the first dog-on place, him and that bigheaded sister of his. He's that child's father, innt he? Shouldn't he been down here helping to clean up this ugly business instead of leaving you holding the bag and the bundle?"

They stopped at a red light. She willed herself not to cry, but her traitorous tear ducts flipped her pride the bird and opened up the floodgates. She looked at him, imploring him with her watery eyes and eroded pride to shut his mouth.

Johnny Novak wasn't one to take hints.

"I don't care how you spin it. That egg suckin' son of a bitch took advantage of you. You were a sixteen-year-old girl—a _drunk_ sixteen-year-old girl—and he was a grown ass man. He had no business lying down with you and that's the end of it. Then—_and_ _then_—that scum suckin' bastard has the nerve to team up with your mother to strong arm you into burying the evidence! Has he even spared a single thought to that poor child? Has he even seen her? Why's it just you bearing the brunt of this ugly business?"

"Daddy," she allowed herself a slow, deep breath. "Will you please just let it go?"

"How?" his voice quavered with desperation. "_How_ do you expect me to just 'let it go'? You slept with your stepbrother, Casey! Your twenty year old stepbrother…"

Casey gripped the wheel harder. She could feel her own righteous indignation curdling in her stomach as she made a sharp left. It occurred to her then that she had no clue as to where she was taking them.

When they pulled into an angry mass of traffic, she turned to look at her father. With a great deal of effort, she managed to employ a civil tone. "It wasn't incest. Talon and I didn't grow up together or in the same house. We didn't have a sibling relationship. What transpired between Talon and I was a drunken, intemperate mistake made by two lonely and desperate kids…"

"…it wasn't some boozed up boo-boo, Casey Leigh! You were a _child_ and he was grown man who manipulated you. Look-a-here, you'd have no problem trying a twenty-year-old stranger who had sex with a confused, lonely sixteen-year-old child! Why the hell is that smarmy bastard exempt?"

"It's..."

"Complicated? Yeah, I'm aware of that," he said bitterly. "Which begs the question, how long do you expect to keep up this lie? Until she's eighteen? You gonna tell her on your deathbed? How long am I supposed to go along with this crap? Or are you gonna be a real genius and wait for Tate or your mother to tell her?"

"Daddy," she couldn't look at him. She _wouldn't _look at him. "I really can't deal with you right now…"

"Well, unlike Lulu, you can just pass me off on your mother because I'm inconvenient."

The tears continued to prod at her eyes, but she refused to let more fall. Instead, she scourged her father with a wintry glare. "You asked me why I didn't come to you then. This," she waved a hand about the car's cabin. "_This_ is why I didn't tell you then! I didn't need your judgment. It was all I could do to keep myself sane enough to have a healthy pregnancy. The last thing I needed was another voice in my head calling me a whore."

The unfastened, desolate expression dimming his daughter's classic features frightened Johnny. He found himself regretting having returned her glare. "I wouldn't have judged you then," he said softly, avoiding her eyes. He stared out the window into the congested sea taxicabs clustered together like a clump of mucus. "I would've tried to do right by you. Hell, I would've raised Tallulah if you'd asked me too. Tallulah," he scoffed nostalgically. "We had some good times there, didn't we?"

She nodded, focusing on the road. For their safety, she told herself.

"I don't think you understand what you're askin' for me, Blaze," his guttural voice was surprisingly subdued as he finally turned to face her. "You're askin' me to accept that you gave your mother your child to abuse without so much as a second thought. You then expect me to believe that after almost fourteen years, Evelyn kindly decided to give her back, despite the fact that the kid's a fiscal asset. You want me to sit up here and buy that all these Abbots coming up outta the woodwork's just a coincidence, that all Tate has on her brother is the baby he had with you."

He reached out and tucked two fingers under her chin. "I'm not stupid, Casey. I know that daughter I raised. I know Tate and Evelyn have something else on you and you can bet your ass I'm gonna figure out what it is."

* * *

A few miles away, in Queens, Kathleen Stabler was leaning on the trunk of the tree where Lulu and Lizzie met, staring up the grey sky through the leafless branches. The frigid air smuggled its away into her peacoat and she welcomed its intrusion, grateful for something that was finally able to benumb her senses.

"There you are! What the hell are you doing out here? It's freezing!"

Elizabeth Stabler's irritating shrill deposited her older sister back into reality. The blonde frowned. "I needed some space. Wanna tell me why you decided to invade it?"

"Believe me," she narrowed her eyes at her sister's foul mood. Though she was begrudgingly becoming accustomed to Kathleen's fluctuating disposition, Lizzie couldn't help but wonder what had crawled up the older girl's ass and transformed her into a temperamental bitch. "Your turbulent vacuole of malefic 'space' is the last place I wanna invade, trust me. Anyway, Mom wants you to make a store run. Seems we're outta mayonnaise. Since Dad managed to bribe the relevant authorities into letting you keep your license to kill—erm, _drive—_I'm sure a quick spin down to the supermarket will be no trouble."

Kathleen slit her blue eyes. "You're such a bitch," swallowing, she tried a different tactic. "Have you heard from Lulu?"

"Yeah," Lizzie looked down at the toe of the Converse she was dragging through the dirt. "She can't make it. Casey's parents showed up with a surprise feast. She felt bad about turning us down, but I told her not to worry about it."

Kathleen practically sneered at the disappointed tint in the younger girl's voice. "And you let her get away with that?"

Lizzie looked genuinely puzzled. "Get away with what? Her family showed up. Big deal. Besides, it's her first Thanksgiving with her sister. Why wouldn't she wanna spend it with family?"

"You really care about her, don't you?"

"Uh…_yeah_? Kinda comes with the 'best-friend' territory, don't cha think?"

"Well, you shouldn't."

With that, Kathleen unceremoniously flung herself in the direction of the house.

However, Lizzie was notorious for her penchant for belaboring a point. She grabbed her sister's elbow, roughly turning her around. "What's that supposed to mean? And what's your deal, anyway? You've been asking like a bitch on training-wheels all week!"

"Forget it. I'm just having a bad week…"

"Try again," Lizzie shook her for good measure. "Why are you so down on Lulu all of a sudden? You were the one who invited her to Thanksgiving in the first place."

"Drop it, Liz—"

"No!" she shook her again. "Lulu's my best-friend. I'm not gonna stand around and let you trash her…"

"She's playing you, all right!"

"…what the hell are you—"

"She's playing you," Kathleen wrenched free from her sister's loosened grip. "She's playing you. She's been playing all of us."

"Has your drinking turned you into a paranoid schizophrenic? What the hell are you playing at?"

Kathleen laughed hollowly. "Uh, no? That would be Casey's ex. Oh, excuse me, I mean her _other_ ex."

"One. More. Time! What the _hell_ are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Casey's doing our father beside Mom's back!"

"Get the fuck outta—where'd hear—how'd you come up with _that_ one?"

The blonde covertly scanned the yard. Satisfied that they were alone, she continued, "I heard Lulu and Dickie talking the other day. Remember when we went with Mom to the store?" she frowned at Lizzie's unconvinced nod. "Well when I unlocked the front door, she and Dickie were on the couch talking. Apparently he overheard Dad admit to 'banging his sister's best friend's sister'. Apparently, our precious little _Loo Loo_ knew all along…"

"You're lying…"

"Really? Am I? Come Lizzie, I couldn't make this shit up if I _tried_. Why would I want to?"

Lizzie's face plummeted. "She would've told me…"

"Obviously not."

"I don't…I don't understand…" she looked away and peered through the sliding kitchen door and caught Elliot leaning against the counter, laughing as he fawned over Kathy's belly, husband wife in their own little world. "Why would Dad…?"

Kathleen wrapped a tentative arm around her shoulder. "I don't know…"

"I just don't understand—" Lizzie closed her mouth with an audible snap when she noticed Dickie ambling out of the back door and in their direction.

"Kathleen! Mom said—" he paused, furrowing his brow as he looked between his sisters. "What's going on?"

"Oh, like you don't know!"

He flinched under Lizzie's acrimonious gaze and stuffed his hands inside the pockets of his jeans. "How did you find…"

"Does it matter?" Kathleen spit. "How long were you planning on keeping it a secret?"

It was his turn to get ruffled. "Uh, gee, I was thinking about sharing the news over dinner. Nothing like sending Mom into early labor to make the day festive."

Kathleen looked surprisingly chastened. "Fair enough. Does Dad know that you know?"

He shook his head. "He knows something's up though. I've kinda been avoiding him."

"I can't believe Lulu never said anything," Lizzie spoke more to herself than to her siblings. "Why didn't—she's my _best friend_—she should've…"

"She wanted to, Liz. She…"

"Oh come off it Dickie! She wouldn't have told you if you didn't already know!"

"Lizzie, think about it: she's just as much of a victim as were are…"

"Really? 'Cause her perfect little family seems to be intact right now."

"Yeah, '_really'_, Kathleen. What the hell was she supposed to say? 'Hi, my sister's doing your dad. Pass the carrots?' She's not responsible for Casey anymore than we are for Dad."

"All this time she's been telling me something's been going on between her and her Mom and _that's_ why she's been on edge. She lied. She _lied_ to me…"

"Think about it from her side…"

"Why are you acting like her little fanboy? She's been hanging out with me, eating dinner with us—with _Mom_—acting like things are normal when the _whole_ time she and her sister have been laughing behind our fucking backs…"

"I felt the same way too at first, but it really isn't her fault…"

"The sex wasn't, but her lying about it is…"

"She didn't exactly 'lie'…"

"Yeah? How many times has Dad drilled into our heads that 'omitting the truth' is still lying?"

" 'Yeah?' Uh, how many times have you actually listened to what Dad's had to say, Kathleen? Look, Lizzie, just talk to her, all right? It would be stupid for you to just drop her because…"

"Oh, the only '_stupid'_ thing I did was trust her. Well, you know what? I'm done. You're right, I _am_ gonna go talk to her. I'm gonna tell her exactly what I think of her _and _that two-faced bitch she calls a half-sister. Hey, Kathleen, feel like taking a detour to Queens?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

Groaning, Dickie trudged behind the two girls, hoping he'd be able to run enough damage control to salvage the only real friendship his twin had ever known.

* * *

**Preview Time: **

Lizzie confronts her best friend.

Tate finally explains what really triggered her reaction to Tucker's murder.

Casey's stall tactics don't help matters.


End file.
